Hopefully, your relationship is already, in and of itself, a loving one! But the thing about love is that you can’t have too much. We can always be a little kinder, a little more intentional, etc. We sing songs about “endless love” for a reason! Whether you’re looking for more of a good thing, or have hit a bit of a rut, here are some easy ways to make your relationship more loving:
1. Take notes!
Maybe it sounds silly, but it’s a game-changer. Make a note file on your phone. Write down their coffee order, their favorite restaurant, what flowers they like. Add reminders in your calendar for their big meetings and presentations. Life is busy and crazy, and it’s natural that once in a while you order a mocha instead of a macchiato. But taking the initiative to help yourself remember says a lot about how much your partner matters to you!
2. Prioritize date nights.
Cliché advice? Yeah, definitely. But clichés are clichés for a reason. In this case, it’s because it works. Keeping regular date nights on the calendar shows that you prioritize one another. It shows that time spent together matters. This is an easy way to foster closeness and love in your relationship, Psychology Today explains. It doesn’t have to be fancy!
3. Actually PLAN the date nights (take turns)!
It doesn’t have to be fancy…but it could be! At the very least, it needs to be planned. In other words, you don’t want to wake up, remember it’s date night, and then end up at that one default Mexican place. Your partner deserves the effort of a night that’s intentional. And so do you! Take turns planning nights that make one another feel special. The effort will pay off!
4. Support their interests.
If your partner is a painter, help them never run out of watercolor paper. If they love video games, maybe set up a little snack cart next to their gaming area. Be there on opening night for their community theater productions — flowers in hand. Their interests are part of what makes them the person you love. Acknowledge and appreciate that!
5. Little things go a long way.
Seriously. Bring them a Diet Coke when you come home from work. Clean up the beard hairs in the sink. Cook a meal that they like. Intentional doesn’t have to mean huge. In fact, small can be even better than big — because small can be consistent. A relationship, a life, is built on a thousand tiny choices. Make good ones!
6. Put the phones down — just for a little while.
Don’t spend all your free time together scrolling through TikTok. It’s too easy, I know, and it’s not inherently wrong, but it’s also not actively doing any good. Especially for your relationship. At some point in the day, whether at dinner or right before bed (or both), be intentional about putting away the devices and having real conversation. Go beyond “How was your day? Good? Yeah, same.” Otherwise, it’s all too easy to wake up one morning and realize you haven’t had a real conversation with the person you love in a week.
7. Find a shared hobby/activity.
This could be just about anything! If you live near some great hiking trails, try them out! Maybe start a garden together. Start a couch to 5K program. Work through a cookbook together! The options are endless, and the benefits of spending this time together will be incredible! When you find just the right hobby, it’s sure to bring more love to your relationship.
8. Remember the early days.
What you did in those early relationship days, those very first dates, obviously were not inconsequential. Did you send sweet texts throughout the day? Did you put more effort into planning the dates, into your appearance? Every now and again, take a page from that chapter of your story. Remind yourself and your partner of the reason you fell for one another!
9. Share the load.
This is vital! If they’re having an extra stressful time at work, maybe you take on an extra chore or two. Offer to take over meal planning. Show them that you’re here for them, that they don’t have to carry it all by themselves. After all, isn’t that why we all want to find our person? So we don’t have to carry all the heavy things alone? Show your partner, even in small ways, that you’re their person — that you’re right there beside them!
10. Verbalize appreciation for all they do.
Really, we all just want to feel seen. We all want to be appreciated. I’m sure you do, even if you don’t acknowledge it. You’re human. Well, so is your partner. They need to know that their contributions to the relationship, to the life you’re building, matter. Especially to the person with whom they’re building that life! Your appreciation means the world to them. Be loud about it, Prevention urges!
11. Set goals together.
These can, of course, be major life goals. But they can also be easier ones. Things like, “Let’s try all the Thai restaurants in the city this year.” Or a shared fitness goal! Working towards something together will help you adopt a team mindset. It reminds you that you’re for one another, and that you’re in this thing together.
12. Avoid unnecessary criticism.
This doesn’t mean to become a doormat, or to avoid voicing your needs. This is about the little things. Things that don’t really matter all that much. Like, does it really matter, in the grand scheme of things, that they cut their pasta with their fork? Is it insane? Yeah, possibly. But not the end of the world. And not worth tearing them down over it. Choose your words carefully!
13. Be spontaneous!
Planned dates and intentionality are super important, obviously. But spontaneity matters, too! Come home with the random bouquet of flowers. Text them on their lunch break with the QR code for last-minute concert tickets. Keep things exciting! Remind yourselves that life is an adventure, and that you’re lucky to walk through it with this each other!
14. Remember that intimacy is more than the bedroom…
Intimacy is also good conversation. It’s working together. It’s familiarity. It’s the easiness that comes from going about your day with a person you love. Don’t take any of that for granted. Cherish the cuddles on the couch during movie night, the holding of hands on a busy sidewalk. Those moments matter, too, and they deserve to be noticed!
15. Try saying “I love you because…”
Hopefully, you know that your partner loves you, and vice versa. This post is written assuming that isn’t up in the air. But sometimes, it’s nice to be reminded of why. It’s nice to know that your partner loves your sense of humor, or the way you care for people. Make sure you’re making that known. It makes your partner feel special, and reminds you just how lucky you are to have them!
