Honesty is the best policy, but some people don’t operate that way. In fact, they go out of their way to be dishonest and try to deceive everyone they meet. Whether it’s to present themselves as someone they’re not, to manipulate and control others, or simply because they’re pathological liars, here’s how you know you’re dealing with a deceitful person.
1. They’re usually pretty vague.
Deceitful people usually avoid giving straightforward answers. Instead, they tend to speak in circles, deflect questions, or give incomplete responses to avoid being caught in a lie. This evasiveness can create a foggy feeling of uncertainty around their communication. You wonder what they’re talking about half the time and why they can’t just say what they mean.
2. The stories they tell are inconsistent.
If their stories often change or don’t add up, it could be a sign that they’re lying. They may struggle to keep their fibs straight and end up contradicting themselves over time since they don’t remember the BS they told you a few days before. Over time, these inconsistencies can reveal a pattern of dishonesty that’s absolutely maddening.
3. They avoid making eye contact.
While this isn’t always a sure sign of dishonesty, liars and deceitful people regularly avoid eye contact when they’re lying since the eyes are the windows to the soul, etc. Basically, they know they can’t look you in the eye without you knowing that they’re full of it, so they don’t do it.
4. They’re uncomfortable with silence.
Deceitful people hate nothing more than silence — it’s always awkward for them — particularly because it gives other people a chance to think and potentially see through their lies. They may try to fill silence with irrelevant chit-chat or change the subject quickly, showing just how uncomfortable they are with introspection or scrutiny.
5. They overcompensate with details.
To make their lies seem more believable, deceitful people love to pepper their stories with unnecessary (and often untrue) details. This can be a tactic to distract you from the lie or to make their story seem more convincing, but excessive detail can sometimes be a red flag in and of itself.
6. They use manipulative language.
Deceitful people often know exactly the turns of phrases to use to control or influence others. They might use flattery, guilt-tripping, or gaslighting to confuse you and divert attention from their dishonesty. This manipulation can be subtle and insidious, making it difficult to discern the truth.
7. Their body language is weirdly off.
If their body language doesn’t match what they’re saying, it might be a sign they’re lying. For example, they could be saying something positive while their facial expression or posture seems tense or uncomfortable. These non-verbal cues can sometimes reveal underlying feelings that contradict their words.
8. They shift the blame.
Deceitful people are often quick to blame everyone else for issues and conflicts instead of owning up to their own behavior. They rarely take responsibility for their actions and often play the victim to elicit sympathy. This constant deflection inevitably creates a toxic environment in which accountability is lacking.
9. They’re defensive all the time.
If they become overly defensive or aggressive when questioned, it could be a sign of deceit. This can be a tactic to intimidate people into not asking further questions. Their heightened defensiveness kinda proves that they have something to hide. Otherwise, why would they get so uptight about everything?
10. They’re unpredictable.
Deceitful people often behave unpredictably, especially since they’re always going back and forth between the truth and lies. They may be charming and friendly one moment, and cold and distant the next. This erratic behavior creates a sense of instability and unpredictability in your interactions with them.
11. They’re often impersonal.
Deceitful people weirdly avoid using personal pronouns like “I” or “we” when they’re telling a story as a way to psychologically distance themselves from the lie. According to the Association for Psychological Science, this subconscious linguistic shift can sometimes be a tell-tale sign of dishonesty. Who doesn’t ever refer to themselves in conversation?
12. They’re always touching their face or mouth.
According to some studies, people may touch their face or mouth more often when they’re lying. This could be a subconscious reaction to tension or stress associated with the fact that they’re full of crap, but remember, it’s not a definitive sign and could be attributed to other things as well. Maybe they’re just nervous or socially awkward?
13. They overemphasize things or use dramatic gestures.
Deceitful people tend to overemphasize certain points or use dramatic body language and gestures to make their lies seem more believable. This theatricality can be a tactic to distract you from the inconsistencies in their story. Unfortunately, all it actually does is draw your attention to them even more.
14. They change their speaking or breathing patterns.
When someone is lying, they may speak more quickly or slowly, or their breathing pattern may change suddenly. This could be due to the stress and mental effort required to maintain a lie, which then causes physiological changes that can affect their speech and breath.
15. They avoid committing to specifics.
If someone is lying through their teeth, they may avoid making concrete statements or commitments. This vagueness gives them room to change their story later and can be a sign of intentional BS. The vaguer they keep the details, the more likely they’ll be to stay on top of the story and add to it down the line.
16. They have a weird reaction to being accused.
If you confront them or accuse them of lying, deceitful people might react strangely by laughing inappropriately or turning the accusation around on you even though you’re not a part of it. Their reaction makes their discomfort and/or guilt glaringly obvious.
17. They try to change the subject quickly.
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Deceitful people often try to shift the conversation away from their lie as soon as possible. They might change the subject, tell a joke, or do anything else to divert your attention. The more they do it, the more you realize that they’re just not being honest.
