Maybe you treat life like a race, constantly pushing yourself to succeed so you can “win” and one-up your friends. Or, you might be checking out what other people are doing because you’re obsessed with seeing how you measure up to their success. The result? You’re missing out on the beauty of your journey. Here are 15 reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others because it’s holding you back in life.
1. It makes you feel unnecessarily bad about your life.
When you focus on what other people are doing in their lives and find ways to compare yourself to them, you’ll feel like you’re never doing or achieving enough. It’ll seem like others are miles ahead of you, but that’s not the case. What’s really happening is that your obsessive comparisons are breeding negative thinking, preventing you from seeing everything you can achieve. Those thoughts zap your confidence, making you less likely to pursue opportunities that require a decent dose of self-assurance.
2. It makes you define yourself according to your failures.
When you constantly compare yourself to others, you often feel inferior because there’s always going to be someone who seems to be achieving more than you. This chronic comparison mindset can lead you to believe that your failures define you, even though they don’t. For example, you might dwell on a mistake at work because you see your co-worker getting praised for their success. This creates a false impression that others are winning at life, but life’s not a race! Instead, focus on what you can learn from your failures. This helps you to grow, become more resilient, and refine your path to success.
3. It makes you waste your time.
If you’re always watching what other people are achieving and how you measure up to them, you’re not doing anything constructive with your time. All those hours spent scrolling social media to see what others are up to can be put to better use by focusing on your own goals and improving yourself. Try to limit your usage of social media (and those WhatsApp chats with your boastful friends) so you don’t get caught up in all the fake perfection people are trying to sell.
4. It makes you feel stressed out.
Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead you to have a stressful and competitive mindset. You might feel pressured to be smarter, funnier, or more successful than everyone else, which can strain your relationships and make you exhausted in the impossible pursuit of perfection. In reality, trying to outdo everyone doesn’t lead to meaningful achievements. Instead of focusing on superficial appearances, concentrate on what genuinely brings you happiness and value.
5. It makes you neglect your talents.
There are some things in life you can’t change, no matter what you do. Maybe with different skills and resources, you could’ve been the next Taylor Swift or pro athlete, but stop playing the “If only…” game with yourself. Constantly comparing yourself to those who’ve made a huge impact on the world can make you feel inadequate. Instead of doing that, focus on the skills and resources you do have. Concentrate on what you can control and change to achieve your dreams, rather than what you can’t.
6. It makes you chase a lie.
When you compare yourself to others, you rarely get the full picture of their lives. This is common on social media, where everyone’s lives seem perfect. You’re only seeing a small sliver of their reality, though, and you don’t know what they’re really like or if they’re genuinely happy. Instead of trying to mimic this impossible ideal, set some benchmarks for your own success. Search for inspiration in other people’s stories, but concentrate on living your life and what makes it special.
7. It creates jealousy and resentment.
Comparing yourself to others can make you feel envious of what they’ve achieved, which can damage your relationships. For example, if you’re secretly envious of your friend’s promotion or boyfriend, you might become passive-aggressive because you can’t handle their happiness. But they’re going to feel your negative vibes. Instead of allowing negative feelings to grow and make you competitive, focus on collaborating and connecting with others. Focus on the value of relationships and happiness, instead of being obsessed with success.
8. It prevents you from feeling gratitude.
If you’re looking at other people’s success, you might focus on all the things you don’t have instead of paying attention to what you should be thankful for. Right now, you have a lot more going for you than you think, and you have many things that others would die to have. So, start a gratitude journal to focus on what blessings you possess and what you shouldn’t take for granted. When you’re grateful, you’ll find more opportunities to bring positivity—it puts you in a calm, centered mindset that teaches you the value of life.
9. It makes you lack self-acceptance.
When you’re caught in a negative cycle of comparing yourself to others, you overlook your unique qualities and abilities. This habit of measuring yourself against those you perceive as better can leave you feeling unworthy. Instead, take time to reflect on your personal progress, strengths, and positive traits. Recognize that your worth isn’t defined by your success but by your inherent value as a person. Practice mindfulness to reduce negative self-talk and treat yourself with kindness, in the same way that you would your best friend. This cultivates self-acceptance and positivity.
10. It makes you miss opportunities to grow.
Constant comparisons stifle your creativity. You might think your ideas are worthless, which causes you to imitate others, but all this does is zap your unique approach and shut down opportunities. For example, if you’re a writer, you might feel pressured to mimic the style of bestselling authors instead of developing your unique voice. Similarly, if you’re an entrepreneur, you might abandon your ideas to copy successful competitors, missing the chance to create something innovative. This inhibits your creative growth. Instead of doing that, focus on honing your own skills and talents.
11. It makes you avoid asking for help.
Sometimes you need some assistance with achieving your dreams or goals. But, if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you might feel like you have to do everything yourself because reaching out to others makes you seem weak. What it actually does is prevent you from making valuable connections that can bolster your opportunities and help you achieve your goals. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot! Start small by asking people for little favors and see how collaborating with others enables you to do more.
12. It makes you forget that everyone’s journey is different.
It doesn’t matter if someone else has achieved something you haven’t or if it seems like their journey to success has been much faster and smoother than yours. Everyone is on a different path and there are many ways to reach your goal. Try to gain some perspective by recognizing the nuances of individual circumstances and experiences. Your unique journey adds richness to your story, making your eventual success all the more meaningful.
13. It makes you think in terms of scarcity, instead of abundance.
When you see other people achieving amazing things, you might fear that not everyone can achieve success. This scarcity mindset, driven by fear and anxiety, can trap you in a cycle of comparison and self-doubt. Break free by embracing an abundance mindset. Practice gratitude for what you have, visualize your goals, and use the Law of Attraction to attract positive opportunities. Remember, success is not a limited resource and there’s plenty of it to go around!
14. It makes you focus on external factors.
The problem with comparing yourself to other people is that you become more concerned with getting other people’s approval and validation instead of focusing on your internal growth. It’s problematic when external factors such as wealth and status become the yardstick for success and happiness—if you focus solely on these, your goals won’t be in sync with your values and ambitions, and they’ll lead you further away from living the life you want.
15. It zaps your motivation.
Constantly feeling like you’re not as good as other people negatively affects you by making you feel like there’s no point in pursuing your goals because you’ll never make it. Great way to kill the vibe! Meditate regularly to center yourself and focus on what’s most important to you, while drowning out your anxious thoughts. Keep your motivation alive by focusing on why your dreams matter. No one can make them happen the way you can.
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