We all do annoying things sometimes while chatting, but if the rude behaviors on this list are your regular go-tos, you might want to rethink a few things. Being a good conversationalist makes people actually enjoy being around you. Fixing these bad habits is a major level-up for your social life, and you’ll find that you have way better conversations (and social interactions as a whole) as a result.
1. Constantly checking your phone while someone is talking
Even if just a quick glance, checking your phone mid-conversation sends the message that you don’t think what the person is saying is worth your full attention. We all need to use our phones, but during a face-to-face chat, give the person your focus. Let them know you truly value what they’re saying, and your text can wait those few minutes.
2. Interrupting people before they’ve finished their thought
Enthusiasm is great, but cutting someone off is rude! It makes them feel like you don’t care about their input and that you’re only waiting for your turn to talk. If you have something to add, jot it down mentally to bring up when they’re actually done speaking. Meaningful conversations are all about equal exchange, Entrepreneur explains, so try not to be such a conversational narcissist all the time.
3. Turning every conversation back to yourself
They tell a story about their work drama, and you immediately launch into one about how your job is worse. This isn’t sharing; it’s hijacking the conversation. People enjoy feeling heard, not constantly one-upped. Instead of turning everything back to you, offer sympathy, support, or even just a sounding board. Realize that not everything is about you!
4. Giving unsolicited advice
Unless someone expressly asks for advice, keep it to yourself! When someone vents, they often want to be heard, not have you fix their problems. Throwing out premature solutions can feel dismissive of their feelings. If you’re that desperate, you can ask, “Do you want advice, or just need to vent?” first.
5. The dreaded humblebrag
Disguising bragging as self-deprecation is still bragging. “Ugh, so annoyed I have to redecorate the vacation home…” No one is fooled — you’re trying to make people jealous, and it’s actually kinda sad. Own your good fortune with gratitude, or don’t bring it up at all!
6. Not being able to read social cues
If someone keeps checking their watch or their responses are getting shorter, they’re likely ready to wrap up the conversation. Forcing it continues makes you seem oblivious, not engaging. Respect people’s time and energy levels. And hey, try not to take it personally — it may have nothing to do with you!
7. One-word replies to texts that clearly warrant a more thoughtful response
“K” in response to a friend’s excited message = dismissive. We get busy, but if you care about the relationship, put a tiny bit of effort into your replies. This goes for social media comments too; a single emoji isn’t much of a conversation. If people feel like they’re talking to a brick wall when they reach out to you, don’t be surprised when they stop trying altogether.
8. Bringing up overly personal topics with people you barely know
Oversharing about health issues, relationship drama, or any other personal stuff with a casual acquaintance is off-putting. Vulnerability should be reserved for those you trust. Bonds take time to build; don’t expect a stranger to hold space for emotional intensity they didn’t sign up for. In reality, they’ll probably think you’re a bit weird and too intense, and they might avoid you moving forward.
9. “Correcting” people on unimportant details
They mispronounced a word, or got a minor fact wrong in their story — so what? Let it go. Constantly nitpicking makes you seem obsessed with proving you’re smarter, not actually interested in the conversation. Unless it’s truly important info, chill.
10. Dominating group conversations
Some people get nervous in groups and go quiet, so it’s good to be outgoing! But if you’re talking way more than everyone else, that’s a problem. Make space for other people by asking questions, giving them opportunities to contribute. Again, it’s not all about you!
11. Always having to have the last word
Sometimes debates are fun, of course, but if every single interaction turns into you needing to prove your point even on minor things, it becomes exhausting for everyone else. Learning to agree to disagree is a sign of maturity.
12. Name-dropping to seem important
Nobody cares if your cousin’s neighbor’s hairdresser once met a kind of famous person. Trying to impress people via tenuous connections to fame makes you seem insecure, not cool. Let your own personality and accomplishments shine through.
13. Gossiping and talking negatively about people who aren’t there
It might be juicy in the moment, but it makes you look petty and immature, and it destroys people’s ability to trust you. If you do it about them, who’s to say you won’t do the same to the person you’re talking to the second they walk away? Focus on positive things to discuss. It’s a more attractive vibe.
14. Making jokes at other people’s expense
Knowing someone’s sensitive about a topic and poking at it anyway isn’t teasing, it’s bullying. Humor’s great, but should be lighthearted, not deliberately aimed to wound. If someone expresses that a joke hurt, apologize sincerely, don’t double down.
15. The reply-all apocalypse
Hitting “reply all” on an email chain where it’s unnecessary is the corporate equivalent of auditory torture. Respect people’s inboxes! Only do this if your response truly is relevant to everyone on the thread, The New York Times advises.
16. Not listening carefully, then asking questions that were just answered
This makes the speaker have to repeat themselves, which is frustrating! It also proves you don’t genuinely care what they’re saying. If you zone out, own it! “Sorry, I missed that, could you say it again?” is better than making them waste their breath.
17. Stonewalling and refusing to talk during disagreements
Every relationship has arguments and disagreements sometimes, but becoming a blank wall shuts down resolution. It’s okay to need a moment to cool off, but say that! “I’m feeling overwhelmed, can we discuss this later today?” is way better than freezing someone out.
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