As incredulous as it may seem, some people have a fear of succeeding. Sometimes it’s born out of past trauma that makes them associate success with negative consequences. Sometimes it’s just because they don’t want to have to push themselves or be expected to give more than they already do. Regardless of the motivations behind it, there are a few habits that people who are secretly afraid of success regularly engage in.
1. Shirking responsibility, rather than embracing it.
People who are afraid of success need an excuse to not have to change, grow, or do the work needed if they leave their comfort zone, so they’ll avoid doing anything that’d require them to step up. They won’t put in for a promotion even though they know they can do the job. They won’t submit their writing to publications, apply for that dream job, or put themselves in the spotlight because then they’d no longer have an excuse to be mediocre, to not try, or not prove that they’re capable of more than they imagine.
2. Procrastinating the work that needs to be done.
They know exactly what they need to do to achieve their goals but they’re going to keep finding ways to avoid doing those tasks. They’ll keep putting it off and swearing that other stuff is more important or that they simply don’t have the time. The truth is if they really wanted to get it done, they’d find the time. But they’re afraid to find out what happens after the part that they can control—finishing the task—is over.
3. Turning down opportunities for no good reason.
When you have a fear of success you tend to find flimsy reasons to not take advantage of opportunities that might potentially help your career or raise your status. You may be a struggling artist who gets an offer to do some illustration work for a publishing house or an upcoming movie. But instead of jumping at the chance to platform your work in such a significant way, you start reaching for excuses for why you can’t do it. There’s not enough time. Someone is sick. You need to travel. There’s too much on your plate at the moment.
4. Shying away from publicly celebrating achievements.
You’re good at what you do but only a handful of people know because you insist on hiding your light under a bushel. You talk about how it’d be great for more people to find your work but you don’t actually share it. When you do post about their work, you don’t speak confidently about it or you hide behind anonymity to do so. When something significant happens in your career, you don’t promote it, you even struggle to share the good news with friends.
5. Allowing distractions to get in the way of work.
Their dog barks a little louder in the next room and they have to stand up and check. A message flashes across their phone screen and they spend the next three hours texting and scrolling aimlessly through Twitter rather than return to the work they were doing. They give in easily to the slightest distractions and let themselves be carried away rather than focus on doing meaningful work that will advance their lives or help them hit their goals.
6. Speaking about their ambitions like it’s an afterthought.
The way we talk about our dreams and goals can reflect how we truly feel about them and how committed we are to reaching them. People who are afraid of success have a habit of minimizing the weight of their plans and ambitions to make them seem less grand. They don’t speak passionately about their desires because they don’t see it as something that can really happen, it’s just a nice, pretty wish.
7. Underselling or lowballing themselves.
They will turn their noses up at the idea of applying to a job with a higher rank even though they can probably handle it, and settle for a lower rank that won’t challenge them all that much. When asked for a quote, they will lowball themselves instead of asking for what they deserve because getting offered what they’re truly worth would mean that they’re on the rise or put them in a different tax bracket. They’re not ready for the attention, responsibility, or issues that may come with that.
8. Giving up before the finish line.
Sometimes, they might start something that they’re really excited about and proceed to work hard at it until they hit a small bump or challenge. They take a break and promise to come back to it later when they’ve done a bit more research or feel recharged enough to tackle it. Days turn into weeks, then months but the project is still unfinished. Then they start working on something new and repeat the process all over again. The truth is they’re afraid to go all the way and give it everything they have but they can pretend that they’re still chasing their dreams by starting new projects they won’t complete.
9. Engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors.
People who have a fear of success will knowingly miss deadlines, fail to properly prepare for an interview, reject opportunities that can improve their lives, or get wasted the night before an important life-changing event. They’ll do self-destructive things and set themselves up for failure just to avoid bettering their lives because they can’t face good things happening to them.
10. Waiting for everything to be perfect before going after what you want.
Even though they know they’re not perfect and have never been, they keep waiting to grow into some better, more mature, and equipped version of themselves before they permit themselves to chase after their dreams. They think only when everything in their life is perfectly balanced will they be worthy of their desires. In reality, it’s just another excuse to keep putting off their goals.
11. Not setting ambitious and clear goals.
When you set goals, especially when they’re clear, it creates an easier path to achieving them. People who fear success often avoid goal-setting for this reason. If they don’t set a clear goal, it’s easier to pretend they don’t have dreams or know how to go about making their dreams a reality.
12. Not asking for help when it’s needed.
Even though they know people who can offer guidance or some kind of support to get them where they want to go, they won’t reach out to them for help. Or only do so when it’s too late. They’ll say they’re not asking for help because they don’t want to impose or some other reason that isn’t based on facts. So they end up failing when they might have had a different outcome by just taking a small risk and getting help.
13. Worrying more about what people will think than what they actually want.
What if they don’t care about my work? What if people make fun of me? What if they criticize my work and it turns out I’m not good enough? What if they think I’m getting too big for my britches? What if people start expecting things from me? People with a fear of success spend so much time worrying themselves to death over how people would react to them going after their goal and this keeps them from putting in work towards it.
14. Not taking action and expecting motivation to strike.
The fear of finding out what lies on the other side of success makes them lazy. Instead of simply getting up and pushing themselves to do everything in their power to create the life they secretly desire, they keep waiting for inspiration and drive to come and meet them where they are.
15. Wallowing in self-doubt.
People who are afraid of success often have feelings of inadequacy. They feel like an impostor and like they’re not good enough to deserve the life, career, or relationship that they want or have or the opportunities that come their way. So they find a reason to not reach for them or to sabotage them. Then they latch on to this self-engineered failure as proof that they’re unworthy.
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