Relationships are complex at the best of times, but sometimes, one person is over it more than the other.
Sometimes, a man will start disengaging from the relationship before his partner is aware. Because his behaviors are subtle, his partner might only pick up on them once it’s too late. However, if he’s doing these things, there’s a good chance he probably wants out.
1. He wants more space than usual.
There’s nothing wrong with having space in a relationship—it’s important for both partners to maintain a healthy level of autonomy. However, if a man is asking for more space than normal, this could be because he’s over the relationship. Perhaps when he gets home from work, he goes straight to his study instead of spending time with his partner, or he might book out the weekends to be with his friends.
2. His communication is terrible.
Another subtle sign that a man might be over a relationship and thinking about leaving is if he’s gotten steadily worse at communicating over time. Perhaps his partner is used to him calling on the way home from work so they can talk before he gets home, or maybe he makes a point every Thursday to make dinner for him and his partner so they can sit down together and have some couple time. Now, he hardly ever lets his partner know when he’s done with work, let alone call, and he last made dinner a few weeks ago.
3. His partner’s friends are starting to take notice.
If a man is starting to think about detaching himself from a relationship, while the signs might be subtle, his partner’s friends might have a gut feeling. Whenever his partner catches up with her friends for coffee, they ask many questions about their relationship in a concerned tone. They feel like they’ve picked up on a shift in his vibe and are worried that this will result in a breakup shortly.
4. He sighs a lot around his partner.
If a man isn’t enjoying the relationship anymore and is thinking of leaving, his body language can say a lot, while he might not be saying anything. Perhaps his partner is finding that he sighs a lot around her. Typically, humans sigh when they’re in pain, bored, or irritated, so this might be a subtle way of communicating that he’s over it.
5. He’s on his phone a lot.
Back at the beginning of the relationship, he would do everything to ensure his partner was comfortable, safe, and valued. This included putting his phone down when they talked and making her feel she had undivided attention. Now, whenever she tries to initiate a conversation, he’s distracted. When they’re eating dinner together, he periodically picks up his phone to check it and sometimes even takes calls, leaving his dinner half-eaten and his partner to finish it alone.
6. He goes to bed a lot later.
Another subtle sign that a man might be over his partner is if he’s stopped going to be at the same time as her. For years, he and his partner have made a point of going to bed simultaneously because they enjoy that time together at the end of the day to cuddle and talk about their feelings. Now, he chooses to sit up when his partner goes to bed, playing video games or watching a movie alone, and doesn’t join her for hours.
7. He doesn’t engage in arguments anymore.
While this might be interpreted as a win, it’s the opposite. If a man isn’t willing to participate in disagreements, he’s given up and doesn’t care about improving the relationship. It’s impossible to be in a relationship and not argue because this is how you share your vulnerable side with your partner, understand theirs, and resolve how to work on things. Whenever his partner brings up something she doesn’t like, he shrugs in indifference and walks away.
8. He doesn’t surprise his partner anymore.
It’s possible that a man is looking for an out in a relationship if he’s stopped spending money on his partner. Initially, he loved surprising her with flowers, impromptu date nights, and small notes around the house reminding her of how much he loved her. It’s been months since he’s done anything like this, and he only spends money on himself when he does go out.
9. He forgets important dates.
All men are guilty at some point of forgetting a birthday or an anniversary, Women’s Health acknowledges —typically, the woman in the relationship keeps track of the calendar. However, this could also be a sign that he’s done with the relationship and doesn’t care about its important markers anymore. Last anniversary, his partner had to remind him multiple times that it was coming up, and even on the day, he didn’t mention it until she did. He certainly hadn’t planned anything.
10. He doesn’t communicate about the future.
One sign of a healthy relationship is having regular conversations about future goals as a couple. Whether it’s saving up to buy a house, getting married, or even thinking about having kids sometime soon, both partners relish the moments they get to daydream about what life will be like with their partner. This isn’t a good sign if he’s stopped talking about the future with his partner. Whenever his partner brings up her dream of starting a family soon or going house hunting, he avoids the topic by saying that they’ll talk about it later, or he changes the subject.
11. He might let the mask slip.
If a man is over a relationship and trying to think of how to leave, his partner might occasionally see his true intentions in the heat of the moment. For example, they might be arguing about splitting the household chores, and the argument has gotten heated. Out of anger, he has said, “You’ll be doing all of them soon anyway if I’m not here.” He quickly tries to backtrack by claiming he spoke out of anger, but it’s enough to leave his partner concerned and apprehensive.
12. He’s no longer interested in his partner’s life.
When a man is in a relationship and cares about his partner, being interested in her life will come effortlessly. He will ask her how work’s going, how her friends are, and how her parents are doing, and remind her that she can always come to him if she needs to confide anything. Now, he never asks her how her friends or family are and shuts down when she tries to talk about anything she might be going through.
13. He doesn’t include you socially anymore.
Another subtle sign that a man isn’t into a relationship anymore and is thinking about leaving is when he separates his friend group from his partner. Perhaps he wouldn’t miss a chance to show his partner off to his friends in the beginning. Now, whenever he goes out to the bar with them, he claims it’s “boy’s night” and leaves his partner at home.
14. He’s not affectionate anymore.
Some men are more affectionate than others, but it’s obvious when they love and care about their partner. They’ll show this through small acts of affection, like an arm around her waist, a quick kiss on the cheek, and an adoring look across the table. Now, whether in public or at home, he hardly even looks at his partner, and when she goes in for a hug, he feels stiff and uncomfortable.
15. He’s not including his partner in family things.
When a man is proud of his partner, he wants to share her with his family. Like with friends, he wants his family to see how happy he is and how much he cares about his partner. He’ll include her in family things, from attending church to having Sunday night dinner. However, if he’s thinking about leaving, he hardly ever includes his partner, choosing to visit his parents or siblings alone and not communicating with his partner when he’s doing so.
