Men, if you’re using any of these 18 phrases, it’s time for a serious reality check. These cringe-worthy statements reveal a lack of self-awareness at best, and blatant sexism or immaturity at worst. They need to be retired from your vocabulary immediately. No excuses, no defensiveness — it’s time for some honest reflection and a commitment to do better.
1. “I’m a nice guy, but women always friend-zone me.”
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Women don’t owe you romantic interest for basic human decency, pal. Being nice is the bare minimum. Focus on being a genuinely good person without expectations. Develop your personality, interests, and social skills. True kindness is given freely, not as a manipulation tactic. Friendship isn’t a consolation prize — value it for its own merits. Work on your self-esteem instead of projecting bitterness, Mayo Clinic suggests.
2. “I’m an alpha male.”
Humans aren’t wolves — we don’t need to dominate others to thrive. Calling yourself an alpha signals insecurity, not strength. Real confidence is quiet and earned through character, not declared through juvenile labels. Focus on being a well-rounded person with integrity, empathy, and respectful assertiveness. A secure man doesn’t need to constantly remind others of his status.
3. “That’s just locker room talk.”
Degrading women behind closed doors still normalizes misogyny, even if they don’t hear it. Men who respect women talk about them the same way, regardless of the setting or audience. Find healthier ways to bond with other men that don’t treat women as conquests or punchlines. Recognize that your words shape your attitudes and have real impact. Aim higher.
4. “You’re not like other girls.”
Women aren’t a monolith — people of all genders contain multitudes. She’s not special for having interests and personality traits beyond stereotypes. “Other girls” aren’t inferior. This isn’t a compliment, it’s benevolent sexism. If you think her qualities are rare, expand your narrow view of women. Appreciate her as a unique person without implying she’s an exception to her gender. Let women be multifaceted.
5. “You’re too emotional.”
Emotions aren’t shameful — they’re human. Men have them too but are socialized to suppress them. Labeling others as ‘too emotional’ dismisses their perspectives. Listen to understand, not to label. Consider why they feel strongly. Discuss the issue, not their reaction to it. Show empathy even if you disagree. Vulnerability takes strength. Let yourself and others experience the full spectrum of emotions.
6. “Boys will be boys.”
This phrase excuses male misbehavior as inevitable instead of holding them accountable. “Boys” are capable of maturity and control, just like girls. Set higher standards. Teach boys emotional intelligence, respect, and consequences. Being male doesn’t mean being impulsive or insensitive by nature. Lazily gendering bad behavior sells everyone short. Expect better from the boys and men in your life, starting with yourself.
7. “I was just joking — don’t be so sensitive.”
Intent doesn’t erase impact. Just because you meant it as a joke doesn’t mean others must find it funny. Apologize for and learn from your mistakes instead of doubling down when you cross a line. Listen if people tell you you’ve offended them — that’s valuable feedback, not an overreaction. Adjust your humor to be clever, not cruel. Respect others’ boundaries.
8. “She was asking for it dressed like that!”
It’s a bit “stating the obvious,” but as Huffington Post points out, a person’s clothing never invites harassment or assault. No exceptions. A skimpy outfit isn’t consent. This dangerous myth shifts blame away from predators and onto those they target. Call it out whenever you hear it. Focus on teaching people not to assault others instead of policing victims’ self-expression. Hold attackers fully accountable for their own actions. Recognizing clothing as irrelevant is a basic step in combating rape culture.
9. “I’m a guy — I have needs.”
You’re an adult with self-control — not a mindless animal ruled by instinct. Framing physical intimacy as a “need” you’re entitled to is toxic. Your partner isn’t a vending machine for physical release. Treat intimacy as a collaborative experience, not a personal necessity you use others to fulfill. Manage your urges yourself or find a willing partner. No means no, no matter what. Your arousal doesn’t outweigh their autonomy.
10. “I forgot our anniversary, but she should know I love her.”
Words and gestures matter. Assuming she knows you care doesn’t replace showing it consistently. Romance takes ongoing effort, not just grand declarations. Find out what makes her feel loved and do it proactively. Set reminders for key dates. The little things add up. Actively appreciate her. Invest in learning her ‘love languages’. Relationships involve give and take. Pull your weight. Step up.
11. “We’ll have to ask the boss” (when referring to your wife/partner)
Infantilizing yourself to paint your wife as a ball and chain is immature. Marriage requires compromise, but framing it as her “allowing” you to do things breeds resentment. You’re an autonomous adult, even within a partnership. Let your no mean no. Present your relationship as unified teammates when involving others in plans, not a power struggle. If it feels that imbalanced behind the scenes, go to couple’s counseling before your issues become her punchline.
12. “Women are crazy.”
This lazy stereotype paints women as irrational to dismiss their concerns. If she seems “crazy,” look inward. Is she reacting to your inconsistent behavior? Poor communication? Unresolved relationship issues? Even if the connection isn’t apparent, her feelings come from somewhere valid. Instead of trivializing them, seek to understand with empathy. Ask questions. Reflect on your role. Most “craziness” is a response to frustrating dynamics. Address the root, not the symptom.
13. “Why do I have to pay for the first date?”
You asked her out, you choose the price range. Graciously treat when you initiate early on. If ongoing dates are out of your budget, suggest free activities or cheap eats. Have an honest discussion about finances before assumptions take root. In established relationships, find a balance that works for you both — trade off, split costs, or match your relative means. Just don’t spring the tab on her unannounced when the bill comes — that’s tacky.
14. “You’re being hysterical.”
This term has misogynistic roots in oppressing and pathologizing women. It’s been used to write off their valid concerns as irrational, overly emotional, even clinically insane. Using it shows ignorance at best, sexism at worst. If her reaction seems outsized, get curious, not dismissive. What’s the more profound issue? Respond with compassion. Let her have and express feelings without policing their validity. Choose words that engage, not enrage.
15. “I won’t buy tampons — that’s her job.”
Periods are a basic biological fact, not a shameful secret. Tampons aren’t scary — they’re cotton and cardboard. Half the population menstruates. Time to normalize it. Help your partner out without immature hangups. Buy them yourself. Keep a stash in your bathroom for guests. Educate yourself on the process and products. Menstrual care is costly and constant. The least you can do is pick up a box at the store. Man up.
16. “I have to babysit the kids.”
They’re your children, not a neighbor’s hamster. Watching them solo isn’t a favor, it’s parenting. Take responsibility with enthusiasm, not martyrdom. Bond with them. Develop your own traditions and inside jokes. If it feels unfamiliar, lean in and learn the ropes, don’t abdicate and complain. Step up so your partner can pursue her own interests, guilt-free. You helped create them. Embrace raising them as an active, equal partner.
17. “My wife’s not the boss of me.”
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Then stop acting like a rebellious teenager. Defensively asserting your independence just proves you feel controlled. Healthy relationships involve open dialogue and compromise, not a constant power struggle. If you’re feeling stifled, examine why. Does she set reasonable boundaries you resist? Are you acting out to avoid more profound issues? Address the root cause like adults, don’t deflect with flippant declarations. Words matter. Choose them wisely.
18. “I’m not sexist, but…”
Anything that follows this phrase will be sexist nine times out of ten. Not just blatantly misogynistic, but subtly biased in a way you clearly recognize as problematic, or you wouldn’t feel the need to qualify it. Catch yourself and reflect on the underlying assumptions informing your words. No one’s immune from societal conditioning. Do the work to unlearn it instead of excusing or denying it. Your preface changes nothing. Rethink the “but.”
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