The word “gentleman” has been around for a long time and, for the most part, still carries the same meaning. While the feminist movement has made big waves over the last few decades, women still applaud and appreciate a true gentleman. So, if you’re looking for a man who has gentlemanly tendencies, look out for these traits.
1. He’s good at keeping secrets.
When you confide in a true gentleman, you know your secret is safe with him. He’s not a gossip, and he’s not about to turn around and share your secret with four of his friends. Sure, he might be tempted, but his loyalty to you and preserving your honor are bigger priorities. What a gent.
2. He works hard for what he wants.
A true gentleman isn’t about to take a shortcut with his next project at work. When filling the dishwasher, he doesn’t just scrape food off the plates and throw them in—he takes his time rinsing each one and putting them in their proper place. He knows that if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly, and if something’s worth achieving, it’s worth working hard for.
3. He helps people with their bags.
Whether it’s a little old lady crossing the street or a pregnant woman who can’t carry all her grocery bags to her car alone, a true gentleman will step in and save the day. He knows how to take initiative and help someone, even if they’re not asking for it. If your partner is a true gentleman, he might run around the car every time you park to open your door or come out of the house to help you with the groceries when you get home from the supermarket.
4. He always RSVPs.
If a man is a true gentleman, he won’t leave an invitation on read to make the person who invited him guess. He’s also not the type to put a “maybe” on a Facebook group invite, leaving the host wondering if they need to have a place setting for him. He takes notice of the RSVP deadline and will honor it, ensuring that the host knows whether they can count him in or out.
5. He is confident, not arrogant.
If a man is a true gentleman, he knows the difference between confidence and arrogance and doesn’t mix the two. For example, he’s asked to give a speech at his best friend’s wedding. If he’s confident, the speech will be full of hilarious anecdotes about his friend and sweet insights into his character. If he’s arrogant, he’ll turn the speech around and make it all about him, seeing it as a chance to talk about himself.
6. He is open-minded.
If a man has true gentleman tendencies, then he’s opinionated without being close-minded. When you have a conversation with him about religion or politics, he quietly shares his opinion while listening with interest to yours. He doesn’t get heated from hearing something he doesn’t agree with—he takes others’ views on board and sets them against his own, thinking critically and carefully.
7. He is chivalrous.
Chivalry isn’t dead when you’re dealing with a true gentleman. While he understands that many women are okay with opening their own doors, he still can’t help offering this gesture, allowing them to enter a building first. When he is on a date and arrives at the restaurant first, he stands up to greet his date and pushes her chair in for her. He knows it’s the little things.
8. He is sensitive to others’ feelings.
The last thing a true gentleman will do is make someone cry. He is careful to approach certain subjects in a sensitive, considerate way. For example, you might have disagreed on finances, finding you have a different approach to budgeting for the week. Instead of getting angry, slamming his hand down, and walking out of the room, your partner takes your hand and gently explains that while you might not see eye to eye, he’s willing to find a middle ground.
9. He is honest.
A true gentleman knows that honesty is the best policy. He knows sharing his feelings about something while communicating it with kindness and love is essential. He might gently communicate that he’d like a bit more time to spend with his friends on the weekends while in the same breath asking what you need to be comfortable. Swoon.
10. He is respectful.
A true gentleman is always respectful. Whenever he’s out, whether with his partner or not, he only has good things to say about her; he never slanders her publicly or complains about things she might do to annoy him. Instead, he talks her up and defends her because he’s proud to be with her.
11. He means what he says.
When a true gentleman communicates, he says what he means and means what he says. If he says he’ll have time to cook your favorite winter curry this weekend, he means it. He’s not going to come up with an excuse at the last minute or forget half the ingredients at the grocery store and claim he can’t do it. According to Marriage.com, a gentleman always follows through on what he says.
12. He offers up his seat.
Whether waiting at the DMV, the doctor’s office, or taking the bus into town, if an elderly person walks through the door and all the other seats are taken, a true gentleman will get up immediately and offer his seat to them. He might even move further back in the bus if there’s a more accessible seat for a pregnant woman or someone in a wheelchair.
13. He doesn’t judge.
A true gentleman knows when to reserve judgment. For example, when he meets someone for the first time, he takes his time making an impression—he knows that you can’t figure someone out in five minutes. Others might quickly dismiss someone as too talkative, bossy, or nosy, but a true gentleman knows everyone deserves a second chance.
14. He dresses well.
A true gentleman finds merit in holding himself to a high standard, and this isn’t just in his demeanor and character. He knows that to be taken seriously by those around him; he needs to put thought and care into how he dresses. If he’s wearing a dress shirt, it’s always pressed, and if he’s going casual for the day, his clothes are clean and wrinkle-free.
15. He has a good handshake.
A man is a true gentleman if he’s mastered the art of a good handshake. When he greets someone, whether it’s someone new or an old friend, he doesn’t take their hand limply and then step away. He looks them warmly in the eye and grasps their hand firmly.
