It’s not always easy to spot a woman hater, or misogynist, as soon as you meet them. Although this type of man can be hostile, sometimes what makes them tricky to spot right away is how they throw love your way. Don’t count on it, ’cause soon they’ll be putting you down and trying to control you. Here are 11 things people say that reveal them as women haters. You’ve been warned.
1. “You Should Smile. It Makes You Look Beautiful.”
Enough with guys telling us to smile! Seriously, it’s insulting. Do they expect us to be little dolls with permanent smiles on our faces, never rocking the boat or speaking up when we don’t like something? What rubbish. Don’t be thrown by the “you look beautiful” part of the comment, ladies — it’s meant to throw you for a loop. He doesn’t care about you, but rather wants to tell you how to be. Groan.
2. “Women Should Be Ladylike.”
It might surprise you to hear that a man in this day and age would say women should be ladylike, but it still happens. Ugh. So, your misogynistic boyfriend might say that women shouldn’t play football because it’s “too manly” or that he wants a girlfriend who’s soft and nurturing. Insert eye roll.
3. “You’re Too Emotional.”
Your misogynistic date might tell you that you’re being too emotional/dramatic, but that’s because he has certain ideas of what women are like. So, he might call his exes “crazy” or tell you that you’re “way too sensitive” when you get upset about him standing you up for the second time in a row. He doesn’t want to understand your feelings and these labels help him dehumanize women. It’s so sick.
4. “You Work Too Hard.”
Look, this comment is irritating no matter who’s saying it. If you want to work hard and chase your career goals, more power to you. Why should a guy be trying to tell you otherwise? A misogynist will say this because he’s threatened by your success. He wants to be the person in the relationship who earns more money and has a more successful career.
5. “Relax, I’ll Pay You Back.”
A man hater doesn’t care one little bit about you or your needs. He’ll try to take advantage of you, whether that means borrowing money from you and never paying it back or stealing your ideas but acting like it’s NBD. Gross. This kind of guy will show other men respect, but he won’t give women the same treatment.
6. “Women Treat Me Like Crap.”
Be wary of a guy who always speaks badly of women. He might complain about his exes and call them horrible names, or he might make general statements about women, such as, “Women always cheat on men” or “Women are gold diggers.” It’s worrying because he might be acting like he cares about you, but he clearly has deeply ingrained negative ideas about women.
7. “Look Good For Me Tonight.”
The guy you’re dating asks you out with his friends but tells you that you should “look good for him,” such as by paying special attention to how you dress or do your makeup. What the heck? This could be his way of trying to control you and such a comment also displays his cocky attitude. He thinks women should be trophies for men. SMH.
8. “You’re Not Like Other Women.”
When a misogynistic man meets you, he might love-bomb you into thinking you’re perfect for him. He might say, “You’re not like other women,” almost like that should be a compliment. He hates all women, so if you’re different then that’s pleasing to him. Ugh, it’s not a compliment. It’s a sign that he has serious issues with women and likes to pit women against each other.
9. “You Should Have Kids.”
Women haters operate in a patriarchal environment. So, they’ll regularly judge women and assume that they should devote their lives to being mothers. If you’ve told a guy that you’re not keen to have kids, he might tell you that you have to because you’re a woman/have a womb. It’s so archaic!
10. “You Should’ve Known.”
It might confuse you when the guy you’re dating becomes quiet or sulky. When he eventually tells you what’s going on, he says, “You should’ve known I was feeling angry/frustrated when you weren’t here/didn’t buy dinner.” He expects you to know what’s on his mind. It’s so crazy. Misogynists do this because they want you to work hard to keep them happy, expecting you to do all the relationship work.
11. “Change Your Outfit Before We Go Out.”
To put you down, a misogynist will criticize you and try to control you. So, he might start by telling you to change your outfit before a night out. This is troubling because as time goes on, he’s going to try to control you in bigger, more fearful ways. Seriously? Get out now. No one should ever think they have the right to change you.
