What we say matters, especially in a relationship. Words are so powerful that sometimes, they can make or break a relationship. If you’re trying to save your relationship, just follow the age-old rule and actually communicate. Here are 15 phrases that could end up rescuing your relationship.
1. “I appreciate you when you do this.”
For both people in a relationship, it’s essential they feel appreciated and valued. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they don’t feel like the other person takes notice of what they do for them. Saying to your partner, “I appreciate you unloading the dishwasher,” or “I appreciate you making me a coffee before I’m out of bed,” might seem trivial. Still, it can mean the difference between feeling genuinely valued and wanting to move on.
2. “I feel…”
When communicating how you feel in a relationship, it’s essential to make it about you and not the other person. Otherwise, what you say can come across as accusatory. Starting a conversation with “I feel…” lets your partner know what you’re trying to communicate with them relates to you. Instead of saying, “You’re always late home from work and don’t eat dinner with me,” you could say, “I feel sad and let down when you are late from work and don’t make an effort to be home in time to sit down to dinner with me.”
3. “How can we improve our relationship?”
It seems obvious, but if you’re at a point in your relationship where it needs rescuing, it might be time to ask your partner what they think could be improved. There’s no point walking away from it until you’ve at least tried to improve your weak spots. Approach your partner and say, “What do you think needs improving?” They’re bound to have something they’d like to bring up.
4. “I understand where you’re coming from.”
In addition to being appreciated and valued, everyone wants to be understood in a relationship. If you feel like your relationship is on the rocks right now, it could be because your partner isn’t feeling understood by you. Next time you disagree, say, “I understand your point of view on this and can see why my prioritizing work over you is frustrating.” Even though you have yet to reach a resolution, just showing that you get where they’re coming from can go a long way.
5. “What can I do to make things better?”
Often, people in a relationship go their separate ways because they’re too focused on what the other person can do for them. They forget that they need to contribute just as much to the relationship. If you and your partner are getting therapy to try to salvage your relationship, perhaps in your next session, you could ask them something like, “What can I do to improve things?” Instead of jumping into telling your partner what you need from them.
6. “I apologize for…”
Again, this is another phrase that appears obvious, but people often find it incredibly difficult to say sorry. Pride and self-preservation get in the way and become more critical than attempting to resolve things. Next time you talk to your partner about your relationship, and they bring up a past disagreement where you know you were wrong, make sure to apologize. This will go a long way in helping them see that you’re serious about bridging the gap and wanting to rescue things, Harvard Medical School explains.
7. “Can we talk about this more?”
How often have you regretted how a conversation with your partner has gone? Do you wish you could go back and do it differently and elaborate a bit to get right to the root of the problem? Another phrase that can rescue a relationship is “Can we talk about this more?” This encourages your partner to open up and share their true feelings with you. Perhaps they’ve been stressed at work lately, and you’ve been dismissive. Now, you encourage them to share how they’re feeling.
8. “I miss doing this with you.”
Looking back on your relationship with your partner can go a long way in rescuing a relationship, especially if you’re vocal about what you miss about the early days. Next time you’re with your partner, open up a conversation with, “I miss when we used to meet up after work on Fridays and have a drink together; we should do that more.” This will encourage you to spend time together and help rekindle some of the old feelings you once harbored for one another.
9. “I value you being in my life because…”
When you’re in a relationship with someone for a long time, it’s easy to get comfortable and too complacent. You can take advantage of the fact that your partner knows how you feel about them when they might want to hear this more often. Next time you have dinner together, try saying, “I value you in my life because you make me feel loved and safe, and I know I can be my genuine, authentic self around you.” This will remind them of how you feel about them and show them that you genuinely care.
10. “We’re stronger when we’re together.”
If you’ve been going through a rough patch lately with your partner and don’t know if it will last, you might spend more time focusing on the bad than the good. However, if you want to rescue your relationship, you must remember that you and your partner are stronger together than apart at the end of the day. You know you’re the perfect team when tackling what life throws at you, from job losses and friendship issues to car breakdowns and family losses. Remind your partner that you believe you’re “stronger when we’re together.”
11. “I trust you because…”
Trust is another hallmark of a great relationship, and if your relationship is on the rocks, there might be a limited amount of trust there right now. Perhaps your partner has done something to break your trust, and you’re struggling to regain it. This could be an excellent time to think of the areas where you trust your partner. Broach the subject by saying, “I trust you because you always listen to me when I need to talk to you about something,” or “I trust you always to have my back when we’re out, and I’m feeling socially drained.”
12. “Let’s tackle our issues together.”
While you might be struggling in your relationship right now, it could be because you feel like you’re going it alone. Perhaps you feel like your partner isn’t pulling their weight and doesn’t seem too interested in salvaging anything. “Let’s face our issues together” could be the perfect wake-up call for your partner to encourage them to work with you on everything you’re facing. Perhaps they feel like you aren’t there for them emotionally, but they won’t talk about it. Encourage them to help you improve on this so that you can be a team again.
13. “I believe in our ability to make it.”
Things might not be going so well in your relationship right now because one or both of you might not firmly believe in your ability to make it. You want to, but the signs aren’t there. Sit down with your partner, remind them of everything you’ve already gone through as a couple, and say, “I believe that we’re going to make it and be okay.” This will help set in motion the practical steps you need to take toward resolution.
14. “I have things I need to work on.”
Self-awareness is key in any relationship, especially one that needs rescuing. If you feel like you’ve done nothing wrong and it’s all on the other person, this could end badly. Take your partner by the hand and say, “I know there are things I need to work on, like telling you how I feel and not relying on white lies to avoid confrontation.” Showing your partner that you’re willing to improve yourself will encourage them to work on themselves, too.
15. “I love you.”
Reminding your partner that you love them is the most apparent yet powerful phrase that could rescue your relationship. Maybe it’s been a while since you communicated this; perhaps they are under the impression that the love has gone from your side. Whether through text, over the phone, or when you see them next, saying “I love you” could be the difference between your partner walking out and staying to fight for your relationship.
