Dealing with someone who’s trying to undermine your competence is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s frustrating, demoralizing, and can really throw you off your game. But guess what? We’ve got some powerful phrases that’ll help you stand your ground and showcase your capabilities, all while keeping it professional.
1.”Interesting. I wonder if we’re looking at this from different angles.”
This response is a subtle way to suggest that the problem might not be your competence, but rather a difference in perspective. By using “we’re,” you’re including them in the problem-solving process, making it harder for them to criticize you. This phrase opens the door for a more in-depth discussion where you can showcase your thought process and expertise.
2. “I’ve got this. Your concern is noted, but unnecessary.”
Sometimes, a direct approach is best. This response firmly establishes your confidence and politely but clearly shuts down their attempt to undermine you. The “I’ve got this” exudes self-assurance, while “Your concern is noted” acknowledges that you’ve heard them, preventing them from accusing you of being dismissive. However, “but unnecessary” firmly closes the door to further criticism.
3. “Let’s table this for now and circle back when we have more data.”
This response is a strategic move to defer judgment until there’s more concrete information available. By suggesting to “circle back,” you’re not dismissing their concern entirely, but you’re also not allowing it to undermine your current work. This approach shows that you’re data-driven and focused on making informed decisions rather than rushing to conclusions.
4. “I appreciate your passion. How about we channel that into brainstorming solutions?”
This is a disarming technique that’s hard to argue against—after all, who doesn’t want to be seen as passionate? By suggesting brainstorming, you’re shifting the dynamic to one of collaboration. This gives the other person a chance to contribute positively rather than just critique.
5. “That’s one way to look at it. Care to explore some alternatives together?”
This response acknowledges their perspective without agreeing with it, then immediately pivots to a collaborative approach. It’s a subtle way of suggesting that their view might be limited or biased without directly saying so. By inviting them to explore alternatives with you, you’re demonstrating confidence in your ideas while also showing openness to discussion.
6. “I stand by my work. If you have specific concerns, I’m all ears.”
I stand by my work” is a clear statement that you’re not backing down or doubting yourself. However, by saying you’re “all ears” for specific concerns, you’re showing that you’re not closed off to feedback. The key word here is “specific”—it challenges them to provide concrete criticisms rather than vague comments.
7. “Hmm, that hasn’t been my experience. Mind walking me through your reasoning?”
By stating it’s not been your experience, you’re asserting your own expertise without directly challenging theirs. Asking them to walk you through their reasoning does two things: it shows you’re open to learning, and it puts the onus on them to justify their criticism. This can often reveal flaws in their thinking or highlight areas where they might be misinformed.
8. “I’m confident in my approach, but I’m curious about your reservations. What am I missing?”
This phrase makes it clear that you’re not easily swayed by unfounded criticism. However, expressing curiosity about their reservations shows that you’re not dismissive of other viewpoints, either. Asking “What am I missing?” is a powerful way to invite specific, constructive feedback.
9. “Let’s take a step back. What’s the core issue we’re trying to solve here?”
This is a great way to refocus a conversation that’s veered into personal criticism. By suggesting taking a step back, you’re creating space for a more objective discussion. This approach can be particularly effective in revealing whether the person’s concerns are genuinely about the work or if they’re motivated by personal issues.
10. “I hear your concerns. How about we set up a progress review next week?”
This is a professional way of saying, “I’m not going to address this right now, but I’m not ignoring you either.” Suggesting a progress review not only gives you time to prepare and gather evidence of your competence, but it moves the conversation from an impromptu one to something more structured.
11. “Hold that thought. Let’s revisit our project goals and see how this aligns.”
With the first part, you’re politely interrupting their undermining behavior without dismissing it entirely. In the second part, suggesting a revisit to project goals shifts the discussion from subjective opinions to pre-established facts.
12. “Fascinating perspective. How does that fit with [specific industry standard or best practice]?”
Look at you subtly asserting your knowledge of industry standards while questioning the validity of their criticism. By calling their perspective “fascinating,” you’re being polite, but you’re also implying that their view might be unconventional. This puts them in a position where they either have to justify their critique or admit that they might be off base.
13. “I appreciate your input. Let’s loop in [relevant expert or stakeholder] for their thoughts.”
This response is a diplomatic way of saying, “I don’t think you’re qualified to make that judgment.” This can be effective if the person you suggest looping in is senior to or more specialized than the critic. It shows that you’re open to feedback, but only from appropriate sources, and demonstrates your understanding of whose input is truly valuable for the project.
14. “I’m intrigued by your take. Walk me through how you’d approach this differently.”
This response flips the script by putting the critic in the hot seat. Whether this reveals that there’s a lack of substance behind their criticism or provides genuinely useful insight, you come out winning. You come across as confident enough in your own abilities to entertain other ideas, while also holding others to a high standard.
15. “Interesting. I chose this approach because [brief explanation]. What are your thoughts on that reasoning?”
The brief explanation demonstrates that your approach is thoughtful and considered, not just made up out of thin air. By then asking for their thoughts on your reasoning, you’re shifting the conversation from criticism of your work to a discussion of the logic behind it.
