Sometimes even the nicest guys slip up and expose a bit of an arrogant side. Of course, it’s not always intentional — often, it’s subtle stuff they’re blind to, but it still affects how women perceive them. Here are some of the most eye rolling-ly self-absorbed things they do in women’s eyes. A little awareness could go a long way, guys!
1. Talking over or interrupting women
Even if not done maliciously, it sends the message that your thoughts are more valuable than hers. Let her finish her sentences! Show you’re actively listening by building on what she said, not just waiting for your turn to speak. You’ll get your chance, we promise.
2. “Mansplaining” things she already knows
Assuming a woman needs a man to explain something to her, especially simple concepts, is condescending. Ask if she wants clarification before launching into a lecture. Even better, assume she’s competent and let her ask for help if she needs it!
3. Needing to be the smartest person in the room
Constantly correcting people on minor details or one-upping their stories makes you seem insecure, not brilliant, Psychology Today warns. Being genuinely interested in what other people have to say is way more attractive than needing to prove your superior knowledge.
4. Dismissing or minimizing women’s opinions, especially on subjects considered “feminine”
Saying things like “You’re just being emotional” or scoffing at women expressing enthusiasm for traditionally feminine hobbies is dismissive and implies they’re not valid thinkers, especially on anything outside of “guy interests.”
5. Talking down to service workers or people in jobs deemed “lesser”
Treating retail staff, waiters, etc. rudely reveals a misplaced sense of superiority. How you treat those who can do nothing for you reveals true character. Being kind and respectful to everyone is attractive.
6. Bragging, whether about accomplishments or material stuff
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Humble confidence is great. Constantly working your achievements or expensive stuff into conversation is cringe-worthy. It shows an obsession with external validation. Let your actions speak for you, and let other people discover how interesting you are naturally.
7. Needing to always be “right” in disagreements, even about trivial stuff
Refusing to admit even a small mistake shows inflexibility and a fragile ego. Owning up to a wrong call builds trust, not admitting weakness. Plus, women often notice details guys miss, so sometimes they are genuinely right!
8. Not pulling your weight in a relationship
Assuming housework, childcare, etc. are all “women’s work” is lazy and unappealing. Modern relationships are partnerships. Taking initiative with chores without being asked, or planning dates – these actions show you care and make her feel valued, not just the domestic support staff.
9. Expecting special treatment or always wanting to be the center of attention
Feeling entitled to cut lines, hog the conversation, or believing rules don’t apply to you reeks of arrogance. Humility goes a long way. Recognizing everyone’s time is valuable, and taking genuine interest in the lives of others is more impressive than any self-promoting speech.
10. Using negging or subtle insults disguised as flirtation
These backhanded compliments were a toxic pickup artist tactic. They’re designed to undermine a woman’s confidence, making her more susceptible to manipulation. Genuine attraction is built on mutual respect, not tearing her down to artificially boost your own ego.
11. Assuming a woman is attracted to you simply because she’s being polite
Misreading basic friendliness as a sign she’s into you makes for awkward situations. Pay attention to her body language and tone. Is she actively engaging, or just being nice? If unsure, don’t be afraid to respectfully ask, “Would you like to go out sometime?” This is clearer and less presumptuous. If she says no, accept it and back off.
12. Being competitive about EVERYTHING, even chill activities that are supposed to be fun
Refusing to lose, even at silly games, reveals you’re overly focused on “winning” as a measure of your worth. Letting her score a point at mini-golf without throwing a tantrum is, oddly enough, way more attractive than needing to prove your superiority all the time.
13. Unrealistic expectations about appearance in a partner
Fixating on specific body types or demanding your partner always look flawless shows shallow priorities. Appreciating a woman’s inner beauty as much as her outer appearance makes you less intimidating, and far more likely to find a real connection.
14. Body shaming – whether it’s towards other women, strangers, or even your own partner
Judging someone’s worth based on their looks is both arrogant and hurtful. Comments about weight, age, or features chip away at self-esteem in the people you care about. Focus on character, not appearance, and build up the women around you rather than tear them down.
15. Giving unsolicited advice
The assumption that a woman needs you to “fix” something for her is annoying. Unless safety’s at risk, wait for her to ask before playing Captain Know-It-All. Maybe she likes figuring things out herself, maybe her solution just looks different from yours.
16. Refusing to apologize sincerely when you’ve messed up
Trying to weasel out of taking responsibility with a half-hearted “I’m sorry if I offended you” shows arrogance. Own your impact, apologize directly, and, most importantly, change your behavior so it doesn’t happen again. PsychCentral has some great tips for giving a genuine apology, if you need help.
17. Dismissing women’s experiences and feelings as irrelevant or exaggerated
This happens a lot when discussing issues like harassment or sexism. Minimizing experiences you haven’t personally had displays a lack of empathy and makes women feel unheard. Believe women, try to understand perspectives different from your own, and use your voice to support them, not diminish them.
18. Not growing or learning from your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, of course, but arrogance is when you refuse to reflect, own up, or try to do better. Growth is hot! A man willing to learn from past stumbles, especially when it comes to how he treats women, is a man worth building something real with.
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