Most of us strive to love and be loved in return, but it’s rarely the way we pictured it as a young child. Love is far more complicated than that. It can be messy, it presents challenges, and it takes you to highs and lows. But when it’s all said and done, love is always worth it. Here’s some more harsh truths about love.
1. Your partner shouldn’t be your “everything”
It’s unhealthy to expect your partner to fulfil every role in your life. They can’t be your best friend, your only friend, your soul mate, your therapist, and your partner. You need to have different people in your life because it adds variety. It means that you’re not relying on just one person for love and happiness. Other people can love you too, and you should let them.
2. Getting married isn’t always the answer
For some people, getting married is a lifelong dream of theirs, so much so that they’re willing to ignore the problems in their relationship. They think that getting married will magically right all the wrongs in their relationship and bring them closer to their partner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this won’t fix anything. It will just lead to a messy divorce further down the line!
3. You’ll get hurt
Let’s face it, no one wants to get hurt. None of us fall in love intending to get hurt, either. But the truth is it’s inevitable. Whether it’s done intentionally or unintentionally, the people you love will hurt you. And you’ll hurt them, too. But it’s what you do with the hurt that matters — use it to make yourself stronger and more resilient.
4. It’s possible for anyone to fall out of love
This is a difficult pill to swallow, but even the person who tells you that they’re madly in love with could fall out of love with you further down the line, even if they say they never will. All it takes is a change in circumstances. However, you can’t let it destroy your self-esteem. Quite often, it’s not about you. It’s about them. Their feelings have changed, so you have to accept that and hold your head up high. You can and will fall in love again.
5. Living together could ruin everything
Moving in together is a big step, and it’s safe to say that many couples jump into it too prematurely. You see, it’s the ultimate test. If you love spending so much time with them, then you might assume that living together will be a blast. However, this is when you get to know them in a different light. You see parts of them they might never have revealed. You’ll get to know their hidden quirks and the less desirable parts of them. If it doesn’t bother you, that’s great. But for some couples, it’s where they draw the line.
6. Loving someone else might make you lose yourself
A lot of people talk about how wonderful it is to love someone, and it’s true. Loving someone is one of the best things you can do. But sometimes, you lose something in the process — you lose yourself. You become so consumed by this love you have for that person that you don’t extend that same love to yourself. You neglect your own feelings and your own responsibilities. You do everything for them, but so little for yourself. At times like these, you need to step back and stop spending so much time together. You have to put yourself first!
7. You have nothing without trust
No relationship will survive without trust; however, it’s not so easy to let someone in and trust them. Some people will argue that if you love someone you should immediately trust them, but for someone who has been let down and hurt in the past, it can be difficult. Therefore, you should work on yourself and build your self-esteem first so that you can give your full trust to another person.
8. Love doesn’t equal happiness
Love and happiness don’t always go hand in hand. While it’s true that love can bring moments of happiness, it doesn’t extend to all areas of your life. There’s only so many holes that love from another person can fill. If you’re not happy with other aspects of your life, such as your career and your other personal relationships, you won’t be entirely happy. You know, love can’t fix everything.
9. It doesn’t always last
Some relationships will last a very long time and others will be fleeting, but that doesn’t have to be seen as a bad thing. When a relationship ends, it’s normal to feel crushed for a while. But you need to remember that every relationship serves a purpose. It teaches you so much about yourself, love, and what you need out of a relationship. The end of one relationship could lead to the start of a much better one.
10. You can love someone without being in love with them
Sometimes, it can be hard to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with them, and this is one of the reasons why many people stay in an unhappy relationship. They know they love the other person, and they don’t want to hurt them, so they choose to stay. But being in a relationship with someone who you’re not in love with will slowly eat away at you. You won’t ever be happy until you make the decision to leave.
11. Love isn’t a good enough reason to stay
“But I love them” is one of the top excuses for staying in an unhealthy relationship. Even when it’s obvious that things aren’t working out, they’ll cling on to the idea that love will save the day. But love isn’t always a good enough reason to hold on. Will things ever change? Will you continue to get hurt every day? It’s just not worth it, no matter how much you love them. In fact, walking away is the kindest thing you can for them and for yourself.
12. Love means nothing if you’re not compatible
Compatibility is a tricky obstacle in many relationships. Many people start dating for a while before they realize their incompatibility issues, and then they feel like they’re too in love to walk away. However, you’re never going to be happy. If you love going out on dates and watching movies together, but it’s your partner’s idea of hell, it’s not going to work. You’ll be sacrificing your happiness for the sake of theirs, and that’s unfair. Find someone who you’re truly compatible with, then you don’t need to force anything.
13. Love can be a blessing and a curse
Who says love is never painful? No one, right? While love can be the most amazing feeling in the world, it can also create a lot of new problems for you. You might find yourself feeling scared, anxious, worried, incredibly jealous and insecure. It can be hard to experience all of these feelings at once. Just remember that all of these feelings are necessary. They help you to grow and develop as a person. And they create amazing memories, too!
14. There’s such a thing as being too loving
Yes, you can love someone too much. If your idea of loving someone is to bombard them with messages, spend all of your free time with them, and beg them for more of their attention, then you know you’re taking it a step too far. Boundaries are an important part of a relationship. You need to separate yourself from your partner and accept that you have different lives. Sure, you love your partner, but you need to step back and give them some space. If you don’t, you’ll probably lose them.
15. If you’re constantly arguing, it’s not love
Arguments are bound to happen. Where there’s love, there’s passion, and from that, it creates conflict. However, there’s a difference between healthy arguments which happen occasionally and bad arguments that happen nearly all the time. If arguing has become part of your daily routine, don’t fool yourself into thinking this is normal. It’s not. Arguments alone are not a sign that you must love and care about each other a lot. Quite often, it’s a red flag telling you it’s time to leave.
