We all want to be liked and accepted by others. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we can do things that rub people the wrong way and make them instantly dislike us. From bad body language to inconsiderate behavior, these unintentional faux pas can seriously hurt your chances of making a good impression. If you want to up your likability factor, make sure you’re not guilty of these all-too-common mistakes.
1. You Don’t Make Eye Contact
Avoiding eye contact is a surefire way to make people think you’re shady, untrustworthy, or just plain rude. When you’re talking to someone, make an effort to meet their gaze in a natural, friendly way. Obviously, you don’t want to stare them down like a creep, but a little eye contact goes a long way in making you seem engaged and interested in the conversation. On the flip side, darting your eyes around or constantly looking at your phone sends the message that you’d rather be anywhere else. If you struggle with eye contact, try focusing on the person’s nose or eyebrows instead of staring directly into their soul.
2. You’re a Humblebrag
Oh, I’m so exhausted from my trip to Europe. The private jet lag is real, amirite? While it’s great to be proud of your accomplishments and experiences, constantly finding ways to slip them into conversation is a quick way to come across as braggy and insecure. Humblebragging, or masking a boast with a complaint or self-deprecating comment, is a particularly grating form of this behavior. Instead of trying to casually drop your achievements into every conversation, focus on being genuinely interested in what others have to say. And when it is appropriate to share your own successes, do it in a straightforward and humble way. Remember, true confidence speaks for itself, and people will respect you more for letting your actions do the talking.
3. You’re a Negative Body Language Queen (or King)
Your body language speaks volumes about your attitude and intentions, often louder than your actual words. Crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or constantly checking your phone sends the message that you’re closed off, disinterested, or just plain rude. On the flip side, open body language like uncrossed arms, leaning in, and nodding shows that you’re engaged and interested in the conversation. Pay attention to your nonverbal cues and make an effort to project warmth and approachability. A simple smile and friendly posture can go a long way in making people feel comfortable around you.
4. You’re Always Running Late
While you might think that showing up a few minutes behind schedule is no big deal, constantly keeping people waiting is a quick way to get on their bad side. Not only does it show a lack of respect for other people’s time, but it also sends the message that you think your time is more valuable than theirs. If you struggle with punctuality, start setting alarms, leaving earlier, and building in buffer time for unexpected delays. And if you know you’re going to be late, always give the other person a heads up and apologize profusely when you do arrive. A little consideration goes a long way.
5. You Forget People’s Names
Picture this: you’re at a party and you just got introduced to a bunch of new people. Five minutes later, you’ve already forgotten half their names. While it’s understandable to have a mental blank occasionally, consistently forgetting people’s names sends the message that you don’t care enough to remember. Make an effort to really listen when someone introduces themselves, and try repeating their name back to them in conversation. You can also try associating their name with a memorable detail about them or creating a mental image to help it stick. And if you do forget, don’t be afraid to apologize and ask them to remind you. It’s better than avoiding them for the rest of the night.
6. You’re a Know-It-All
It’s great to be knowledgeable and share your expertise, constantly correcting people or acting like you have all the answers is a quick way to come across as arrogant and unlikable. Nobody likes a know-it-all, and acting like you’re always right sends the message that you think you’re better than everyone else. Instead of always trying to prove your point, practice active listening and be open to other people’s perspectives. And if you do have information to share, do it in a humble and constructive way. Remember, there’s always more to learn, and admitting when you don’t know something is a sign of strength, not weakness.
7. You’re a Flake
While it’s understandable that plans change occasionally, constantly bailing on commitments or showing up late sends the message that you don’t value other people’s time or feelings. Not only does it make you seem untrustworthy and inconsiderate, but it also leaves people feeling frustrated and disrespected. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through and show up when you say you will. And if you do need to cancel or change plans, give the other person as much notice as possible and offer a sincere apology. Remember, your word is your bond, and people will only put up with so many broken promises before they stop trusting you altogether.
8. You’re Always on Your Phone
Being glued to your screen 24/7 is a major likability killer. When you’re with other people, put your device away and give them your full attention. Constantly checking notifications, scrolling through social media, or worse, taking calls in the middle of a conversation is just plain rude. It sends the message that whatever’s happening on your phone is more important than the person in front of you. If you absolutely must take a call or respond to a message, excuse yourself politely and keep it brief. Otherwise, keep your phone out of sight and out of mind.
9. You Interrupt People
We’ve all been there—you’re excited about something and can’t wait to chime in. But constantly interrupting people is a surefire way to get on their nerves. Not only does it make you seem rude and impatient, but it also sends the message that you don’t value what the other person has to say. Instead of jumping in at the first opportunity, practice active listening and wait for a natural break in the conversation before sharing your thoughts. And if you do accidentally interrupt, apologize and let the other person finish their thought before continuing. A little self-awareness goes a long way in avoiding this common mistake.
10. You’re Always Complaining
Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. If you’re constantly complaining about everything from the weather to your job to your love life, people are going to start avoiding you like the plague. While it’s okay to vent occasionally, making a habit of it can quickly earn you a reputation as a downer. Instead of focusing on the negative, try to find the silver lining in situations and express gratitude for the good things in your life. Not only will this make you more pleasant to be around, but it can also help shift your own mindset to a more positive place. And when you do need to complain, do it sparingly and with a solution-oriented attitude.
11. You Overshare Too Soon
Dumping all your personal drama on a new acquaintance is a quick way to make them uncomfortable and regret ever asking “How are you?” Save the heavy stuff for close friends and family, and stick to lighter topics when you’re first building a relationship. As you get to know each other better, you can gradually share more personal information, but always be mindful of the other person’s comfort level. And if you’re not sure if something is too much, err on the side of caution and keep it to yourself.
12. You’re Always One-Upping People
Oh, you went to Hawaii for vacation? Well, I went to Bali and swam with dolphins. Sound familiar? Constantly trying to one-up people is a surefire way to make them resent you. Not only does it make you seem insecure and competitive, but it also minimizes the other person’s experiences and accomplishments. Instead of always trying to top someone else’s story, practice active listening and show genuine interest in what they have to say. And when it’s your turn to share, focus on your own experiences without comparing them to others. Remember, life isn’t a competition, and there’s plenty of room for everyone to shine.
13. You’re a Personal Space Invader
We love enthusiasm and engagement in conversation, but constantly invading someone’s personal bubble is a quick way to make them uncomfortable. Everyone has different boundaries when it comes to physical space, so it’s important to be mindful of the other person’s body language and adjust accordingly. If they’re leaning away from you or crossing their arms, take a step back and give them some breathing room. And if you’re not sure how close is too close, err on the side of caution and maintain a respectful distance. Remember, personal space is called personal for a reason.
