Your time and energy are precious resources. You wouldn’t keep pouring money into a business that’s consistently losing you cash, right? So why do we often do that with our friendships? Now, before you start unfriending everyone, take a pause. This is just an opportunity to step back and really look at the people you’re surrounding yourself with. Alright, so let’s talk about the friends you might want to consider showing the door if you’re aiming for a happier, healthier life.
1. The one who won’t stop complaining
We all need to vent sometimes, but this friend takes it to a whole new level. Every conversation is a list of complaints, from the weather to their job to the barista who didn’t smile at them this morning. Negativity is contagious, and constantly being around someone who sees the worst in everything can seriously dampen your own outlook. If you find yourself feeling drained after every interaction, it might be time to distance yourself from this Debbie Downer.
2. The one who never seems to be happy for you
They can’t genuinely celebrate your successes because they’re too busy feeling threatened by them. Every accomplishment of yours is met with backhanded compliments or attempts to one-up you. A true friend should be your biggest fan, not someone who makes you feel guilty. If you find yourself downplaying your successes to avoid their reaction, it’s time to walk away.
3. The one who could star in a soap opera
This friend thrives on conflict and seems to attract (or create) dramatic situations wherever they go. While a little excitement can be cute, constantly being embroiled in someone else’s drama is exhausting. If you find yourself always playing mediator or getting sucked into conflicts that have nothing to do with you, it might be time to say “ciao.”
4. The one who never shows up
They’re always making plans…and then always canceling at the last minute. Or worse, they just don’t show up without explanation. While life can get busy and things come up, according to Psych Central consistently flaky behavior shows a lack of respect for your time and energy. If you’re constantly left hanging or rearranging your schedule to accommodate someone who doesn’t return the favor, say bye-bye.
5. The one who sucks the life out of everything
They’re constantly in need of support, advice, or a shoulder to cry on, but they never seem to have anything left to give in return. While it’s important to be there for our friends, relationships should have a healthy balance of give and take. If you’re constantly exhausted after spending time with someone, with nothing positive to show for it, it might be time to invest your energy elsewhere.
6. The one who judges everything you do
This friend has an opinion about everything—and it’s usually not a positive one. They’re quick to criticize your choices, from your career moves to your dating life to what you ordered for lunch. While constructive feedback from friends can be great, constant judgment is toxic. A good friend should support your decisions and offer advice when asked, so if you’re always on the defensive around someone, you know the drill.
7. The one who claims to do it better
While a little healthy competition can be motivating, constantly feeling like you’re in a game of one-upmanship is exhausting. True friends celebrate each other’s successes without needing to overshadow them. If every conversation feels like a competition you can’t win, it might be time to gracefully bow out of this friendship.
8. The one who’s here one minute, gone the next
They’re front and center for celebrations and parties but nowhere to be found when you need a shoulder to cry on or help moving apartments. Also known as the fair weather friend, according to Psychology Today. Not every friend needs to be your ride-or-die, but consistently only showing up for the fun parts of friendship is a red flag. True friendship involves being there through thick and thin.
9. The one who’s stuck in the past
This friend takes nostalgia to a new level, whether it’s high school glory days or an old version of you that no longer exists. They’re resistant to change and might try to hold you back from personal growth or new experiences. While it’s nice to have friends who knew the old you, true friends should support your evolution and growth.
10. The one who never says what they really mean
Instead of expressing their feelings directly, they rely on subtle digs, backhanded compliments, and the silent treatment to communicate their displeasure. If you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells or trying to decode hidden messages, it might be time to find some more straightforward friendships.
11. The one who’s always the victim
No matter what happens, it’s never this friend’s fault. They’re always the victim of circumstances, other people’s actions, or just bad luck. Being around someone who never takes responsibility for their own life can be draining and frustrating. You’re not their rescuer and if they don’t change, I think it’s time to save yourself.
12. The one who makes you feel guilty
“I guess you’re too busy for me,” or “I remember when you used to care” are common phrases in their arsenal. While it’s normal to feel disappointed sometimes, consistently using guilt as a tool to control others is toxic. If you often find yourself doing things you don’t want to do just to avoid feeling guilty, it’s time to break free.
13. The one who can’t help but gossip
Sure, a little harmless gossip can be fun, but someone who constantly talks behind others’ backs is bad news. Not only is it negative and potentially hurtful, but it also begs the question: what are they saying about you when you’re not around? It might be time to stop the rumor mill and step away.
14. The one disappears without explanation
While it’s normal for people to get busy or go through phases where they’re less social, consistently disappearing and reappearing without acknowledgment or explanation can be hurtful. If you’re constantly wondering where you stand with someone or feeling like you’re always starting the friendship over from scratch, it might be time to let ’em go.
15. The one who doesn’t understand boundaries
They might show up unannounced, share your secrets without permission, or pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with. While close friendships involve a certain level of intimacy, everyone has the right to set and maintain healthy boundaries. If someone consistently ignores your limits or makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to draw a line.
