Ever wondered why that friend who seems to have it all together always seems to apologize for things that aren’t even their fault? Or maybe you’ve noticed that a colleague who is clearly talented always undersells their accomplishments? It’s not always easy to spot, but sometimes the people who seem the most confident are actually battling low self-esteem behind the scenes. Here are some habits that might clue you in:
1. You apologize excessively, even for things that aren’t your fault.
Have you ever bumped into someone and apologized profusely, even though they were clearly in the wrong? Over-apologizing can be a subtle sign of low self-esteem. It’s as if you’re subconsciously taking on the blame for everything, even things outside of your control. This might stem from a feeling that you’re not good enough and need to constantly make amends for your existence.
2. You downplay your accomplishments or skills.
When someone compliments you on a job well done, do you brush it off with a self-deprecating remark like, “Oh, it was nothing”? Downplaying your achievements might seem humble, but it can also be a way of minimizing your worth. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, it might be time to start recognizing your value and owning your successes.
3. You have trouble accepting compliments.
A simple “thank you” should suffice when someone compliments you, right? But if you struggle to accept praise without deflecting or minimizing it, it could be a sign of low self-esteem, per Healthline. You might feel like you don’t deserve the compliment or that the person giving it is mistaken. Learning to graciously accept compliments is a step toward believing in your own worth.
4. You constantly compare yourself to other people all the time.
In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. But if you find yourself constantly measuring your worth against everyone else’s highlight reels, it can be detrimental to your self-esteem. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and focusing on your own progress is more important than comparing yourself to someone else’s carefully curated online persona.
5. You’re overly sensitive to criticism.
Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for growth, but if you take every comment as a personal attack, it might indicate low self-esteem. It’s important to differentiate between helpful feedback and unkind remarks. Try to see criticism as an opportunity for improvement rather than a condemnation of your character.
6. You struggle to make decisions.
Do you agonize over even the simplest choices, like what to order for dinner? Difficulty making decisions can stem from a lack of confidence in your own judgment. People with low self-esteem might fear making the wrong choice and facing negative consequences. Learning to trust your instincts and accept that not every decision will be perfect is crucial.
7. You have difficulty saying no.
Are you a chronic people-pleaser who struggles to set boundaries? This can be a sign of low self-esteem. You might feel like your needs are less important than other people’s, or that you’ll be rejected if you assert yourself. Learning to say no when necessary is a powerful act of self-respect.
8. You are a perfectionist.
Striving for excellence is admirable, but if you’re never satisfied with your work, it could be a sign of perfectionism driven by low self-esteem. You might feel like you have to be perfect to be worthy of love and acceptance. Embracing your imperfections and recognizing that mistakes are a natural part of learning can be liberating.
9. You constantly seek validation from other people.
Do you frequently post on social media to see how many likes you get, or fish for compliments from friends and colleagues? While it’s natural to want to feel appreciated, constantly seeking external validation can be a sign of low self-esteem. It means you’re relying on others to tell you that you’re good enough, rather than believing it yourself. Learning to validate yourself and find satisfaction in your own achievements is key.
10. You fear rejection or abandonment.
If you constantly worry that people will leave you or that you won’t be good enough for them, it could be a sign of low self-esteem. This fear might manifest in clingy behavior or a reluctance to let people get too close. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, not fear.
11. You’re hesitant to try new things.
Stepping outside your comfort zone can be intimidating, but if you consistently avoid new experiences, it might be due to a lack of self-confidence. You might fear failure or embarrassment, which can hold you back from personal growth. Embracing new challenges and accepting that setbacks are part of the learning process can help boost your self-esteem.
12. You struggle to express your needs and wants.
If you find it difficult to communicate your needs and desires, it could be because you don’t believe you deserve to have them met. Perhaps you’re afraid of being seen as selfish or demanding. Remember, your needs are valid, and expressing them is essential for healthy relationships and personal well-being.
13. You focus on your flaws and shortcomings.
Everyone has imperfections, but if you’re constantly fixated on your perceived flaws, it can be a sign of low self-esteem. It’s important to recognize your strengths and celebrate your accomplishments, rather than dwelling on what you perceive as weaknesses. Remember, self-acceptance is a journey, not a destination.
14. You neglect your own needs.
Do you often put other people’s needs before your own, neglecting your health, well-being, or personal goals? This can be a symptom of low self-esteem, Verywell Mind explains. It’s crucial to prioritize self-care and recognize that taking care of yourself is not selfish, but necessary for a fulfilling life. Remember, you deserve to be happy and healthy, too.
