When you first meet a narcissist, they’re usually incredibly charming. However, as you spend more time with them, you start to realize how much bad stuff is beneath the charm. Once you decide you don’t want to deal with them anymore you might think you’re free of them, but sadly, that’s rarely the case. Narcissists won’t leave you alone at first and will try several things before you leave them behind for good.
1. They’ll use nostalgia as a weapon.
As Kitanya Harrison explains on Medium, when you try to cut a narcissist out of their life, they’ll try to use nostalgia as a weapon. They’ll send you pictures of the two of you smiling and recall good times the two of you had to try to pull you back in. However, it’s important to keep in mind that this isn’t about missing you, it’s about controlling you.
2. They’ll turn up the charm.
Narcissistic people are naturally very charming. It’s how they’re able to manipulate so many people. So, when you try to cut them out of your life, they’ll turn up the charm. They’ll suddenly start showering you with compliments and acting like the perfect partner. They do this to get the power back, not because they feel this way genuinely.
3. They’ll put on a public performance.
When you leave a narcissist behind, they’ll change their entire persona. They’ll put on a public performance that makes it seem like you were the one in the wrong the whole time. They do this to try to discredit you and make it seem like they’re the victim. This might get some people to sympathize with them, but you need to hold firm, or you’ll never be free of them.
4. They’ll engage in emotional blackmail.
Narcissists will try to manipulate you in any way to maintain control. They’ll use your feelings to control you, making you feel guilty for everything that’s happened.
5. They’ll use your kids against you.
If you’re trying to get a divorce from a narcissist, be prepared for them to try to use your kids against you. They’ll feed lies to your kids about you to try to get them on their side. It’s crucial to document everything and seek professional support to protect your kids and win custody.
6. They’ll try to sabotage your reputation.
Don’t be surprised if a narcissist tries to spread lies to tarnish your reputation, both professionally and personally. It’s a petty tool that narcissists will use when they’re feeling vindictive.
7. They’ll spin things against you.
You should expect a narcissist to spread rumors about you after you leave them behind. They’ll make up completely false stories that make them look like a helpless victim and make you look like the devil. Although this can be hard to endure, the people who know you best won’t be swayed by their stories.
8. They’ll try to mess with your money.
If you were in a serious relationship with a narcissist, be prepared for them to use financial foul play. They’ll drain your joint accounts, blow tons of money, and refuse to pay money they owe you. Make sure you protect your assets before you cut off a narcissist to avoid this happening to you.
9. They’ll create a legal nightmare.
If you try to divorce a narcissist, they’ll try to use the legal system against you. They won’t even care about getting their assets. They want a prolonged legal battle because they want to prolong their influence over you. Get strong legal counsel and lean on them for guidance.
10. They’ll bombard you with texts, calls, and cyberstalking.
You should expect a technological battle when separating yourself from a narcissist. They won’t leave you alone when it comes to texts and calls. They’ll even cyberstalk you on all of your social media accounts. Don’t engage with them and eventually, they should give up.
11. They’ll try to bring in a third party to create jealousy.
Narcissists love to use other people as puppets. So, don’t be surprised if they try to bring in a third party to create jealousy. They’ll use your people against you to make you feel ganged up on or isolated. It’s a tactic to force you back to them.
12. They’ll try to manipulate your loved ones.
When you cut off a narcissist, don’t be surprised if you start to notice them around your friends or family members. They’ll try to ingratiate themselves with the people you love to get close to you again. To avoid this, you should warn your friends as soon as you see them with the narcissist.
13. They’ll probably give you the silent treatment.
Sometimes when you try to get rid of a narcissist, they’ll go completely quiet and ice you out. They do this to try to make you feel insignificant. Although the silence can be unnerving, it’s a sign that you have more power.
14. They’ll go through huge emotional shifts.
Be prepared for huge mood swings from narcissists when you try to leave them behind. They’ll send you love bombs one minute, and be ice-cold the next. This is a tactic they use to try to keep you off-balance. Try to ignore them entirely.
15. They’ll exit your life without warning.
Eventually, once you deal with everything a narcissist throws at you, they might suddenly disappear completely, never to be heard from again. It might feel a little odd, but it’s the first step towards freedom. Enjoy it and move forward with your life!
