Life isn’t a race, but we all want to feel like we’re moving forward, growing, and achieving our goals. Yet sometimes, the biggest obstacles to our progress aren’t external challenges, but our own behaviors and habits. The tricky part? Many of these self-sabotaging behaviors are so subtle or ingrained that we might not even realize we’re doing them. Well, it’s time to shine a light on the 13 behaviors that may be secretly holding some of us back.
1. Procrastinating and calling it “preparing”
“Just a bit more research” or “I’ll start when conditions are perfect,” are this person’s go-to. People who consistently put off taking action often find themselves watching opportunities slip away. They mistake motion for progress, spending hours planning, researching, or waiting for the “right moment” instead of actually doing it. The truth? There’s rarely a perfect time to start.
2. Complaining rather than taking action
A bit of complaining can be cathartic, but when it becomes a default mode, it’s a problem. Chronic complainers spend so much energy focusing on problems that they have none left to find answers. Meanwhile, those who channel their frustrations into problem-solving or constructive action tend to make progress, even in challenging circumstances.
3. Consistently choosing comfort over growth
This might manifest as staying in a dead-end job because it’s easy, avoiding social situations that could lead to new opportunities, or sticking to skills and knowledge they’ve already mastered. They might not realize that this preference for comfort is actually uncomfortable in the long run, leading to feelings of stagnation and missed potential. Those who thrive tend to regularly push their boundaries, understanding that temporary discomfort is the price of long-term growth and fulfillment.
4. Living beyond their means
The temptation to keep up with the Joneses can be strong, leading some people to consistently spend more than they earn. They might justify it as “investing in themselves” or “living life to the fullest,” not realizing they’re setting themselves up for financial stress and limited options in the future. Those who get ahead understand the power of living below their means, saving, and making intentional financial choices.
5. Surrounding themselves with negative people
We’re influenced by the people we spend the most time with, often more than we realize. Some people find themselves stuck in social circles that constantly reinforce negative attitudes and they might not see how this environment is holding them back. In contrast, those who make progress in life often consciously curate their social circles, seeking out relationships with positive, motivated, and inspiring people.
6. Waiting for motivation to strike
There’s a common misconception that successful people are always motivated. This leads some people to wait for that perfect surge of inspiration before taking action. They don’t realize that motivation often follows action, not the other way around. Those who move forward understand that discipline trumps motivation.
7. Dwelling on their past mistakes
While it’s important to learn from the past, some people get stuck there, constantly ruminating on previous failures or unfortunate circumstances. They don’t realize that this backward focus is preventing them from seeing and seizing present opportunities. Those who make progress have the ability to reflect on the past for lessons but then turn their gaze to the present and future.
8. Avoiding responsibility and blaming others
It’s tempting to point fingers when things go wrong, but consistently avoiding responsibility is a surefire way to stay stuck. Some people have a habit of blaming their boss, the economy, their upbringing, or just bad luck for their situations. What they don’t realize is that this mindset robs them of their power to change things. Those who move ahead in life practice radical responsibility—they may not control everything that happens to them, but they take full ownership of how they respond.
9. Refusing to adapt or learn new skills
Some people get comfortable with what they know and resist learning new technologies, methodologies, or ways of thinking. They might not realize it, but this stubbornness gradually makes them less relevant in their fields. On the other hand, those who embrace lifelong learning and adaptability tend to stay ahead of the curve.
10. Neglecting their health and well-being
They skimp on sleep, subsist on junk food, skip exercise, and ignore stress. While this might seem like dedication, it’s actually a fast track to burnout and health problems. Those who truly excel in life understand that their health is their most valuable asset. They prioritize self-care because they know it’s essential for a good, happy life.
11. Ignoring feedback or constructive criticism
It’s natural to want to defend ourselves when faced with criticism, but consistently dismissing or ignoring feedback can be a major hindrance to growth. Some people interpret all criticism as a personal attack, missing out on valuable insights that could help them improve. Those who advance in life tend to actively seek out feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable.
12. Neglecting to set clear, actionable goals
Drifting through life without clear direction might seem fun, but it often leads to a sense of stagnation and unfulfillment. Some people avoid setting specific goals because they’re afraid of commitment or failure. They don’t realize that this lack of direction is actually limiting their growth and achievements. Those who make significant progress in life tend to set clear, actionable goals.
13. Neglecting networking and relationship building
Some people focus solely on their work, thinking their efforts alone will be enough to propel them forward. They don’t realize that many opportunities come through relationships and networks. Those who advance in their careers and lives often prioritize building and maintaining a diverse network of genuine relationships, understanding that success is as much about who you know as what you know.
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