The societal pressures to “find yourself a man” and “settle down” have lessened since the 2010s, when we entered the fourth wave of feminism.
However, research still shows that women are more likely than other genders to receive pressure from their family and friends to find a romantic partner. Whether because their dads are afraid for their safety, their best friends are worried about their long-term happiness, or their moms want grandbabies, many women have to develop a unique resilience to remain steadfast in their singleness. Along with confidence and independence, women who don’t need a man to be fulfilled in life usually have these unique strengths.
1. They’re not afraid to do things alone.
One reason women don’t like being single is that they’re afraid to do things like go to the movies or eat out alone. Not only for safety reasons, but also because society shames them for being a weird loner. Of course, single women can go out with their friends, but when you’re single for a long time, it can be tiresome to always find a friend free and willing to accompany you. So you overcome the fear, pack some pepper spray, and have a great time all by yourself.
2. They’re in touch with their own masculinity.
Traditionally masculine traits like confidence, assertiveness, and boldness are key for any independent person to succeed. As a woman who chooses to remain single, you can embody these traits to avoid your loved ones being so worried about you that they insist you need a man around. The more confident and capable you are, the less other people feel like they need to protect you.
3. They’re whole, complete people all on their own.
I’m not saying that everyone in a relationship is half a person, but they do have the option to rely on their partner to help out with the housework, do the adulting tasks they don’t want to do, and be there emotionally for them whenever they need it. Single women don’t have that option. If they don’t want to rely on a partner, they have to become a fully-rounded human being capable of getting a variety of everyday adult tasks done.
4. They can (and do!) romance themselves.
Another reason women might desire a partner is their little acts of love, like buying them flowers or making them dinner. A woman who doesn’t need a partner realizes that they can do all those sweet little somethings for themselves. Just because society puts such a high value on the traditional gift-giving of romantic relationships doesn’t mean it’s not meaningful when you treat yourself. And the best part? You know exactly what you want.
5. They never feel like third wheels.
Part of being a confident, independent single woman is being comfortable in your singleness. The older you get, the fewer single friends you’re likely to have, so you develop an ease when you’re hanging out with one or two of your couple friends. There’s no reason to be jealous of their relationship status when you’re happy with yours.
6. They’re dedicated friends.
Women who don’t need a man to be fulfilled instead find fulfillment in deep and lasting friendships. The effort they would have spent on their partner, they instead spend being a dedicated friend who shows up, actively listens, and is supportive. Many women are happier when they have more emotional bandwidth to give to their friends than a partner.
7. They recharge when they’re on their own.
Not every single woman needs to be an introvert, but they do need to be comfortable with alone time. Those who feel truly fulfilled without a partner usually experience solitude as a time to recharge and fill up on themselves. Long-term single women enjoy their own company and often feel a little drained at the end of social interactions. So they make time to regularly be happily alone.
8. They love themselves.
Sometimes not having a regular partner means you don’t have someone to hug you and say they love you every day. So it’s important to develop a healthy relationship with yourself. A woman who loves herself and takes care of her own needs can be as happy, if not happier, than a person in a romantic relationship.
9. They don’t need validation from anyone else.
Often the biggest daily obstacle single women have to deal with is confusion over their continued singlehood. Many people don’t understand why everyone doesn’t want a romantic partner, and they certainly won’t applaud you for not seeking one out. Women who don’t need a man develop resilience to these questions and criticisms until they find the strength to no longer need validation for their lifestyle choices.
10. They’re not trapped by their gender.
The traditional man and woman gender roles are rather tight boxes to fit yourself into. A woman who doesn’t need a man quickly finds that she also doesn’t need gender stereotypes to have a fulfilling life. She stands up for herself, treats herself with respect, and does whatever jobs need to be done regardless of whether they are “feminine” or not. Expanding the definition of what a woman can be is extremely freeing.
11. They have a strong sense of self.
The longer a woman remains single, the better she gets to know herself. If she ultimately realizes she doesn’t need a man to be fulfilled, it’s probably because she has learned who she is and feels happy and comfortable without a “better half.” She is her better half.
12. They’re financially independent.
Rent, food, and other essentials are expensive, so the reality is that being in a couple is financially beneficial. A single person is more likely to need to live with housemates and won’t be able to go out to eat as much. A woman who chooses not to be in a partnership develops a sound financial mindset and tools to successfully navigate this expensive world.
13. They’re headstrong and opinionated.
Knowing that she doesn’t want a man is only one of many opinions a single, independent woman has. Significantly less than the majority of people know what they want. It takes difficult introspection to understand your wants and needs, so many people never know. A woman who finds fulfillment outside of romantic partnerships knows how to find fulfillment from within.
14. They may or may not be queer.
Of course, not all single women discover that they’re queer, but those who realize they don’t need a man because they’re asexual, demisexual, or somewhere else along the spectrum can be empowered by the label that finally explains their feelings. Societal norms and expectations often stifle our intuition so that we explain away our needs and desires. While many people dislike the multitude of gender and sexual labels, to the people who adopt them, they are a source of empowerment.
