“I’m Fine” & 14 Other Things People Say When They’re Actually Struggling

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Someone who’s struggling with something like mental health issues or stress might try to avoid talking about it. Perhaps they feel that others won’t understand them or they feel guilty to off-load all their trauma onto someone else. So, instead of expressing themselves, they use one of these 15 phrases instead.

1. “I’m fine.”

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Saying “I’m fine” has become a common reply for people to use when they don’t want to talk about their problems. Someone they bump into at the grocery store or at a restaurant might ask how they’re doing and they’ll reply with, “I’m fine,” even if they’re not. It shuts down conversation, while still being polite. They simply don’t want to receive further questions that make them feel uncomfortable.

2. “Good, but how are you?”

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Another way for someone who’s struggling but wants to avoid talking about their issues is to say they’re good but then ask the other person how they’re doing. They might be hoping that the other person will take the bait and talk about themselves for a bit, which will get them off the hook. They’re skilfully trying to dodge being put on the spot so they don’t have to reveal their real feelings.

3. “I’m surviving.”


There’s no doubt that someone who says they’re “surviving” is clearly going through something big and stressful. Maybe they can’t fake being fine, so they’re letting the other person know that times are tough right now. But, they don’t want to elaborate. They might be giving the other person enough to go on without drama-dumping on them. If the other person cares enough to ask them follow-up questions, then they might be okay with spilling what’s on their mind.

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4. “I don’t feel well.”

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Someone who’s struggling or having a bad day might use the excuse of not feeling well so that they don’t have to talk about their real issues. This can help them keep their personal problems private, while also getting alone time. The other person will assume they’re referring to a physical ailment, so they’ll back off. They might be too courteous to query further.

5. “It’s too much.”

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When someone remarks that life is “too much,” they’re implying that they’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe they’re going through a lot of stress or their negative emotions are accumulating, making them feel the pressure. They might also use this phrase as a way to explain that they lack the resources or support they need to navigate their challenging situation.

6. “I’m just tired.”

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Someone who’s dealing with something stressful in their life might feel like they’re physically or emotionally exhausted. But, they might not feel equipped to express their deeper struggles. Saying “I’m just tired” might be an easier, more general, way for them to reply when someone asks, “Are you okay?” They don’t have to get into how they’re really feeling if they don’t want to, which can be a burden sometimes.

7. “I can’t sleep.”

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It’s easy to assume that someone who struggles to sleep is dealing with insomnia alone, but this isn’t necessarily the case. Difficulty sleeping can be a symptom of underlying issues, such as anxiety, depression, burnout, or stress. The person hasn’t said that they struggled to sleep last night, but instead seem to be having this problem a lot. This also points to a deeper problem they don’t want to get into.

8. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

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When you ask someone how they’re doing with a problem or challenge, they might say, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Although this sounds like they’ve got everything under control, they might be stressing. It’s their way of coping or trying to deal with the situation, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re taking it all in stride.

9. “Others are going through much worse.”


If the person is going through a difficult time in life or is suffering from mental health struggles, they might try to make themselves feel better with a phrase such as, “Others are going through much worse.” By comparing their difficulties to those of others who are facing more severe challenges, the person might be attempting to downplay their struggles. Perhaps they feel guilty or ashamed for feeling overwhelmed by their problems.

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10. “I can’t focus.”

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If someone’s dealing with stress or anxiety, they might struggle to concentrate. They’re so preoccupied with their concerns or worries that it makes it difficult for them to dedicate energy to other tasks. They might also be dealing with a lack of motivation, such as if they’re depressed. This could cause them to struggle to give tasks or goals their undivided attention.

11. “Eh, life, you know!”

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Someone who sighs and makes a remark such as, “Eh, life, you know!” could be trying to make light of their underlying problems or challenges. This phrase helps them avoid delving into the specifics of their struggles, especially if they feel so overwhelmed that there aren’t words to express what they’re going through.

12. “Taking it one day at a time.”

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This phrase reflects a mindset of adaptability, resilience, and perhaps even self-care when facing challenges. When a person says, “I’m taking it one day at a time” when asked how they’re doing, they’re acknowledging their difficult reality. However, they’re also emphasizing the importance of staying grounded in the present moment. This offers a peek into how they’re coping to get through their difficult time.

13. “No big deal.”

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Sometimes, this can be a passive-aggressive way of hiding one’s real emotions. If you ask the person if they feel okay about their problem or challenge, and they reply with, “No big deal,” it’s confusing. While they might be trying to make it seem they’re okay by minimizing their feelings, they might not have the courage to speak up about their genuine resentment, anger, or pain. This phrase shuts down communication.

14. “I’m doing my best.”

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If you ask someone how they’re doing and they reply, “I’m doing my best,” they’re clearly trying to be positive. But, underlying this, they might be trying to manage their or others’ expectations. They might also be conveying that they’re trying hard to work with the resources they have and cope with their limitations. These could be physical, emotional, or situational restrictions.

15. “I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”

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Someone who’s struggling might not want to dump their drama on others, out of fear of people not understanding or rejecting them. So, they say this phrase to set up some boundaries and keep their personal issues to themselves. They might also be independent and feel like they’d rather deal with their problems alone instead of reaching out to others for support.

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