For the longest time, I thought stubbornness was strength. I believed that deeply digging my heels into the dirt of my personal opinion made me tough. However, a few rounds with reality have humbled me. I have discovered that there’s something more fulfilling, something that exudes confidence, much more than sheer stubbornness. If you’re the stubborn one in your family, take it from me—there are 15 reasons to let it all go.
1. Grudges get you nowhere.
My stubbornness was often fueled by a grudge buried deep inside my heart. Whether it was a childhood hurt or leftover teenage angst, I allowed my early twenties to be defined by things I had never let go of from my youth. Of course, that doesn’t negate bad experiences. But the adult thing to do is seek reconciliation, offer forgiveness, and move on, according to Verywell Mind. Even if the other party doesn’t want to reconcile, you have the power to forgive them anyway. You can free yourself of the old burden because grudges get you nowhere. Deal with bitterness humbly, and then let the hurt go.
2. You’ll need family support later.
Motherhood has taught me many things, including just how much I need my family’s support. Don’t allow stubbornness to splinter relationships that could be mended, offering love, support, and encouragement in life’s highs and lows.
3. Tradition can’t always work.
Remaining stalwart to tradition is one reason family members are easily stubborn with each other. Little room for flexibility creates tension, straining relationships. If someone wants to change up where Christmas dinner is hosted or how often everyone meets for family game night, consider why they’re making this suggestion. Don’t let your opinion on tradition cause frustration.
4. Flexibility is freeing for everyone.
As I mentioned, a lack of flexibility creates drama. Yet, when family members can bend on the small things, life is smoother for everyone, according to Psychology Today. Not every social media tiff or holiday change-up is worth going to war. I’ll confess: being stubborn is exhausting, and family drama is mentally draining. Know what’s non-negotiable in your life, but be flexible with everything else.
5. Tension is healthy for no one.
When you aren’t willing to ride the ebb and flow of normal family frustrations, tension can build until you (or other family members) break. This often results in blow-out arguments that can truly damage relationships in the long run. The stubbornness that isn’t identified and dealt with using mature conversation can only produce tension, which is healthy for no one.
6. You can’t move forward.
When stubbornness causes ugly arguments or quietly rooted bitterness, it’s hard to move forward. Forgiveness isn’t extended, hearts aren’t mended, and no one can create a more welcoming atmosphere. Stubbornness doesn’t prove anything—except how quickly it can dismantle strong, loving families.
7. Other relationships are harmed.
If family ties are strained, other relationships can easily feel the sting. If you’re arguing with your parents, but your mom usually helps with your little one while you’re at work, the kiddos pay the price. If you’re arguing with your siblings and anger is constantly seeping, you could easily snap at a dear friend. Other people can pay the price for your stubbornness.
8. Bitterness ruins you.
Stubbornness can root bitterness in your heart, and bitterness can ruin you. It makes you a cynic, a skeptic, and a Debbie Downer. And who benefits from you creating such a heavy, negative atmosphere? No one else can — and certainly not you!
9. People are watching.
Your kids are watching how your stubbornness causes heated arguments at home. Your friends are watching how stubbornness is making it hard to have a simple coffee date with you. Coworkers are afraid to mention anything near you for fear that you’ll have a tense remark to make. People are watching how you live your life. Be an example of love, compassion, and maturity.
10. You need to establish boundaries.
If stubbornness seems to rule your response to any family conversation, it’s time to consider boundaries. Perhaps you feel that you’re being stepped on or ignored because you haven’t clearly set boundaries with family members.
11. Your loved ones will thank you.
When stubbornness can’t dictate how you act, other healthy qualities like selflessness and kindness can. This sets a beautiful example for your family and friends. Your loved ones will thank you with the love they reciprocate.
12. Relationships can mend.
If any relationships were damaged or completely lost as a result of your stubbornness, once you let it all go, you can seek restoration. Letting go of stubbornness is freeing and allows you to prioritize relationships over being right or ruling the roost.
13. Healing can begin.
When stubbornness instigates arguments and cripples relationships, healing can take delicate time. No matter how long or bumpy the road to restoration is, you have to start somewhere. Letting go of stubbornness is a huge first step on the path to healing.
14. Maturity is timeless.
Even if stubbornness hasn’t deteriorated your relationships, letting go of any ill-harbored feelings is simply the right thing to do. Maturity is timeless, and in today’s culture, it takes a brave person to go against the tide and do what’s right for morality’s sake. Be the better person by doing the right thing—even if it’s hard.
15. You owe it to yourself.
You owe it to yourself to let go of your stubbornness. Bitterness, anger, and broken relationships are often quick to follow when stubbornness is left unchecked. Keep your mental and emotional health strong by letting go of the stubbornness. You’ll thank yourself.
