Ever wonder what’s going on behind those smiles and polite conversations? I know I have. Figuring out what people truly think about us can be tricky. We can’t read minds (unfortunately), but there are definitely some telltale signs. It’s all about paying attention to those little details, nonverbal cues, and the overall vibe you get from someone. Here are some of the things to look out for.
1. Their body language speaks volumes.
Nonverbal cues are like a secret language that’s incredibly eye-opening once you know how to “speak” it. Pay attention to how they hold themselves when they’re around you, Verywell Mind suggests. Do they lean towards you, make eye contact, and have open, relaxed posture? Or do they cross their arms, avoid eye contact, and fidget nervously? Positive body language shows interest and engagement, while negative body language can indicate discomfort or disinterest.
2. Their tone of voice reveals more than their words.
Listen for subtle changes in their tone of voice. Do they sound warm, enthusiastic, and engaged when talking to you? Or do they seem flat, monotone, or even a little condescending? The way someone speaks can reveal a lot about their feelings, even if their words are perfectly polite. A warm tone suggests genuine interest, while a flat or dismissive tone might indicate boredom or disapproval.
3. Their words and actions don’t always match up.
Pay attention to any inconsistencies between what someone says and what they do. Do they compliment you to your face but gossip about you behind your back? Do they promise to help you but never follow through? Mismatches between words and actions can be a sign that they’re not being sincere. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, so trust your gut if something feels off.
4. They don’t make time for you.
We all have busy lives, but if someone consistently cancels plans, ignores your texts, or seems too busy to make time for you, it’s a sign they might not value your company as much as you’d like. When someone truly cares about you, they make an effort to be present in your life, even if it means rearranging their schedule or sacrificing some of their free time.
5. They’re quick to judge or criticize you.
Everyone makes mistakes, but someone who genuinely cares about you will offer constructive criticism, not harsh judgment. If they constantly put you down, belittle your accomplishments, or criticize your choices, they clearly don’t respect you or value your feelings. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support, not constant criticism.
6. They don’t celebrate your successes.
A true friend is your biggest cheerleader. They’re genuinely happy for your achievements, big or small, and they take the time to celebrate your success. If someone seems indifferent to your accomplishments or even jealous, it’s a sign they might not have your best interests at heart.
7. They don’t listen to you.
In a healthy relationship, both people feel heard and understood. If someone constantly interrupts you, talks over you, or dismisses your concerns, it shows a lack of respect and consideration, Psychology Today notes. It’s important to feel like your voice matters and that your opinions are valued.
8. They don’t offer support when you need it.
Whether you’re going through a tough time or simply need a listening ear, a true friend will be there for you. If someone consistently disappears when you need them most or offers only superficial support, it’s a sign they might not be as invested in the relationship as you are.
9. They exclude you from social events or conversations.
Have you ever felt deliberately left out of gatherings or conversations that you should be a part of? If someone consistently excludes you, it’s a sign they might not value your presence or enjoy your company. While everyone needs their space, feeling repeatedly sidelined suggests they may not see you as a priority in their social circle.
10. They talk about you behind your back.
Gossip is never a good sign, especially if it’s coming from someone who claims to be your friend. If you hear through the grapevine that someone is talking negatively about you, it’s a clear indication that they don’t respect you or value your friendship. Trustworthy people will address their concerns directly with you, not air their grievances behind your back.
11. They don’t remember important details about you.
Do they forget your birthday, your job title, or important events in your life? While everyone has occasional memory lapses, consistently forgetting important details about you shows a lack of interest or care. It’s like they’re not paying attention to your life, which can make you feel unimportant and undervalued.
12. They constantly give you backhanded compliments.
These are those sly remarks that sound like compliments but actually have a hidden insult. They might say something like, “You look so much better with makeup on,” or “Wow, you’re actually funny sometimes.” These comments are designed to make you feel insecure and question your worth.
13. They make you feel like you’re constantly competing for their attention.
Do you feel like you have to fight for their time and attention? Do they constantly flirt with people, talk about their exes, or make you feel like you’re not good enough? This kind of behavior is a major red flag and can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel valued and appreciated, not like you’re constantly competing for their love.
14. They never ask about your day or how you’re feeling.
A lack of interest in your life is a major red flag. If someone never asks how your day was, how you’re feeling, or what’s going on in your life, it suggests they’re not really invested in the relationship. True friends care about each other’s well-being and make an effort to stay connected, even when life gets busy.
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