You think the person you’re dating is a narcissist and you need to get out of the relationship. Before you take that big leap, make sure you’re ready for some harsh truths. Dating and breaking up with a narcissistic partner isn’t easy, but the sooner you leave, the faster you can heal from the toxic relationship. Ready? Let’s go! Here are 11 things you can expect from breaking up with a narcissist so you don’t fall back into the messed-up relationship.
1. Don’t Expect Them To Take Responsibility.
Narcissists never want to step up and take accountability for anything, and you probably experienced this when dating them – it might even be a reason why you realized you had to leave ASAP. So, if you’re expecting a tearful breakup in which they genuinely apologize, you’re going to have your balloon burst. Instead, they might very well try to shift the blame onto you!
2. Block Them On All Platforms.
One of the best ways to break up with a narcissist is to block them on all platforms. This might seem mean, but it’s a way to help you protect yourself, especially because they might get in touch to tell you all the ways in which you suck. Seriously, they can’t handle someone confronting them or leaving them, and you don’t need to hear all that rubbish.
3. Give Yourself A Chance To Grieve.
People might tell you that it’s so freeing that you walked away from your narcissistic ex because you can move on and be happy. While this is true, just because they were a terrible person, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to cut ties with them. A breakup always hurts! So, give yourself a chance to feel the difficult emotions and allow yourself time to grieve. Don’t be hard on yourself. The relationship was emotionally and mentally draining, and you need to give yourself some love.
4. Be Strong Enough To Deal With Their Negativity.
You’ve got to make yourself strong now so you don’t let their negativity affect you. To do this, surround yourself with people who rate you and build you up, or consult with a therapist so you can process your feelings and remember why you chose to walk away from the relationship.
5. Know They’ll Try To Make You Jealous.
One of the things that your narcissistic ex might do when you leave them is try to make you feel bad and want them back, or at least question your decision to leave them. They might tell you how they’ve moved on to someone new or share images of their new partner just to rile you up. This is another reason why blocking them is the best thing to do.
6. Reel In Your Support System.
You shouldn’t go through this breakup alone. Now’s the time to rest on your supportive friends and loved ones, who will remind you of why you need to choose yourself and leave the person. It’s easy to think that you’re the problem, especially if your ex is always trying to make you out to be the bad guy, but you’re not – and your besties will remind you of this.
7. Be Direct And Clear When Breaking Up.
When breaking up with a narcissist, it’s imperative to be clear and direct so you don’t leave anything vague or confusing. This strategy helps you to prevent them from trying to persuade you to take them back or trying to argue with what you’re saying. A narcissist can’t handle being rejected, so they might try pulling out all the stops to get you to rethink your decision. Don’t get into a lengthy conversation ’cause it’s a maddening ride with tons of twists and dead-ends.
8. Don’t Give Them Another Chance.
You’re vulnerable right now, and probably went through second-guessing yourself before breaking up with them because they’ve broken down your confidence. So, it can be easy to fall back into the relationship. Instead of trying to make you jealous or being nasty to you, your narcissistic ex might try to make you see that they’ve changed. The reality check? They haven’t. They just don’t want to be rejected.
9. Avoid Mutual Friends (For Now).
If you have some mutual friends with your narcissistic ex, it might be a good idea to avoid them for the time being. They might be friendly with both of you, which can cause confusion – especially if your narcissistic ex is using them to transmit information to you about how great they’re doing after the breakup to bring you down. Ugh.
10. Keep A List Of Their Bad Behavior.
It’s easy to look back on the relationship and wonder if you should’ve stayed, or perhaps you’re remembering the good times and forgetting about the bad. To deal with this, keep a list of all the things they did that were horrible and proved what a jerk they are. This will remind you of why you’re leaving.
11. Don’t Fall For Their Love-Bombing.
A narcissist is someone who’s very controlling and can throw on the charm to get what they want. Ugh. So, don’t be surprised if they try to love-bomb you the way they did at the start of the relationship. They might do grand romantic gestures or send you loving texts as though they want you back. But don’t fall for it. Remember that love-bombing will always lead back to abusive behavior.
