Ever felt like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around someone, unsure of what might set them off?
Or, maybe you find yourself doubting your own feelings and perceptions after interacting with them. These could be subtle signs that you’re being emotionally manipulated. Emotional manipulation is a sneaky tactic that can leave you feeling confused, drained, and even questioning your own sanity. It’s often subtle and disguised, making it hard to pinpoint what’s really going on. But by recognizing the signs, you can empower yourself to stop it in its tracks and reclaim your sense of self.
1. They make you feel guilty for expressing your needs or opinions.
One of the most common tactics of emotional manipulators is to make you feel guilty for voicing your needs, opinions, or concerns, Healthline warns. They might use phrases like “If you really loved me, you would…” or “I’m so disappointed that you…” to make you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being. This can lead you to suppress your own feelings and needs to avoid conflict or disapproval.
2. They twist your words and actions to make you look bad.
Emotional manipulators are experts at distorting reality to fit their own narrative. They might twist your words, misinterpret your actions, or even accuse you of things you never did. This can make you doubt your own memory and perception of events, leading you to question your own sanity and judgment.
3. They use your insecurities against you.
Emotional manipulators are skilled at identifying and exploiting your vulnerabilities. They might use your insecurities to undermine your confidence, make you feel dependent on them, or manipulate you into doing things you wouldn’t normally do. This can be especially damaging if you’re already struggling with low self-esteem or self-doubt.
4. They play the victim.
Emotional manipulators often cast themselves as the victim, even when they are the ones causing the problems. They might blame you for their misfortunes, exaggerate their own suffering, or try to elicit your sympathy and support. This can make you feel responsible for their happiness and well-being, even when it’s not your responsibility.
5. They give you the silent treatment.
Withholding communication is a powerful tool of emotional manipulation. It can leave you feeling anxious, confused, and desperate for their attention. Emotional manipulators might use the silent treatment to punish you, control your behavior, or make you feel like you’re the one who needs to apologize or make amends.
6. They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Emotional manipulators create an atmosphere of tension and unpredictability. You might never know what to expect from them, leaving you constantly on edge and afraid to say or do the wrong thing. This constant fear can be exhausting and debilitating, leaving you feeling powerless and controlled.
7. They make you doubt your own sanity.
Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional manipulation, where someone makes you question your own reality. Emotional manipulators might deny things they said or did, blame you for their own actions, or accuse you of being “crazy” or “imagining things.” This can leave you feeling confused, disoriented, and doubting your own sanity.
8. They use love and affection as a weapon.
Emotional manipulators might shower you with love and affection when they want something from you, then withdraw it as soon as they get what they want. This can leave you feeling insecure, anxious, and desperate for their approval. It can also make it difficult to leave the relationship, as you might fear losing their love and affection forever.
9. They isolate you from your friends and family.
Emotional manipulators often try to isolate you from your support system, making you more dependent on them. They might criticize your loved ones, plant seeds of doubt about their intentions, or create situations that make it difficult for you to spend time with them. This isolation can leave you feeling alone and vulnerable, making it harder to recognize and resist their manipulation.
10. They undermine your achievements and goals.
Instead of celebrating your successes, emotional manipulators might downplay your achievements or make you feel like they’re not a big deal. They might criticize your goals, question your abilities, or make you feel like you’re not good enough. This can chip away at your self-confidence and make you more reliant on their approval and validation.
11. They use guilt trips and emotional blackmail.
Emotional manipulators often use guilt trips and emotional blackmail to get what they want, Psychology Today notes. They might remind you of past favors, threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t comply, or make you feel responsible for their happiness. This can make you feel trapped and obligated to meet their demands, even if it goes against your own wishes and needs.
12. They constantly change the rules and expectations.
Emotional manipulators can be incredibly inconsistent, changing their expectations and rules without warning. This can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and unsure of what to expect. You might constantly feel like you’re failing to meet their standards, no matter how hard you try.
13. They deflect and avoid taking responsibility.
When confronted about their behavior, emotional manipulators will often deflect and avoid taking responsibility. They might blame you, other people, or external circumstances for their actions. They might also minimize your feelings, accuse you of being oversensitive, or simply change the subject. This can make it incredibly frustrating and difficult to resolve conflicts or hold them accountable.
14. They make you feel like you’re the one who’s being unreasonable or difficult.
Emotional manipulators are masters at turning the tables and making you feel like you’re the one who’s being unreasonable, difficult, or even crazy. They might gaslight you, accuse you of overreacting, or dismiss your concerns as invalid. This can leave you doubting your own perceptions and feeling like you’re the one who needs to change.
How to Stop Emotional Manipulation In Its Tracks
If you recognize these signs in someone you know, it’s important to set boundaries and protect yourself from their manipulation. This might involve limiting contact, assertively communicating your needs and boundaries, or seeking support from a therapist or trusted friend. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and to have your feelings and needs validated. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your own worth or reality.
