When you hit the dating scene, you probably think of tons of red flags you should be keeping an eye out for to guard your heart. But, sometimes they can lead you astray. What if you think something is a negative or toxic trait but it actually isn’t? You could be missing out on your person. Here are 15 so-called red flags that aren’t really an issue, so don’t sweat them.
1. They still live at home.
It’s unfair to judge someone right off the bat for still living at home with their parents. There are so many situations that can cause them to pack up their things and head back to their childhood home. Maybe one of their parents is sick and they’re trying to help them out or it’s a temporary need. Ask before you make assumptions.
2. They don’t meet your physical requirements.
You might have a certain physical appearance that you like to see in a partner, such as someone who’s tall, with dark hair ,and blue-green eyes. While it’s good to know what you want, you shouldn’t judge someone based on what they look like. Take a deeper look into their more attractive traits—yes, personality always trumps appearance!
3. They don’t exist on social media.
When you meet someone, you’re probably itching to search for them on social media. If you can’t find them, it may feel weird and your mind might go to the darkest reasons, like they’re hiding a profile somewhere on Meta and IG, or leading a double life. But, it’s not necessarily bad that they don’t have an online presence. Maybe they prefer real life instead of the virtual game. Or, perhaps they’re tired of the pressure to be perfect online.
4. They haven’t been single for that long.
Yes, sometimes it’s a red flag when the person you’ve met is just out of a relationship. But is it always a deal-breaker? No! If it’s been a few weeks or months, they might’ve moved on from their ex. It really depends on the type of relationship and breakup they experienced, so dig a little deeper to learn more about the circumstances.
5. They’ve never traveled.
Don’t judge someone who hasn’t been bitten by the travel bug. Maybe they want to visit other countries but they’re saving up for it. Or, while they might not travel internationally, perhaps they travel within their state or country (and know more about it than you do!). So, see where they’re at. If you love jetting off to exotic places, find out if they’re keen to join you. That’s what matters.
6. They’re buddies with their ex.
It’s not always a red flag if someone’s still on good terms with their exes. Maybe they sucked as a couple, but they’re great as friends. It doesn’t mean they’re still harboring romantic feelings for each other. Only stress out if you see your partner’s unhealthily attached to their ex, such as if they’re making their ex more of a priority than you.
7. They’ve never been married.
It doesn’t matter if the person’s in their late 30s or older and they haven’t been married yet. There’s this misconception that if someone isn’t married by a certain age, there’s a toxic reason for it. It could just be that they’ve never met the right person and don’t want to settle!
8. They kiss you on a first date.
Kissing on a first date might feel like things are moving too fast, but it’s not necessarily a bad sign. Everyone has different ideas of what’s acceptable or not on a first date, and it can be totally different from one person to the next. This is why communicating what you want and don’t want from the start is so important.
9. They’re not close to their family.
It’s easy to assume that if your partner isn’t hanging out with their family members, they’re cold or abandoning their loved ones, but this is extreme. There are tons of reasons why they might not get along with those who should be close to them, so explore instead of jumping to conclusions.
10. They don’t have many friends.
Maybe your partner has tons of friends, or maybe they only have one or two. It’s unfair to judge them based on the size of their social circle. If they don’t have many friendships, they might be introverts who want to make deep connections with fewer people. If you’re an extrovert, it’s worth checking in to see what middle ground you share as your social goals will affect your relationship.
11. They haven’t gained your friends’ approval.
You want your friends to like who you date and you value their opinions of your choice of romantic partner. But you know what? They have their own opinions that don’t necessarily have to match yours! While you value their input, it’s not as important as listening to your gut.
12. They’re not your usual type.
It’s healthy to know what you’re looking for in a partner, but don’t be restricted by it. You might be surprised to connect with someone who doesn’t check all your boxes. So don’t write someone off without going on at least a date or two with them.
13. They have different fitness habits than you.
If you hate working out and your crush loves spending their spare time in the gym, you might worry that you’re incompatible. Sure, differences in fitness goals can feel like a huge challenge, but they don’t have to be. As long as your partner’s not the type to wake you up super-early to go for a four-mile run, it’s all good.
14. They don’t text as much as you do.
Different texting styles can be annoying at times, like if you want to text at least five times a day and your partner is fine with chatting every three days. But, here’s where compromise comes in! Of course, there are some texting red flags that are legit, like if the person leaves you on “read” for a week or only texts you in the early hours of the morning.
15. They’re currently unemployed.
Unemployment can happen to anyone at any time. If the person you’ve started dating is currently jobless, it’s not a red flag that should make you run for the nearest exit. It’s only a problem if they lack motivation or don’t want to work, or they’re expecting you to fund their lifestyle.
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