First dates can be nerve-wracking, but they’re also a chance to make a great impression and see if there’s a spark.
But if you’re constantly striking out and can’t seem to score that second date, it might be time to take a look at your first-date behavior. Are you making some common mistakes that are turning potential partners off? Here are some habits that might be sabotaging your chances for a second encounter.
1. You talk too much about yourself.
It’s natural to want to share your life and experiences with someone you’re interested in, but going on and on about yourself can be a major turn-off. Remember, a first date is about getting to know each other, not just hearing your life story. Ask your date questions about their life, interests, and experiences. Show genuine curiosity and listen actively to their responses. This will make them feel valued and appreciated, and it will give you a better chance to connect on a deeper level.
2. You constantly check your phone.
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get distracted by our phones. But constantly checking your phone on a first date sends a clear message that you’re not fully present or interested in your date. Put your phone away, silence notifications, and focus your attention on the person in front of you. This will show respect and demonstrate that you’re genuinely invested in getting to know them.
3. You bring up your ex too much.
Talking about your ex on a first date is a big no-no, Verywell Mind advises. It can make you seem hung up on the past or not ready for a new relationship. Focus on the present moment and the person you’re with. If your date asks about your past relationships, keep your answers brief and avoid negativity. Focus on the positive aspects of your dating history and what you’ve learned from past experiences.
4. You dominate the conversation.
A first date should be a balanced conversation, with both people having a chance to share their thoughts and feelings. If you find yourself talking nonstop, pausing for a breath, and asking your date questions about their life and experiences. Active listening is key to a successful first date, so make sure you’re giving your date the space and attention they deserve.
5. You get too personal too quickly.
While sharing personal information can be a way to build intimacy, revealing too much too soon can be overwhelming and make your date uncomfortable. Start with lighter topics and gradually delve deeper as the conversation progresses. Pay attention to your date’s body language and verbal cues to gauge their comfort level. If they seem hesitant or uncomfortable, dial back the intensity and stick to more neutral topics.
6. You’re overly critical or negative.
Nobody wants to spend an evening with someone who’s constantly complaining or criticizing everything. Keep the conversation positive and upbeat. Focus on the things you enjoy and the positive aspects of your life. If you have negative thoughts or feelings, save them for another time. A first date should be fun and lighthearted, not a therapy session.
7. You brag about your accomplishments.
While it’s important to be confident, bragging about your accomplishments can come across as arrogant and off-putting. Instead of boasting about your successes, focus on sharing your passions and interests. Talk about the things you’re excited about and the goals you’re working towards. This will give your date a better sense of who you are as a person and what you value in life.
8. You come across as desperate or needy.
Desperation is never attractive. If you’re constantly texting or calling your date after the first meeting, or if you come across as overly eager for a second date, it can be a major turn-off. Play it cool and give your date space. Let them know you had a great time, but don’t pressure them for another date. If they’re interested, they’ll let you know.
9. You neglect basic hygiene or grooming.
First impressions matter, and that includes your appearance. Showing up to a date looking disheveled or unkempt can be a major turn-off. Take the time to shower, groom yourself, and dress in a way that makes you feel confident and attractive. Remember, basic hygiene and grooming are signs of respect for yourself and your date.
10. You’re rude or disrespectful to people.
Treat everyone with respect, including waitstaff, bartenders, and other service personnel. Being rude or dismissive towards other people is a major red flag and can reveal a lot about your character. Show kindness and consideration to everyone you interact with, and your date will take notice. Remember, a first date is also a chance to assess your compatibility with someone, and how you treat people is a significant factor in that assessment.
11. You’re too focused on finding “the one.”
While it’s great to be hopeful and optimistic about finding love, putting too much pressure on a first date can create a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere. Instead of focusing on whether this person is your soulmate, focus on enjoying their company and getting to know them. Relax, have fun, and let the connection develop naturally. Remember, the goal of a first date is not to find “the one,” but to see if there’s potential for a deeper connection.
12. You make assumptions or jump to conclusions.
It’s easy to make snap judgments about people based on limited information, but doing so on a first date can be detrimental. Give your date a chance to reveal themselves fully before making any assumptions or conclusions about their character or intentions. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively to their responses, and be open to learning new things about them. Remember, everyone deserves a fair chance to make a good impression.
13. You don’t offer to pay or split the bill.
While traditional gender roles are evolving, offering to pay or split the bill is still a kind and considerate gesture, per Yahoo Finance. It shows that you’re not taking your date for granted and that you’re willing to contribute equally. Discuss beforehand who will be paying or if you’ll be splitting the bill to avoid any awkwardness at the end of the date. Even if your date insists on paying, offering to contribute shows good manners and consideration.
14. You don’t follow up after the date.
If you had a good time and are interested in seeing your date again, don’t be afraid to let them know. A simple text or call to say you enjoyed their company and would like to meet up again can go a long way. If you’re not interested, it’s still polite to send a brief message thanking them for the date and wishing them well. Remember, communication is key in any relationship, even in its earliest stages.
15. You try too hard to impress.
While it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward, trying too hard to impress can backfire. Be yourself and let your authentic personality shine through. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or try to fit into a mold you think your date will like. Authenticity is attractive, and your date will appreciate your genuine self more than any facade you put up. Relax, be yourself, and enjoy the experience of getting to know someone new.
