You know that person who’s been lingering in your life like a bad smell? Yeah, it’s time to get rid of them. Whether it’s a frenemy, a toxic ex, or that relative who always has an opinion about your life choices, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is to cut them loose. But let’s face it, doing that isn’t always that simple. That’s why we’re giving you 15 no-BS tips that’ll help you show toxic people the door.
1. You could ghost them.
There are good and bad things about ghosting. When it comes to removing a toxic person from your life, ghosting could be the best answer, according to Simply Psychology. You walk away, disappear from their lives, and move on with your own without any confrontation. However, for some, this leaves a space where you never get the chance to say goodbye and let the person know exactly what they did wrong, and that can eat at you.
2. Be open with them.
If you need some closure, the best thing to do is be honest with the person. Sit them down for a chat and tell them precisely what’s making you cut them out of your life, like the way they speak to you or the fact that they’ve put you in too many dangerous situations to count. If you’re open with them, you’ll know you did everything you could and you can wipe your hands clean.
3. Make it simple and easy.
On the other hand, it’s not your responsibility to give someone a list of all the things that make them not friend-worthy, and you don’t have to have excuses for why you want someone out of your life. With that in mind, make it short and sweet when you talk to this person, like “Hey, I’m not in the place where I can continue this friendship but I wish you the best of luck.” The quicker you say what needs to be said, the faster you can move on.
4. Set strict boundaries.
The more you stick to your guns, the less satisfying you become as a target. They’ll get frustrated when their tricks don’t work, like a toddler whose tantrums suddenly stop getting results. Eventually, they’ll realize they can’t take your emotional energy anymore, and they’ll slink away and find a new victim.
5. Cut back on the time you spend with them.
A great way to start working someone out of your life is to spend less time with them. When they offer to get together, turn them down. When they show up where you are, leave. They’ll get the hint.
6. Block them everywhere.
There’s nothing more annoying than someone you dislike popping up as a “suggested friend” on your social media. Whether you’ve given them the news that your relationship is over or not, blocking on social media is a great way to be free of someone’s BS without all the confrontation. If you want to take it a step further, you can also block their number. According to Psychology Today, it also helps to reduce the temptation should you ever feel like reaching back out.
7. Change your routine.
Sometimes, you have to make extra changes to get someone out of your life, like not going to your favorite places because you know they hang out there, too. While it may seem unfair to stop going to your usual haunts, this is a great chance to find some new favorite bars, restaurants, and bookstores. You get peace of mind because you’re less likely to run into the person you’ve cut out of your life and bonus: you also get to explore something new.
8. Make some new friends.
Moving on from an old friendship or relationship can be much easier if you surround yourself with new, healthier people. You’ll be too busy getting to know your new core group to give time to the person you’re walking away from. Try to find folks who fit your vibe and have similar interests—this way, you have more reasons to stay invested in the new acquaintance and are less likely to fall back into old patterns with the person you’re moving on from.
9. Avoid giving off mixed signals.
When you’re ready to walk away, do it, and don’t look back. When you check in on the person, or you make connections with them after saying it’s over, you’re sending them mixed signals. Those signals could make them feel like you still want to have them in your life. So try your best to resist the urge to wish them a happy birthday or send them a “thinking of you” text—it will only make the situation messier.
10. Remove reminders of them from your life.
Speaking of resisting the urge, remove anything that reminds you of that person from your life. This means throwing out photos of the two of you together, getting rid of gifts they gave you, and anything else with a strong connection to that person. It seems strange, but it is a great way to purge the past from your life so you can move on to the present.
11. Realize your worth.
Once you know your worth, it’s easier to eliminate people from your life who don’t have your best intentions in mind. It’s time to put yourself first and learn that the one person you can trust is you. Letting go of people who no longer have a place in your life or are toxic is one of the first steps to putting yourself at #1.
12. Surround yourself with a support system.
There’s nothing wrong with confiding in friends and family and letting them know what you’re going through. A healthy support system will help you stay strong in staying away from this person. If you’re nixing a family member from your life, you want the rest of your family members to know so things aren’t awkward.
13. Keep yourself busy.
Start doing all of the things you didn’t have time to do when you were busy catering to this other person’s needs—like your art or writing your book. The busier you are, the less time you’ll have to dwell on the past or get the itch to check in on them. Nothing good comes from checking on someone you cut from your life, trust us.
14. Talk to a therapist.
Therapy may not help everyone, but if you need assistance moving on from a relationship or friendship, therapy may offer the guidance you need to make things happen more effortlessly. Your therapist may have tips on how to say goodbye permanently, make changes to your life to ensure you don’t let anyone else toxic in, and help you love yourself more after a bad relationship or friendship.
15. Protect yourself legally if needed.
If the person you’re walking away from poses a threat to your safety, don’t be afraid to get legal help. You may want to find an attorney or even file a protection order against the person, depending on how serious it gets. Your safety is more important than allowing a toxic person to threaten your livelihood.
