Manners make the world go round, or so they say. But sometimes, we let those good manners slip, and well, it’s not pretty. Let’s take a look at some phrases that might signal you need a little refresher course in politeness. It’s all in good fun, of course, but hey, a little self-awareness never hurt anyone!
1. “It’s none of your business.”
This is a classic conversation stopper and a surefire way to come across as rude and dismissive. Even if someone is asking a question you’re not comfortable answering, there are more polite ways to decline. Try something like, “I’d rather not talk about that” or “That’s a bit personal.” It shows you respect the other person’s curiosity while still setting a boundary.
2. “You look tired.”
Unless you’re a close friend or family member, commenting on someone’s appearance in a negative way is generally not a good idea. Even if you think you’re being helpful, it can come across as insulting. If you’re genuinely concerned about someone’s well-being, try asking if they’re feeling okay or if there’s anything you can do to help.
3. “I told you so.”
This phrase is the epitome of smugness and is sure to rub anyone the wrong way. When someone makes a mistake or experiences a setback, the last thing they need is to be reminded that you predicted it. Instead of gloating, offer your support and understanding.
4. “Calm down.”
Telling someone to calm down when they’re already upset is like throwing fuel on a fire, Dr. Susan Bernstein warns. It invalidates their feelings and makes them feel even more agitated. Instead, try to listen to what they have to say and validate their emotions. You could say something like, “I can see you’re upset. What’s going on?”
5. “That’s not my problem.”
This phrase is a blatant display of indifference and lack of empathy. When someone comes to you with a problem, they’re usually looking for support or advice, not a cold shoulder. Even if you can’t directly help, you can still offer a listening ear or some words of encouragement.
6. “You’re overreacting.”
Similar to “calm down,” telling someone they’re overreacting is dismissive and invalidating. Everyone has different triggers and emotional responses. Instead of judging their reaction, try to understand their perspective and offer support.
7. “I don’t care.”
This phrase is the ultimate conversation killer. It shows a complete lack of interest and respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Even if you genuinely don’t care about the topic at hand, try to be polite and engage in the conversation.
8. “You always/never…”
Using absolute language like “always” or “never” is rarely accurate and often escalates conflict. Instead of making sweeping generalizations, focus on specific behaviors or situations. For example, instead of saying, “You always interrupt me,” try saying, “I felt interrupted when you said… earlier.”
9. “I’m not interested.”
While honesty is important, there’s no need to be blunt. If someone is trying to engage you in a conversation or activity you’re not interested in, there are more polite ways to decline. Try saying, “That’s not really my thing, but thanks for asking.” It shows you appreciate their effort while still setting a boundary.
10. “Whatever.”
This one-word response is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll. It conveys a lack of interest, dismissiveness, and even contempt. If you’re not interested in the conversation, try to excuse yourself politely. If you have to respond, try saying something like, “I don’t have a strong opinion on that,” or “What do you think?”
11. “You’re wrong.”
While it’s okay to disagree with someone, saying “you’re wrong” can come across as harsh and condescending. Instead, try phrasing your disagreement in a more respectful way, such as “I see it differently” or “I have a different perspective.” You can then explain your reasoning without making the other person feel attacked.
12. “Did you really just say that?”
This phrase often comes with a tone of disbelief and judgment. It can make the other person feel embarrassed and defensive. Instead of questioning their intelligence or common sense, try to understand their point of view. You could say something like, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Could you explain it further?”
13. “You’re so stupid.”
Name-calling is never okay, no matter how frustrated or angry you are, GoodTherapy points out. It’s hurtful, disrespectful, and immature. If you disagree with someone, try to express your disagreement in a calm and respectful way. Resorting to insults only reflects poorly on you.
14. “This is why I hate…”
Making sweeping generalizations about entire groups of people is not only rude but also harmful. It perpetuates stereotypes and promotes prejudice. Instead of focusing on the negative, try to find common ground and build bridges of understanding.
15. “Shut up.”
Telling someone to shut up is incredibly disrespectful and dismissive. It shows that you don’t value their opinion or their right to speak. If you disagree with someone, try to engage in a respectful debate or simply walk away. Silencing someone is never the answer.
16. “You’re being dramatic.”
Telling someone they’re being dramatic is invalidating and dismissive. It minimizes their feelings and makes them feel unheard. Instead, try to validate their emotions and understand their perspective. You could say something like, “I can see that this is upsetting you. How can I help?”
17. “You’re so sensitive.”
Everyone has different levels of sensitivity, and there’s nothing wrong with being sensitive. Telling someone they’re “too sensitive” is hurtful and dismissive. Instead, try to be mindful of their feelings and avoid saying things that might upset them.
18. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
This phrase is condescending and disrespectful. Even if you think someone is wrong, there are more polite ways to express your disagreement. Try saying something like, “I see it differently” or “I have a different perspective.” You can then explain your reasoning without making the other person feel attacked.
19. “That’s not how we do things here.”
This phrase can come across as closed-minded and resistant to change. While it’s important to have standards and traditions, it’s also important to be open to new ideas and perspectives. Instead of shutting down someone’s suggestions, try to understand their reasoning and see if there’s any merit to their ideas.
20. “I’m better than you.”
Bragging about your accomplishments or putting people down is never a good look. It’s arrogant, disrespectful, and alienating. Instead, focus on building genuine connections with people and celebrating their successes. Remember, everyone has something unique to offer, and we’re all in this together.
