You’re on a high after achieving a goal or getting a promotion, but the Negative Nellie in your life never pops the champagne bottle with you. Instead, they always try to belittle you or bring you down because they’re jealous or insecure. However, you don’t have to let them rain on your parade all the time. Enough is enough! Here are 15 comebacks so you don’t let their negative comments derail you.
1. “Thanks for your support, it means a lot!”
When someone tries to make you feel bad about your success by rolling their eyes or smirking when you’re sharing your achievements, one of the best ways to deal is to dish them some sarcasm. Tell them something like, “Thanks for your support, it means a lot to me!” They might be thrown by your mock appreciation, which will instantly give you the upper hand. Thanking them also tells them that you’re rising above whatever they have to say and remaining positive. Good for you!
2. “Now tell me what you really think!”
If the person has tried to make you feel bad about your success with a backhanded compliment or by giving you a half-hearted “well done,” you might notice that they don’t have the confidence to let rip with their honest comments. Use that against them! By saying, “Now tell me what you really think!” you’re telling them that you’re onto them. You’re being assertive enough to call out the fact that they’re hiding their true feelings.
3. “You don’t get more sun by throwing shade.”
This is a great put-down when someone belittles and tries to undermine you. It avoids a direct insult, while still telling the person that throwing shade and being negative isn’t going to do them any favors. However, it doesn’t resort to aggression that can escalate the tension in the situation, which is a good thing. It takes the high road, sort of like telling someone to focus on their own growth.
4. “Please tone down your enthusiasm.”
Some people who undermine you will become sulky or moody when they see you celebrating. They’re stewing in their negative emotions, but you don’t have to let them bring down the positive vibe. A clever way of dealing with their bad mood is to act as though they’re excited about your success, such as by saying, “Please tone down your enthusiasm” or “Careful you don’t overflow with excitement.” This is a smart way to bring attention to their negative response and make them check themselves.
5. “Um, what are you trying to say, exactly?”
When someone tries to make you feel bad about your achievements, they might be subtle about it. For example, they might give you a backhanded compliment like, “You’re doing so well — for a newbie!” or struggle to verbalize their congratulations. It’s annoying, so asking what they’re really trying to say is a good way to enable them to elaborate on their feelings. It will put them on the spot, helping you dodge the spotlight, while also shutting down any further negative comments.
6. “Should I play small to make you feel more comfortable?”
If someone keeps undermining your success, it could be because they can’t handle it because they’re jealous and want to one-up you. This type of comeback works well to expose them, but it’s best reserved for someone who’s blatantly rude and consistently puts you down. It shows them that you’re not going to cut yourself down to size to make them feel better about themselves. Ouch!
7. “Thanks for your concern, but I’ve got this.”
A common tactic used by people who rain on your parade is to show fake concern. They might say something like, “I’m happy for your promotion, but don’t you think you’re taking on too much work?” Um, right. Nip their comments in the bud by saying something like, “Thanks for your concern, but I’ve got this.” This tells them that you don’t need their unsolicited, negative advice anymore.
8. “I must be doing something right because I have critics.”
This comment is a universal comeback that can be used for any type of criticism people use to make you feel less positive about your achievements. “I must be doing something right because I have critics” tells them that the more negative and judgy they are, the more it confirms for you that you’re on the right path. So, basically, they can’t win!
9. “Thanks for keeping me humble… or not.”
The person wants you to feel bad, but you’re not going to give them the satisfaction. Play with them a bit. Fake-thank them for keeping you humble with their negative comment, then take it back by saying that you’re not actually thanking them for anything. They’ll be taken by surprise, which will put you in the power seat. This comeback informs them that you’re not grateful for anything that’s come out of their mouth, so they should keep it to themselves in the future.
10. “If you’re looking for a job, I hear the grapevine is hiring.”
Some people who try to belittle your achievements will do so behind your back by spreading nasty rumors about you. It’s their way of making themselves feel less inferior. If you’ve caught wind of this gossip, you can nip it in the bud with a witty comeback, like, “If you’re looking for a job, I hear the grapevine is hiring.” This informs the person that you know what they’re doing to hurt you, while making them see that they’re only good for spreading negativity.
11. “Not everything is a competition.”
Pointing out that you’re not trying to compete with or one-up anyone can be a good way to deal with someone who’s always undermining your success. By gently reminding them that not everything is a competition, you might get through to them by making them realize they’re letting their envy get the better of them. It also shows them that you’re rising above their comments and focusing on your own journey.
12. “I’d offer you a ladder, but I’m too busy climbing it.”
If someone keeps dragging you down whenever you succeed, it can feel so frustrating. But, get back up and say something like, “I’d offer you a ladder, but I’m too busy climbing it.” Woah, nice one! It’s assertive and prevents you from feeling bad about your success. If you know the person’s envious of you, this will hit them where it hurts. While they might be trying to put you in your place, you’re flipping the script by saying that you’re going to continue hogging all the success and won’t leave any for them.
13. “I think my achievements speak for themselves.”
This is a good comeback in situations where the person’s negative comments make you feel like they’re trying to make you doubt your achievements. For example, if they say, “Good work with the promotion — you got lucky.” Ouch. Telling them that your achievements speak for themselves will shut them down. It’s more effective than trying to explain why you deserved your success, which can come across as insecure. You don’t have to prove yourself to them.
14. “Why not put your energy into something productive, like knitting? It’ll calm you down.”
This witty comeback helps you to focus on something positive – you’re basically telling the person that they should be doing something better with all their pent-up energy. By including a bit of humor in suggesting that they take up knitting, you keep things light. The humor also works well to show the person that you’re not taking on their negative attitude. In fact, you’re poking fun at it.
15. “Don’t look so scared!”
If you want to get to the kernel of what’s upsetting the person dishing you mean comments, saying something like, “Don’t look so scared!” works well. You’re zoning in on the fact that they’re lashing out at you from a place of jealousy, envy, and frustration because they don’t want to see you succeed. Although they’re making those comments with an arrogant attitude, they’re actually afraid of rejection and failure. Shining a light on this will make the person back down.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow PsychLove on MSN for more!
