For some of us, being alone feels about as comfortable as wearing a sweater made of metal dish brushes. But here’s the thing: learning to enjoy your own company is a genuine superpower that can transform your life. Let’s dive into some real, practical ways to make solo time feel less like solitary confinement.
1. Start With Training Wheels
Don’t dive into a weekend solo retreat if you can barely handle an hour alone. Start small—like, really small. Try 15 minutes of intentional alone time where you’re not just scrolling on your phone or distracting yourself with TV. Sit in a comfy spot with your favorite drink and just exist. Feel weird? Good! That’s normal. Think of it like building muscle—you wouldn’t start with lifting 300 pounds, so don’t start with 8 hours of solitude.
2. Create a “Date Night” With Yourself
Stop treating alone time like something you have to endure and start treating it like something special. Get as excited about your solo plans as you would about a hot date. Cook that fancy meal you’ve been wanting to try (and yes, use the good plates), light some candles, and put on music you love. The key is to stop waiting for someone else to make moments special for you—you can make them yourself!
3. Start Taking Solo Adventures
Start with easy missions: grab coffee at a busy café, watch a movie at the theater, or try that new lunch spot. Bring a book if you need a security blanket (phones don’t count—they’re just a portal to escape the present moment). Notice how literally no one cares that you’re alone because they’re too busy thinking about themselves. Bonus points if you can make eye contact with another solo diner and share that secret “yeah, we’re cool enough to do this” nod.
4. Turn Your Space into a Sanctuary
Your environment can either feed your loneliness or nourish you. Make your living space somewhere you actually want to be. This doesn’t mean spending a fortune—maybe it’s a cozy reading nook with soft blankets, a meditation corner with cushions, or just a clean, clutter-free space that doesn’t remind you of all your life responsibilities. The goal is to make your space feel less like somewhere you’re stuck and more like somewhere you’d choose to be.
5. Develop a Relationship With Your Thoughts
If you’re running from alone time, you’re probably running from your thoughts. Here’s a fun fact: they’ll catch up eventually, so better to make friends with them now. Start a journal, not the “dear diary” kind (unless that’s your jam), but more like a brain dump. No filters, no judgment, just raw honesty about what’s going on in your head. You might be surprised to discover you’re actually pretty interesting company.
6. Create Something (Anything!)
When you’re creating, you’re never really alone—you’re hanging out with your imagination. Try something that engages your hands and mind: paint (badly is fine), write (terrible first drafts welcome), cook (burning things is part of the learning curve), or craft (Pinterest fails are still attempts). The point is to get so absorbed in making something that you forget you’re supposed to be feeling lonely. Plus, you might actually make something cool, and then you’ll have proof that you can do awesome things all by yourself.
7. Build a Sacred Solo Ritual
Humans love rituals—they give us a sense of control and comfort. Create one that feels special: maybe it’s a Sunday morning where you make fancy coffee and read in bed, or a Wednesday evening face mask session with your favorite playlist. The key is consistency. When you have something you regularly do alone and actually look forward to, being alone starts feeling less like an empty space to fill and more like a fun appointment with yourself.
8. Become Your Own Best Company
What would make you a better companion to yourself? Maybe it’s developing a new skill, learning about interesting topics so you can have better conversations with yourself, or working through some personal growth. When you genuinely enjoy your own company, you stop using other people as a distraction from yourself.
9. Get Familiar With Productive Puttering
Sometimes structured alone time feels overwhelming. Enter: productive puttering. This is where you move through your space doing small, satisfying tasks without pressure. Organize one drawer, water your plants, and rearrange your books by color. It’s mindful but not mentally taxing, productive but not pressured. It’s amazing how arranging your sock drawer can sometimes lead to arranging your thoughts.
10. Build a Physical Relationship With Yourself
No, not that kind (although self-love is important too). Get to know your physical self through movement—stretch, dance when no one’s watching, try yoga, or just lay on the floor and feel how your body connects with the ground. Being alone doesn’t mean being still. Movement can help you feel more connected to yourself and less focused on the absence of others.
11. Become an Explorer
Walk down streets you’ve never taken, find new bakeries, and discover hidden parks. Being alone is way more fun when you’re on a mission of discovery. Take pictures, make mental notes, and become the expert on your area’s hidden gems. You’re not alone—you’re on a solo expedition, and that sounds way cooler.
12. Create a Comfort Menu
Make a list of things that genuinely comfort you when you’re alone (and no, scrolling Instagram doesn’t count). Maybe it’s certain music, specific scents, favorite textures, or particular activities. When alone time starts feeling overwhelming, pick something from your comfort menu. It’s like having an emergency kit for your emotions, but make it cozy.
13. Practice Active Rest
Being alone doesn’t mean you need to be constantly doing something. Learn the art of active rest—time where you’re intentionally doing “nothing” but in a way that feels nourishing rather than empty. This might mean cloudwatching, listening to rain sounds, or just breathing deeply. It’s about finding peace in stillness rather than trying to escape it.
14. Build a Relationship With Nature
Nature never makes you feel alone—there’s always something happening, whether it’s birds chattering, leaves rustling, or clouds shifting. Spend time outside regularly, even if it’s just sitting on your balcony or in a nearby park. There’s something about being surrounded by things growing and changing that makes solitude feel more natural and less lonely.
15. Reframe Your Story About Alone Time
Stop thinking of alone time as something that happens to you when other people are busy, and start seeing it as something you choose because you value yourself. Instead of “I have to spend the evening alone,” try “I get to spend the evening with myself.” It’s not about convincing yourself you love being alone all the time—it’s about seeing solo time as an opportunity rather than a punishment.
