Ever feel like you’re just going through the motions, not really sure who you are or what you want out of life? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We all go through periods of feeling lost or disconnected from our true selves. The good news is, there are steps you can take to rediscover who you really are! Let’s talk about ’em.
1. Revisit your old passions
Remember that guitar gathering dust in your closet? Or that half-finished novel in your Google Docs? Reconnecting with things that used to light you up can reinvigorate the parts of yourself you may have locked away. No one’s asking you to become a rock star to a New York Times best-seller (if that does happen—amazing!), but engaging with these things every now and again can bring joy and authenticity to your life.
2. Take a trip down memory lane
When you were a kid, nothing seemed impossible. Why else would your dream job be the person who names nail polish shades? Revisit those dreams—grab an old photo album or look at your secret diary (we know you still know where it is). Sure, those exact dreams might not fit your life now, but they can give you some clues about what truly excites you.
3. Try to be mindful
Self-help, blah blah blah—we know. But, according to Psychology Today, being present in the moment can help you tune into your authentic self. Maybe you can try meditation or simply just take a second with your breath for a few minutes each day. As you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you’ll start to recognize what truly aligns with your core self.
4. Follow your curiosity
What topics make you lose track of time when you’re reading about them? What conversations get you fired up? Pay attention to what naturally draws your interest, whether that’s the time-space continuum or the JonBenet Ramsay/Katy Perry conspiracy (do we see a podcast in your future?). It’s like following breadcrumbs that can get you closer and closer to the things that really matter.
5. Try on different hats
No, we’re not talking about newsboys or bowlers. We’re talking about volunteering for different causes, taking a variety of classes, or trying out new hobbies. Think of each experience as trying on a new identity—pay attention to which ones feel most authentic to you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll discover a passion for something completely unexpected.
6. Explore your creative side
You don’t have to be Van Gogh to benefit from creative expression. Try painting, writing poetry, dancing, or really any form of art that jumps out to you. The act of creating something tangible can help you tap into deeper parts of yourself and express emotions or ideas you might struggle to put into words.
7. Get back to nature
There’s something about being in nature that helps us feel more grounded and connected to ourselves. Take a hike, go camping, or just plop down in a park. Notice how you feel when you’re surrounded by trees, water, or mountains because, if nothing else, nature has a way of putting things into perspective and helping us recognize what’s truly important.
8. Focus on unplugging
Since we’re always scrolling on social media, it can be easy to lose touch with ourselves. Try this: turn off your phone, computer, and TV for a day. Scary, right? We know. But in that silence, you might hear the whisper of your true self. What thoughts come up when you’re not distracted? What do you feel drawn to do?
9. Say goodbye to your comfort zone
Routine is comfortable, sure. But you know what else? According to Inc.com, it’s also a creativity killer. When was the last time you did something that scared you a little? It doesn’t have to be something crazy like spelunking—try a new cuisine, take a different route to work, or strike up a conversation with a stranger.
10. Ask the people who know you best
Sometimes, others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Reach out to your closest friends and family and ask them what they think your strengths are, or what they love about you. Hearing about yourself from someone other than yourself could shine a light on some stuff you might’ve overlooked.
11. Embrace your quirks
You know those little oddities about yourself that you try to hide? It’s time to celebrate them! Maybe you have an encyclopedic knowledge of 80s pop music or a tendency to anthropomorphize household objects (same here). These quirks are part of what makes you uniquely you. And by embracing them, you’re connecting more to your authenticity, and the more you connect to that, the more confident you become in who you are.
12. Try out new perspectives
The truth is, we tend to get stuck in our own little bubbles. That’s why you should make an effort to connect with people from different backgrounds, cultures, or belief systems. Not only can these interactions can challenge your assumptions but they can really help you refine your own values and beliefs.
13. Let go of others’ expectations
It’s easy to get caught up in what we think we “should” be doing. But whose expectations are you really trying to meet? Your parents? Society’s? Take a hard look at the goals you’re pursuing and ask yourself if they truly align with what you want, not what others want for you.
14. Take a hard look at your relationships
The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on how we see ourselves and the world. So, which relationships make you feel energized and authentic? Which ones leave you feeling drained or like you’re playing a role? Nurturing positive relationships and setting boundaries in not-so-positive ones can help you stay true to yourself.
15. Enjoy the journey
Here’s the thing: discovering who you are isn’t a destination, it’s quite literally a lifelong journey. You’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly have it all figured out. And that’s okay! Allow yourself to evolve, to change your mind, to grow—the “real you” isn’t a fixed point.
