Look, we’ve all met guys who seem to be stuck in perpetual boyhood mode. They’re more focused on their next Call of Duty marathon than building a real partnership. While there’s nothing wrong with having some childlike wonder, if your man consistently exhibits immature behaviors, it may be time for a serious conversation about manning up.
1. He Always Puts His Boys First
A mature man knows how to balance his friendships with his romantic relationship. He understands that while hanging out with the guys is important, it shouldn’t constantly take precedence over quality time with his partner. If your guy regularly ditches date night to pound Jager bombs with his college buds or goes MIA whenever his friends are around, he clearly hasn’t figured out his priorities. You want a partner who values your time together and makes an effort to nurture your bond, not a giant man-baby you have to share with his bros. A real man knows how to balance his social life with his love life and understands that a healthy relationship requires investment from both partners.
2. He Can’t Adult For His Life
Part of being a grown-up is taking care of boring adult responsibilities without being nagged or reminded. This means holding down a steady job, managing money wisely, paying bills on time, and generally keeping his life in order. If your dude can’t seem to handle these basic tasks without constant prodding, congratulations—you’ve adopted a dependent, not a boyfriend. A mature man takes initiative and handles his business without expecting his partner to act like his mother or personal assistant. He understands that being a responsible adult is non-negotiable in a serious relationship and takes pride in pulling his own weight.
3. He Thinks “Serious Talks” Are Only For Ordering Drinks
Here’s a shocker—healthy relationships require open, honest communication about real issues. This means being able to maturely discuss things like the future of your relationship, shared goals and values, and conflicts that arise. If your overgrown frat boy clams up whenever you try to broach an important topic, he’s giving you a preview of his emotional immaturity. A grown man understands that tough conversations are necessary for a relationship to thrive and is willing to work through challenges as a team. Find yourself a man who can use his words and isn’t afraid to tackle the big stuff head-on.
4. His Definition of “Clean” Would Make a Haz-Mat Team Shudder
There’s bachelor-pad messy, and then there’s “call the CDC” filthy. A grown man understands that dish fairies aren’t real and toilets don’t scrub themselves. He takes pride in maintaining a clean, comfortable living space and doesn’t expect his partner to act as his personal maid service. If your guy’s idea of cleaning is kicking his dirty laundry under the bed or letting dirty dishes pile up until they develop new forms of penicillin, he’s not just messy—he’s inconsiderate. A mature man understands that a tidy home is a sign of respect for himself and his partner and takes responsibility for his share of the household chores.
5. He Expects You to Be His Therapist, Coach, and Mom All in One
A mature man understands that his partner is not his therapist, life coach, or mommy substitute. He takes responsibility for his own emotional well-being and doesn’t expect you to fix all his problems or cater to his every need. If your guy constantly dumps his baggage on you and expects you to be his 24/7 emotional support system, it’s a sign that he might have some growing up to do. A grown man knows how to manage his own emotions and doesn’t rely on his partner to be his sole source of validation and support. If your dude can’t seem to function without constant hand-holding and cheerleading, it might be time to set some boundaries and encourage him to take ownership of his own growth and development.
6. His Communication Style is Straight Out of a Teen Drama
If your beau’s preferred method of conflict resolution involves slamming doors, giving the silent treatment, or posting passive-aggressive memes on social media, you’re dating a 14-year-old in a man’s body. Mature adults understand that healthy relationships require open, direct communication and a willingness to work through issues without resorting to petty mind games. If your guy can’t express his feelings without throwing a temper tantrum or ghosting you for days on end, he’s got some serious growing up to do. Find yourself a man who can use his big-boy words and handle conflict like an adult.
7. He Thinks “Date Night” Means Netflix and Chill
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a cozy night in binge-watching your favorite shows. But if your guy’s idea of romance is always Netflix and chill, he might need a refresher on how to court a woman. A mature man understands the importance of putting effort into the relationship and planning special outings that show he cares. If your guy can’t be bothered to plan a real date or thinks that “showing up” is all it takes to keep the spark alive, it’s time to raise your standards. You deserve a man who knows how to treat you like a queen both inside and outside the bedroom.
