If you’re reading this, chances are you’re being a bit hard on yourself. Maybe you’ve made a mistake, fallen short of your goals, or just feel like you’re not measuring up to some impossible standard. Well, grab a comfy seat, and let’s chat about how to be kinder to yourself when perfection feels out of reach.
1. Embrace the “Oops” Moments
Listen, we all mess up sometimes. It’s part of the human experience! Instead of beating yourself up, try to embrace these moments. When you make a mistake, take a deep breath and say, “Oops, that happened.” Then, give yourself a mental high-five for being human.
2. Talk to Yourself Like You’re Your Own Best Friend
Imagine your bestie came to you feeling down about a mistake they made. Would you berate them and call them names? Of course not! You’d probably offer words of comfort and encouragement. So why not do the same for yourself? Next time you’re feeling self-critical, pause and ask, “What would I say to my best friend in this situation?” Then say that to yourself.
3. Practice the Art of the “Good Enough”
Perfection is overrated (and impossible). Instead of aiming for perfect, aim for “good enough.” Did you get the important parts of the task done? Great! That’s good enough. Did you try your best given the circumstances? Awesome! That’s good enough too. Embracing “good enough” can be incredibly liberating.
4. Create a “Yay Me!” Jar
Here’s a fun one: Get a jar and some colorful paper. Every time you do something you’re proud of, no matter how small, write it down and put it in the jar. Had a tough conversation you’ve been avoiding? Yay, you! Finally folded that mountain of laundry? In the jar it goes! On tough days, pull out a few slips and remind yourself of your awesomeness.
5. Adopt a “Growth Mindset” Mantra
A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed over time. It’s the opposite of a fixed mindset, which sees these qualities as static. Create a personal mantra that embodies the growth mindset and repeat it to yourself when you’re feeling less than perfect. It could be something like “I’m learning and growing every day” or “Every challenge is an opportunity to improve.” This reminds you that perfection isn’t the goal…growth is.
6. Write a Love Letter to Your Future Self
Grab a pen and paper (or open a new note on your phone if you’re more of a digital person) and write a love letter to your future self. Pour all the compassion, understanding, and encouragement you have into this letter. What would you want your future self to know when they’re struggling? What strengths would you remind them of? Seal it up (or save it somewhere special) and read it when you’re having a tough day.
7. Create a “Ta-Da” List Instead of a “To-Do” List
We’re all familiar with the never-ending to-do list, right? It can be a constant reminder of what you haven’t accomplished yet. So here’s a twist: at the end of each day, make a “Ta-Da” list instead. Write down everything you did accomplish, no matter how small. Did you get out of bed despite feeling low? Ta-da! Did you remember to water your plants? Ta-da! This practice shifts your focus from what’s left undone to what you’ve actually achieved. It’s a great way to celebrate your daily wins and remind yourself that you’re making progress, even when it doesn’t feel like it, according to Forbes.
8. Practice Forgiveness
Holding onto past mistakes only weighs you down. Practice forgiving yourself regularly. You can even make it a ritual: Write down what you’re forgiving yourself for on a piece of paper, then tear it up or (safely) burn it as a symbol of letting go.
9. Laugh at Yourself
Humor is a powerful tool for self-kindness, according to Verywell Mind. When you make a mistake or do something embarrassing, try to find the funny side. Did you wear your shirt inside out all day? Congrats, you’ve just invented a new fashion trend! Laughing at yourself helps put things in perspective.
10. Use Positive Affirmations (That You Actually Believe)
Positive affirmations can be powerful, but only if they resonate with you. Instead of generic phrases, create affirmations that feel true and meaningful to you. “I’m doing the best I can with what I have” or “I’m growing every day” can be more effective than “I’m perfect in every way.”
11. Take Social Media Breaks
Constant exposure to carefully curated highlight reels of others’ lives can fuel feelings of inadequacy. Remember, social media isn’t real life. Take regular breaks, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, and focus on your own journey.
12. Embrace the Power of “Yet”
When you find yourself thinking “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good at that,” add the word “yet” to the end of the sentence. “I can’t do this… yet.” “I’m not good at that… yet.” This simple word opens up possibilities and reminds you that skills and abilities can be developed over time.
13. Create a Self-Care Emergency Kit
Put together a box of items that soothe and comfort you. It could include your favorite tea, a cozy blanket, a playlist of uplifting songs, or photos that make you smile. When you’re feeling down on yourself, break out your kit and give yourself some TLC.
14. Set Realistic Expectations
Are your expectations for yourself realistic? Or are they set so high that even a superhero would struggle? Take a step back and assess whether you’re asking too much of yourself. It’s okay to have high standards, but make sure they’re achievable given your current circumstances.
15. Celebrate Your Quirks
Those little imperfections and quirks? They’re what make you uniquely you! Instead of trying to change them, try celebrating them. Maybe you snort when you laugh or you’re always running five minutes late. These aren’t flaws, they’re features of your personal operating system.
