They say love is a battlefield or a rollercoaster. But sometimes, it can be more than that… a complete train wreck. If you find yourself constantly falling for Mr. or Ms. Wrong, it might be time for a little self-reflection. Here’s a brutally honest look at the mistakes you might be making as you look for love.
1. You’re ignoring the red flags
We’ve all been there. You meet someone new, and they’re absolutely perfect… except for that one tiny thing. Maybe they’re “still friends” with their ex, or they’ve never held a job for more than six months. But you brush it off because everything else is so great. Guess what though…according to Psychology Today, those red flags are waving for a reason, and that reason is usually “Danger ahead!”
2. You’re trying to fix people
I hate to break it to you, but you’re not a rehabilitation center for damaged people. If you constantly find yourself attracted to “fixer-uppers,” thinking your love will magically transform them, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. People can change, but they have to want to do it for themselves, not for you.
3. You’re mistaking drama for passion
If your relationships feel like they belong on Primetime TV, it might be time to change the channel. Constant fights, breakups, and makeup aren’t signs of a passionate love story, they’re signs of an unhealthy relationship. Real love should bring peace, not chaos.
4. You’re not setting boundaries
According to BetterUp, healthy relationships require healthy boundaries. If you find yourself constantly letting people cross your boundaries or not setting any in the first place, you’re opening yourself up to being taken advantage of. Or worse—ending up in unfulfilling relationships.
5. You’re not learning from past mistakes
Someone once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you keep making the same relationship mistakes and wondering why things never work out, it’s time to take a hard look at your patterns and learn from them.
6. You’re stuck in a type
Maybe you always go for the bad boy or the party girl. Having a “type” isn’t inherently bad, but if your type keeps leading you to heartbreak, it might be time to expand your horizons. The right person for you might look nothing like what you expect, so try to be open.
7. You’re settling
Maybe you’re afraid of being alone, or you think you can’t do any better. Whatever the reason, if you’re settling for relationships that don’t meet your needs or make you truly happy, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You deserve someone who’s right for you, not just someone who’s available.
8. You’re confusing lust with love
Sure, physical attraction is important, but if that’s all there is, it’s not going to last. If you find yourself constantly drawn to people based solely on looks or sexual chemistry, you’re setting yourself up for shallow, unfulfilling relationships.
9. You’re rushing into things
These days, it’s all about instant gratification and it’s easy to want to fast-forward to the good part of a relationship. But if you’re planning your wedding after the second date, you might be moving a tad too fast. Slow down, take time to really get to know someone, and let the relationship develop naturally.
10. You’re not being honest with yourself
Do you really want a long-term relationship, or are you just afraid of being alone? Are you actually attracted to this person, or do you just like the idea of them? Being honest with yourself about what you want and feel is crucial to finding the right partner.
11. You’re ignoring your own needs
In your eagerness to please your partner, are you forgetting about your own needs and wants? If you find yourself constantly compromising on things that are important to you, you’re not doing yourself or your relationship any favors.
12. You’re not working on yourself
Here’s a hard truth: Sometimes, the problem isn’t them, it’s you. If you’re not taking time to work on your issues, insecurities, and personal growth, you’re not going to attract the kind of healthy relationship you deserve.
13. You’re looking for someone to complete you
Sorry to break it to you, but that’s a myth. Looking for someone to make you whole or fix all your problems, is putting way too much pressure on your relationships! A partner should complement your life, not complete it.
14. You’re ignoring your friends and family’s opinions
You shouldn’t let others make decisions for you, but if everyone in your life is waving red flags about your new partner, it might be worth listening. Sometimes, love is blind, and those closest to you can see things you’re missing.
15. You’re ignoring your intuition
You know that little voice in your head that sometimes pipes up with doubts or concerns? Stop ignoring it. Your intuition picks up on things your conscious mind overlooks. If something feels off, it probably is.
16. You’re trying to be someone you’re not
In an effort to impress or keep a partner, you might pretend to be someone you’re not. But here’s the thing: The right person will love you for who you really are, not who you think they want you to be.
