It’s kind of weird to think that manners somehow seem… old-fashioned these days. In reality, they’re timeless courtesies that we could all use a lot more of in life, and yet seem to be in short supply. Sure, a lot of people still say the requisite “please” and “thank you” (though a lot of people don’t), but there’s more to it than that. After all, these forgotten courtesies would go a long way in today’s world if they were brought back.
1. Handwritten thank you notes
These days, we’re more likely to send a quick text than we are to take time to pen a handwritten note that conveys genuine gratitude. For gifts, going above and beyond after an interview, or when someone’s helped you, this small effort makes a big impact. It’s more personal, showing you took the extra few minutes to show true appreciation.
2. Pulling out chairs (for anyone)
Chivalry isn’t outdated here. While there’s a time and a place for this, of course — it’d be a little bit weird if you did it for, say, your boss at work on Monday morning — doing it on a date is pretty classic and most women (and some men!) would find it romantic and really sweet.
3. RSVP-ing promptly (and actually following through on it)
Accepting invites, then canceling last minute is frustratingly common. Respect the host’s planning by responding on time. If you RSVP “yes,” bar true emergencies, honor your commitment. Being flaky throws a wrench in other people’s plans, and erodes trust.
4. Introducing yourself in a group
Joining a conversation where everyone already knows each other? Take the initiative! Instead of lurking awkwardly, a quick, “Hi, I’m Sarah, nice to meet you all” smooths entry, Harvard Business Review explains. It shows confidence and saves the existing group from having to awkwardly figure out how to include you.
5. Giving up your seat for people
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Public transport is a test of character. Notice those less able to stand – elderly, pregnant, those with small kids. Offering your seat isn’t about weakness on their part, it’s about basic decency. Even if they decline, the gesture shows you’re not oblivious in your own bubble.
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6. Using “inside voices” in public places
Loud phone calls in cafes, long personal chats on the bus… they force everyone to be an unwilling audience to your life. Respecting shared space includes volume control. Keep calls brief, use headphones, or step aside for longer conversations. It shows consideration for everyone’s peace.
7. Not correcting people in public (unless it’s really important)
Calling out minor errors in front of others is more about your ego than helping them. If it’s safety-related, of course, speak up! Otherwise, pull them subtly aside later or let it go. Public corrections are embarrassing, private ones build rapport rather than resentment.
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8. The art of focused conversation
Put the phone down when someone’s talking. Truly focused listening is rare. Be present, make eye contact, and don’t constantly check for notifications. This makes others feel heard and valued, while constant phone fiddling signals disinterest, even if it’s not intentional.
9. Offering help with heavy bags or doors
See someone struggling? “Can I help with that?” or holding the door extends basic kindness. Most people don’t expect assistance, so you offering it without being asked comes across as genuinely thoughtful, not performative politeness.
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10. The “excuse me” that other people actually hear
Barging through crowds without acknowledgement is rude, even if unintentional. A clear “excuse me” as you navigate close spaces makes you less human bulldozer, more considerate passer-by. It only takes a second but prevents annoyed sighs and inadvertent jostling.
11. Letting people off elevators, trains, etc. before boarding
That rush to cram yourself on before people exit creates an unpleasant bottleneck. Step aside, let folks out, then enter. It maximizes efficiency and minimizes shoving matches – a win-win! This courtesy demonstrates patience and respect for personal space.
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12. Turning down music/games in public
Blasting your phone’s sound on the bus isn’t sharing your taste, it’s polluting shared space. Use headphones or keep it silent. Same goes for loud conversations with your phone on speakerphone. Being aware of your impact on those nearby is a key component of good manners.
13. Bringing gifts for the host (even at casual get-togethers)
Showing up empty-handed presumes the host will cater to your every need. A small bottle of wine, dessert, a token item…it’s the thought that counts. It shows gratitude for the invitation and effort they’ve put into hosting, no matter how informal the gathering.
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14. Cleaning up after yourself in shared spaces
Leaving messes in office kitchens or public restrooms shows an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. Treat communal spaces with the same care you’d expect others to show in your own home. Clean up crumbs, toss your own trash… this basic consideration leaves the world a little better than you found it.
15. Not oversharing with strangers
The cashier doesn’t need to hear about your medical woes, nor does your Uber driver need a blow-by-blow of your relationship drama. Compartmentalize! Respect is partly about boundaries, and knowing not everyone wants a deep dive into your personal life at all times.
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16. Genuinely apologizing when you’re wrong
This takes maturity. Stubbornly denying fault even when you know you messed up erodes trust far faster than a genuine, “You’re right, I was out of line, I apologize.” Owning your mistakes builds respect; pretending you’re perfect just makes you seem untrustworthy.
17. Remembering (and using) people’s names
Everyone loves hearing their own name. Make an effort to remember a new acquaintance’s name and use it in conversation. It validates their existence as an individual, not just a random face in a crowd. This tiny action has an outsized impact on fostering positive connections.
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