According to Psychology Today, gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that can leave you questioning your own reality. It’s confusing, frustrating, and pretty exhausting. But don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Here are things you can say when someone is trying to gaslight you.
1. “I know what I experienced.”
When someone’s trying to make you doubt your own memories or experiences, you have to stand firm. Plant your feet on the ground and say, “Nope, not budging.” It reminds both you and the gaslighter that your experiences are valid, regardless of their attempts to twist things around.
2. “My feelings are real and valid.”
According to CNBC, gaslighters will try to dismiss or belittle your emotions at all costs. By stating this, you’re asserting that your feelings matter, even if the other person doesn’t agree with them. You have the right to feel however you feel without apology.
3. “Let’s agree to disagree on this.”
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a gaslighter is to disengage from the argument. This allows you to acknowledge the difference in perspectives without giving in to their version of reality.
4. “I’m not comfortable with this conversation.”
Setting boundaries is so important when dealing with gaslighting. This clearly communicates that you’re not okay with where the discussion is heading and you’re drying a clear line in the sand.
5. “Can you explain why you see it differently?”
Turning the tables can be an effective strategy. By asking them to explain their perspective, you’re putting the onus on them to justify their version of events. It’s like holding up a mirror to their behavior, maybe even making them realize how unreasonable they’re being.
6. “I need some time to think about this.”
Gaslighters often try to pressure you into accepting their reality immediately. By taking a step back, you’re giving yourself space to process and maintain your own perspective. It’s like calling a timeout in a game that’s getting too intense.
7. “That’s not how I remember it.”
This acknowledges that there’s a discrepancy between your memories without invalidating your own. It’s a gentle way of standing your ground without inciting an all-out war.
8. “I understand that’s your perspective, but I see it differently.”
This validates their right to their opinion while firmly stating that you have your own. It’s a diplomatic approach that can help de-escalate the situation.
9. “I need to trust my own judgment on this.”
Reinforce your autonomy and right to your own thoughts and decisions! It’s a powerful way to reclaim your sense of self in the face of manipulation.
10. “Let’s stick to the facts we both agree on.”
By suggesting this, you’re trying to find common ground and move the conversation to a more objective place. It’s like trying to build a bridge between two different realities, focusing on the solid parts you both recognize.
11. “I’m not okay with you telling me how I feel or what I think.”
This directly addresses the common gaslighting tactic of telling you what your own thoughts or feelings are. It’s a clear boundary that asserts your right to have your own internal experiences.
12. “Can we involve a third party in this discussion?”
Suggesting an impartial mediator? Genius. It can be helpful, especially in ongoing relationships where gaslighting is an issue. Sometimes, you need a referee to keep things fair when the game gets out of hand.
13. “I’m not willing to argue about this anymore.”
There comes a point in every argument where it’s no longer productive. When you say this, you’re clearly closing the door and showing them that you’re not going to engage in an endless debate.
14. “Can we take a break and come back to this later?”
Allowing both parties to step away and cool down can be a good thing. It’s like hitting a reset button for the conversation, giving everyone a chance to approach the topic with fresh eyes later.
15. “Can you help me understand why this is so important to you?”
This question can sometimes reveal the underlying motivations of the gaslighter. It shifts the focus onto their behavior and may lead to a more productive conversation. Take a peek behind the curtain to see what their intentions really are.
