If you’re chatting to someone and something feels “off” with their body language or behavior, they could be lying to you. Some people know how to turn on the charm and fool you into thinking they’re being honest, when they’re actually quite insincere or trying to manipulate you. How can you tell that they’re lying? Here are 17 behaviors to look out for!
1. They avoid using the word “I.”
When someone’s trying to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, they’ll try not to use the word “I.” So, if you suspect your partner of lying about attending a friend’s party, they’ll say, “The party ended around 12” instead of “I left the party around 12.” They do this to try to distance themselves from their words to appear innocent.
2. They answer questions with questions.
If you ask them a question that they find tricky to answer, they might try to stall and avoid answering it by asking you a question back. So, for example, you might say, “Where were you last night?” and they’ll say, “How can you ask me where I was?” or “Where do you think I was?” This is a clever tactic for them to avoid telling you the truth.
3. They use non-committal words.
It’s so frustrating when someone you’re chatting to uses words that are non-committal, such as “I guess” or “perhaps.” They’re being vague on purpose, trying to find a loophole out of the situation. Doing this prevents them from taking responsibility while allowing them to change their story at a later stage. It’s so sneaky.
4. They avoid correcting you.
If someone is being deceptive, they might try to omit certain facts so they can lead you astray. For example, if they share a poem with you that you assume is theirs, they won’t contradict you because they might want you to think that they wrote it. Or, they might listen to you vent about your problem without telling you what they know so that you don’t figure out the truth of the situation.
5. Their feelings and words clash.
You can always tell if someone’s being deceptive by how their feelings don’t quite match up with what they tell you. So, they might tell you they’re happy, but then look angry or frustrated on their face. Or, they might say they’re fine with a situation, but you can tell they’re not. This passive-aggressive behavior serves to keep you on your toes, so you never quite know what they really feel.
6. Their words seem practiced.
Have you ever asked someone a difficult or personal question only for them to unleash an answer that seems a little too perfect? They don’t even seem to stop and think about what to say! This can feel unsettling because it gives you the hint that they’ve been rehearsing their words so that they come across as being honest and smooth.
7. They make you the focus of the conversation.
Sneakily, someone who’s being deceptive will try to avoid being asked certain questions by turning the spotlight onto you. So, while you might assume they’re interested in what you have to say, the truth is that they’re hoping to distract you by focusing on subjects you want to talk about. If someone never wants to talk about themselves or says, “Enough about me — let’s chat about you”, it’s a red flag that they’re being deceptive.
8. They repeat themselves.
If you ask someone who’s being deceptive about a party they attended or a family get-together they planned, note what they say, including the details. When you ask them about it again at a future date, you’ll notice that they say exactly the same thing, down to the choice of words they initially used. Deceptive people tend to do this so that they keep track of their lies!
9. Their way of speaking changes.
You can spot someone’s not being 100 percent truthful with you if you notice that their tone, pitch, and even their vocabulary is a bit different. Maybe they’ll speak in a higher or lower pitch, or they might take on a somber tone. Or, they’ll use words that aren’t usually ones that come out of their mouth. These subtle inconsistencies are red flags.
10. Their smiles are totally fake.
You know the phrase, “their smile reaches their eyes”? It means that the person’s smile is natural, and it matches the glee in their eyes. Sometimes, when deceptive people smile, their eyes remain cold. This shows that something’s not quite in sync with what they’re trying to sell you. They seem happy or calm, but their eyes are telling you a completely different story.
11. They try to joke around.
It feels so inappropriate and rude when you’re trying to talk to someone and all they can do is crack jokes. What’s going on? They might be trying to change the subject or make light of the situation so that you drop it and avoid confronting them. It’s a distracting technique so that you don’t pursue the conversation, and if they’re really good at it, they might do it without you even noticing how manipulative it is.
12. They breathe heavier.
You don’t need a lie detector machine to help you notice this trait in someone who’s lying to you: their breathing will change, usually becoming a bit quicker. This happens because their heart rate is increasing and their blood’s flowing faster, both of which make them breathe faster. Check their neck or chest for signs that this is occurring.
13. They become statues.
Instead of fidgeting when nervous, someone who’s deceptive might actually do the opposite by becoming still and looking like they’re frozen. Woah, it’s so weird! They do this because they’re staying still and choosing to “fight” instead of “flight”, but it’s also a sign that they’re not relaxed or casual because they’re really anxious or scared. They just don’t want to make that obvious.
14. They cover certain parts of their bodies.
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Sometimes people who are lying to you will cover their neck or chest as though awaiting an attack. It’s a sign that they’re feeling vulnerable, and they could be trying to soothe themselves during the difficult situation. It could also be a way for them to try to slow down their breathing or heart rate because their nerves are getting out of control.
15. They stop blinking.
It’s a well-known fact that people who lie tend to have shifty eyes, which is why highly deceptive people will try to avoid that telling faux pas. Instead of looking away from your eyes, they’ll seem to stop blinking altogether because their stare is so intense. It’s their way of trying to come across as honest and sincere, but it tells you the opposite (and it’s creepy).
16. They give you one-word answers.
When you try to talk to someone about something that’s bothering you, you might find that they seem to shut down. If you’re trying to have the conversation via text, they might give you one-word answers. In person, they might say as little as possible. They’re doing this because they don’t want to screw themselves over by saying too much, so they’re reeling in their words.
17. They look at their watch.
Sometimes you can tell someone’s lying by how they look like they want to bolt for the nearest exit because they’re so uncomfortable. They might look down at their watch as a way to make it known that they don’t have time for the conversation. But, this could also be a reflex action because they can’t look you in the eye and just want to get out of the situation.
