Everyone’s a little self-centered, but it’s all about degrees. Some people take being selfish, insensitive, and ungracious to a whole new level, and it can be really frustrating dealing with these kinds of people. There are times when you may find it hard to tell if someone is an inconsiderate person or if you’re misinterpreting their words and actions. So how do you know if they’re guilty of being too self-absorbed? Look out for these 16 things that inconsiderate people are fond of saying repeatedly.
1. “Nobody owes you anything.”
This is a cop-out that inconsiderate people use to avoid being held accountable for failing to live up to normal expectations in social relationships. They make it sound like it’s absurd to want them to support your endeavors or have your back when you’re going through a difficult time. The truth is that they’re too selfish to show up for you because they only care about what they can get from others, not what they can give.
2. “It’s not a big deal.”
When they keep you waiting for hours and fail to send even a text message letting you know that they’ll be running late, it’s not a big deal. When they leave a mess all over the apartment and fail to clean it up, it’s not a big deal. As long as they’re not the ones being inconvenienced or feeling hurt, they’ll minimize the effect of their actions and dismiss any valid reactions you may have, Everyday Health notes.
3. “Your feelings have nothing to do with me.
Inconsiderate people love to act like their behaviors don’t have real-world consequences. If they say something that hurts you, that’s your business; order thicker skin next time around. They’re unwilling to take responsibility for the way the things they do impact you. In their mind, you’re the one with control over your feelings, not them. So if you’re mad about something, that’s your fault.
4. “Learn to take a joke.”
Saying mean or insensitive things in a funny way doesn’t make them less hurtful. An inconsiderate person might blurt something without thinking about how it’ll be received. And when you take offense, they’ll wriggle out of apologizing or just accepting that what they said was in poor taste by insisting that they were just poking fun at you.
5. “I’m sorry you’re mad.”
Because an inconsiderate person rarely takes the time to go over their actions and understand how they might have wronged you even without meaning to, they never see anything wrong with their behavior. So rather than apologize sincerely by admitting the error of their ways, they’ll say something that sounds like an apology but isn’t.
6. “My needs are more important than yours.”
Even if that is measurably true, it’s never a good idea to invalidate people’s needs. However, in a bid to get their way, self-centered people will not hesitate to make their needs seem superior or paramount to yours. They don’t care if it makes you feel small or unimportant as long as their desires come first.
7. “I forgot. I’m sorry.”
It’s the same excuse every time: when they forget your birthday or an anniversary, when they don’t send a file, and you end up missing a crucial deadline, or when they fail to do something after giving you their word. They act like they’re the only ones with stuff on their mind, juggling multiple responsibilities. Other people manage to keep their promises and show up for the things that matter regardless of their schedule, why can’t they?
8. “Take a chill pill.”
It doesn’t matter whether you’re freaking out because of something they did or a random event that occurred, an inconsiderate person won’t hesitate to tell you to calm down, implying that you’re overreacting. They won’t apologize, try to soothe you, offer some comfort, or even practical solutions to help you overcome the situation.
9. “I don’t care. Let’s talk about something else.”
Inconsiderate people are often self-absorbed, which means they tend to act like the world revolves around them. You could be talking about something important to you, like the moves you’re considering making in your career or an issue you’re having with your neighbors, and they’d shut you down because they don’t find the topic stimulating. They won’t politely let you air what’s on your mind. You either engage their interest when speaking or be forced to change the subject.
10. “You’re never going to make it.”
A thoughtless person doesn’t mind turning your dreams to dust simply because they don’t believe in your abilities or your capacity to create the life you talk about. They’d recklessly dismiss your ambitions as if they have the power to see the future and determine for certain that you’re wasting your time chasing after a goal.
11. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”
Another thing that inconsiderate people say is that you’re not entitled to an explanation from them. They’d rather leave you in the dark, perplexed and worried, than take a few minutes out of their day to set the record straight. They how important clarity can be, but they just don’t care enough about your feelings to be direct with you.
12. “Why can’t you be more like (someone else).”
If someone is comparing you to someone else, that’s a telltale sign that they’re an inconsiderate person. A person who takes other people’s feelings into account and truly cares about you will not resort to using someone as a standard of measurement against you. They’ll find positive ways to motivate and inspire you to change if their goal is to build you up, not cut you down.
13. “Hate to say I told you so.”
Inconsiderate people are “I told you so” merchants. When you make a mistake, they’re quick to add insult to injury by throwing it in your face. They won’t think twice about using that opportunity to remind you of their wisdom and why you should have listened to them. Rather than helping you get back up, they’ll kick you while you’re down while giving themselves a self-aggrandizing pat on the back.
14. “I just tell it like it is.”
An inconsiderate person will use this phrase or similar ones as a cover to dish out harsh and hurtful remarks without a care for how it might bruise your feelings. They consider their right to say whatever they’re thinking to be far more important than how they say it or the way you take it. They could pass their message across tactfully while remaining honest, but that’d require caring about someone other than themselves. They rather just tell it like it is, your feelings be damned.
15. “Can’t help. I’ve got a lot on my plate.”
Inconsiderate people are usually reluctant to offer help to anyone. If you ask them to do you a favor, no matter how little, you’d be met with resistance or even outright refusal. They’re always too busy to lend a hand because they don’t care how much stress you’re under or think about how meaningful a simple gesture like that can be to you.
16. “Why do I have to be the one to compromise?”
One realization you’ll come to when talking to an inconsiderate person is that they’re chronically inflexible. They’re never willing to endure even the slightest discomfort for the benefit of someone else. There’s nothing like compromising in their book. It’s either they have it their way or nothing, time and time again. You can’t get them to see reason unless you can show that they stand to gain something if they bend a little.
