Most people want the same things in a relationship—love, support, and satisfaction. However, when these needs go unmet, things can quickly go south. Dissatisfaction and emotional distance creep in and as this gap grows, it’s not uncommon to find yourself questioning whether there’s a better relationship out there for you. Before you consider throwing in the towel, there are several strategies you can use to make your relationship more satisfying.
1. Don’t demean your partner.
As time passes, it can get harder not to snap at your partner in times of stress. Seemingly small irritations may suddenly feel magnified, leading to disproportionate reactions. For instance, a habit as small as consistently forgetting to return the milk to the fridge might eventually trigger an outburst. In a moment of frustration, you find yourself berating your partner, questioning their ability to handle even simple tasks. These demeaning comments can have lasting consequences.
2. Get your partner’s favorite things.
It might seem trivial, but showing your partner that you listen to them when they talk about their favorite things makes the relationship more satisfying. When your partner reciprocates this, both parties feel satisfied and like their needs are being met. On a random Tuesday, stop at your partner’s favorite restaurant on the way home and surprise them with takeout. According to Psych Central, the little things help make love last longer.
3. Laugh as much as possible.
Does your partner have a great sense of humor? Do you consider yourself funny? One thing that helps a relationship stay satisfying is if you’re laughing a lot together. You may have the same taste in comedy and regularly watch your favorite stand-up comedians together. Or maybe your partner calls you on the way home from work to tell you about the funny things that happened to them during the day. According to Psychology Today, finding humor in the small things in life is critical to a satisfying relationship.
4. Give your partner undivided attention.
When you sit down and talk with your partner about important topics, are you distracted or do you give them your undivided attention? If you’re distracted and on your phone or watching TV while your partner is trying to communicate, they’ll feel like their emotional needs aren’t being met. A good rule of thumb: put the technology away when your partner has something to say.
5. Think of your partner at the grocery store.
Remember, a satisfying relationship is all about the small things. For example, when you stop by the grocery store on the way home from work, remember to text your partner, and ask if they need anything. It’s a small gesture that speaks volumes— it shows you’re thinking of them and care about their needs, even on a small scale.
6. Volunteer to make breakfast.
If you both have to get up early for work, you most likely don’t get the pleasure of having breakfast together. It’s rushed or on the go. However, on the weekends, it’s a totally different story. Perhaps on Saturdays, you could volunteer to make your partner pancakes or waffles. Sharing moments like this brings more satisfaction and closeness to the relationship.
7. Admit when you’re wrong.
Saying sorry is often the hardest thing to do in a relationship—especially if you feel that your partner also needs to apologize. When this happens, we find ourselves in a stalemate, waiting for the other person to make the first move. However, if you want your relationship to be more satisfying, it’s essential to lower your pride and wave the white flag. Call your partner from work, or tell them you’re sorry the minute you walk in the door. Admitting when you’re wrong goes a long way in a relationship.
8. Make time for quality time.
In the rush of daily life, it’s hard to get quality moments with your partner, especially if you both work full-time and have full social schedules. But, if you want a satisfying relationship, putting effort into it is essential. Whether it’s taking your partner out for dinner on Fridays or telling them that on Sundays, you’re going to sleep in together and then have a movie day with no distractions, making time to spend quality time with your partner will make a world of difference.
9. Leave your partner notes.
It might seem like another trivial move, but in a long-term relationship, those things count. Showing your partner that you care about them increases the satisfaction level not only on their side but yours, too. Whether leaving a note in the morning on the breakfast bar as you rush off to work or putting it under their pillow for them to find when they go to sleep, writing something kind will make them feel loved and appreciated.
10. Give your partner space.
As much as having quality time with your partner is essential, it’s also necessary to know when they need space. When you let your partner catch up with friends or explore their hobbies alone, they value the time they get with you even more. For example, you could encourage your partner to have a weekend night out with their friends. They’ll come home excited to see and spend time with you.
11. Invest in their family.
You’d be surprised how many people forget that when you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re essentially dating their family, too. If your partner’s family is essential to them, they will value your opinion of them, and vice versa. You could suggest having their parents over for dinner every Sunday or popping in to see how they are on a random weeknight. When you try to get to know their family and spend time with them, you cultivate a more satisfying relationship.
12. Ask your partner questions.
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it’s easy to forget to show interest in them. You take for granted that they know already, and as a result, they might feel unsatisfied. Whether you’re asking them about their day at work or how their relationship with their mom is right now, continuing those conversations by asking questions shows your partner you care.
13. Continue to be romantic.
Everyone is romantic at the beginning of a relationship, but the romance starts to dwindle as time passes. Everyday life sets in, and you fail to remember that your partner is not just your best friend but the love of your life. Don’t let the romance die if you want to have a satisfying relationship! Write love letters to your partner that you hide in their bag, or tell the waiter it’s your anniversary so they surprise your partner with a sweet treat.
14. Continue to grow together.
If your relationship isn’t satisfying right now, it could be because you’ve stopped growing together. Perhaps you’re stuck in a rut where neither of you is trying to get better. But improving together is a critical component of having a satisfying relationship. You could try seeing a therapist, or you could even write down your shared goals for this year and what you want out of your relationship.
15. Share everything with your partner.
Another thing that’s easy to take for granted when you’ve been with someone for a long time is their confidence. At the start, you told your partner everything, but now you assume they don’t have the time or don’t want to hear it. However, sharing everything with your partner is so important when it comes to having a satisfying relationship. Even if it’s something little like how you feel about the new gas station attendant at work, letting your partner in is necessary for a fulfilling relationship.
