Whether it’s coming from a colleague, an insecure friend, or a random internet troll, their negativity can be a real drag.
But before you let their words get under your skin, remember that their behavior says more about them than it does about you. Here’s what you can do when someone tries to throw shade your way.
1. Don’t take it personally.
Remember, their words are a reflection of their own insecurities, not your worth. Try to detach yourself from their negativity and see it for what it is: an attempt to bring you down to their level. Don’t let their words define you or shake your confidence.
2. Assess the situation and their motives.
Take a step back and try to understand why this person is trying to make you look bad. Are they jealous? Insecure? Do they have a personal vendetta against you? Understanding their motives can help you respond appropriately and avoid getting sucked into their drama.
3. Respond calmly and confidently.
Don’t let them rattle you. If they’re making accusations or spreading rumors, address them directly and calmly, Forbes advises. Provide evidence to refute their claims, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and their negativity doesn’t change the truth.
4. Don’t stoop to their level.
Resist the urge to retaliate with insults or negativity of your own. It might feel good in the moment, but it won’t solve the problem and will only make you look petty. Instead, take the high road and respond with grace and maturity. Show them that you’re not going to let their negativity bring you down.
5. Set boundaries and distance yourself.
If this person is a repeat offender, it might be necessary to distance yourself from them. You don’t have to tolerate toxic behavior in your life. Limit your interactions with them, avoid engaging in gossip or negativity, and prioritize your own well-being.
6. Surround yourself with positive people.
Spend time with people who uplift you, support you, and appreciate you for who you are. Their positive energy will help counteract the negativity from the person trying to make you look bad. Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who bring out the best in you.
7. Focus on your own goals and accomplishments.
Don’t let their negativity distract you from your own path. Keep working towards your goals, celebrating your successes, and building a life that you’re proud of. Their attempts to bring you down will only fuel your determination to succeed.
8. Don’t engage in gossip or rumors.
If other people are spreading negativity about you, don’t participate in the gossip mill. It will only add fuel to the fire and make the situation worse. Instead, focus on maintaining your own integrity by steering clear of this immature behavior.
9. Document everything.
If the situation escalates or becomes a pattern, keep a record of their behavior. This could include emails, texts, social media posts, or even notes about conversations. This documentation can be useful if you need to report their behavior to a supervisor, HR department, or even the authorities in extreme cases.
10. Talk to someone you trust.
Don’t bottle up your feelings, Verywell Mind urges. Share what you’re going through with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor. They can offer support, advice, and a listening ear. Sometimes, just talking about the situation can help you gain perspective and feel less alone.
11. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
Don’t let their negativity define you. Remind yourself of all the things you’re good at and all the things you’ve achieved. Celebrate your successes, big and small, and don’t let their words dim your shine.
12. Maintain your integrity and professionalism.
Don’t let their behavior drag you down to their level. Continue to conduct yourself with integrity, honesty, and professionalism. This will only make them look worse in comparison and show people that you’re not going to let their negativity affect your work or reputation.
13. Learn from the experience.
Every challenge we face is an opportunity for growth. Try to learn from this experience and see if there’s anything you can do differently in the future. Maybe you need to set stronger boundaries, communicate more assertively, or simply choose your battles more wisely.
14. Rise above the negativity.
Ultimately, the best way to deal with someone trying to make you look bad is to rise above their negativity. Show them that you’re not going to let their words or actions define you. Instead, focus on your own happiness, success, and well-being.
15. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
If the situation is causing you significant stress or anxiety, don’t hesitate to get professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies for coping with difficult people and situations.
16. Forgive, but don’t forget.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their behavior or letting them off the hook. It simply means releasing the anger and resentment you’re holding on to so you can move on with your life. Remember what happened, learn from it, and use it as motivation to become even stronger and more resilient.
17. Remember, you’re not alone.
Everyone experiences negativity from other people at some point in their lives. It’s a sad reality, but it doesn’t have to define you or your experiences. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and support you. Reach out to them, lean on them, and remember that you’re stronger than you think.