8. He’s Allergic to Apologies
We all mess up sometimes, but a mature man owns his mistakes and apologizes when he’s in the wrong. If your guy has a harder time saying “I’m sorry” than a vegan at a steakhouse, he might have some growing up to do. Admitting fault and making amends is a sign of emotional maturity and respect for your partner. If your man would rather deflect blame, make excuses, or gaslight you than take responsibility for his actions, that’s a big red flag. Find yourself a man who has the emotional intelligence to acknowledge when he’s screwed up and the integrity to make things right.
9. His Idea of Cooking is Microwave Burritos
Look, nobody’s expecting your man to be Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. But if your guy’s culinary skills begin and end with “add water and stir,” he might need a crash course in adulting. Knowing how to prepare a few basic meals is a life skill that every grown man should have. If your dude thinks “cooking” means nuking a frozen burrito or pouring cereal into a bowl, it’s time for a come to Jesus moment. A mature man understands that being able to feed himself (and his partner) is a basic part of being a functional adult. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around a kitchen.
10. His Car Looks Like a Mobile Landfill
We’ve all had that moment where our car is a little messier than we’d like. But if your guy’s ride looks like a rolling dumpster, complete with fast food wrappers, empty energy drink cans, and mysterious odors, he might need a lesson in basic hygiene. A grown man understands that his car is an extension of himself and takes pride in keeping it clean and well-maintained. If your dude thinks “detailing” means throwing his trash in the backseat, it’s time for a serious talk about adulting. A man who can’t be bothered to clean up after himself is not exactly husband material.
11. He Has the Emotional Range of a Teaspoon
Emotional intelligence is a key marker of maturity, and a grown man should be in touch with his feelings and able to express them in a healthy way. If your guy thinks that “feelings” are something that only happens to other people, he might need a crash course in emotional literacy. A mature man isn’t afraid to show vulnerability, empathy, and affection. If your dude shuts down or lashes out whenever things get too “mushy,” it’s a sign that he has some growing up to do in the emotional department. Find yourself a man who can open up and connect with you on a deeper level.
12. His Idea of Conflict Resolution is a Twitter Rant
In the age of social media, it’s easier than ever to air your dirty laundry in public. But a mature man understands that some things are better handled in private. If your guy’s first instinct when you have a disagreement is to subtweet about it or post a passive-aggressive Facebook status, he might need a refresher on adult communication. A grown man knows how to have difficult conversations face-to-face and doesn’t need to involve the entire internet in his relationship drama. If your dude can’t resist the urge to put your business on blast, it’s time to find someone with a little more emotional maturity.
13. He Can’t Handle Constructive Criticism
Part of being an adult is being able to take feedback and use it to grow and improve. If your guy has a meltdown every time you offer a suggestion or constructive critique, he might have some maturing to do. A grown man can handle feedback without getting defensive or taking it as a personal attack. He understands that his partner’s input comes from a place of love and wants to use it to better himself and the relationship. If your dude can’t handle even the gentlest of suggestions without throwing a tantrum, it’s a sign that he has some growing up to do.
14. His Idea of Manscaping is Letting His Nose Hair Grow Out
Personal grooming is an important part of adulting, and a grown man takes pride in his appearance. If your guy’s idea of manscaping is letting his nose hair grow out and his toenails curl into talons, it might be time for a crash course in basic hygiene. A mature man understands that taking care of himself is not only important for his own health and well-being, but also shows respect for his partner. If your dude can’t be bothered to trim his ear hair or use a scrub brush occasionally, it’s a sign that he might need to step up his grooming game.
15. His Idea of a Balanced Diet is Pizza and Beer
Eating like a college kid might be fine when you’re actually in college, but a grown man understands the importance of a balanced diet and taking care of his health. If your guy’s idea of a balanced meal is a pizza with both pepperoni and vegetables, it might be time for a nutrition intervention. A mature man knows that fueling his body with real food is important for his energy, mood, and overall well-being. If your dude can’t resist the siren song of fast food and thinks that “salad” is a dirty word, it’s a sign that he might need to reevaluate his relationship with food.
16. He Thinks Budgeting is a Type of Bird
If your guy’s financial planning strategy seems to be “YOLO” and his savings account is emptier than a frat house fridge on Sunday morning, he might need a crash course in Adulting 101. A mature man understands the importance of living within his means, setting financial goals, and planning for the future. He doesn’t blow his entire paycheck on impulse buys or expect his partner to bail him out when his reckless spending catches up with him. If your man’s money management skills are as underdeveloped as his laundry-folding abilities, it’s time for a serious talk about fiscal responsibility.
