While most of us have our self-centered moments, some people take it to a whole new level. These are the ones who seem to have skipped the lesson on consideration and empathy, leaving the rest of us wondering if we’re dealing with a toddler trapped in an adult’s body. But how can you spot these masters of self-absorption? We’ve compiled a list of telltale signs that you might be dealing with a deeply selfish person.
1. They always steer the conversation back to themselves
You start talking about your recent promotion, and suddenly they’re regaling you with tales of their own career triumphs. These people have a talent for hijacking any discussion and making it all about them. It’s not that they’re necessarily trying to one-up you, they just genuinely believe that their experiences are the most interesting topic of conversation. Eye roll.
2. They don’t respect your time
To a deeply selfish person, your time is a renewable resource, endlessly available for their use. They’ll show up late without apology, cancel plans at the last minute when something better comes along, or keep you waiting while they finish “just one more thing.” In their mind, their time is precious, but yours? It’s expendable.
3. They never offer to help, but always expect it back
When you’re struggling with a heavy workload or personal issues, they’re mysteriously absent. But the moment they need a favor? Suddenly you’re their best friend and the only one who can help. They disappear when there’s work to be done, only to reappear when the rewards are being handed out. They’re freeloading, always finding ways to benefit from others’ efforts without contributing themselves.
4. They’re constantly name-dropping or bragging
Every conversation is an opportunity for the selfish person to remind you of their importance. They’ll casually mention their connections to celebrities or influential figures, or find ways to slip in references to their achievements or possessions. This behavior stems from a deep-seated need for admiration and validation.
5. They’re quick to anger when things don’t go their way
Minor inconveniences can trigger disproportionate reactions. A waiter gets their order wrong? Cue the meltdown. Traffic making them late? Watch out for road rage. It’s as if they believe the universe should align perfectly with their desires, and any deviation is a personal affront. This hair-trigger temper can make being around them feel scary.
6. They don’t respect other people’s property
“What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is also mine” could be the motto of a deeply selfish person. They might borrow things without asking, return items in poor condition, or even help themselves to your food or drinks without permission. They simply don’t register other people’s possessions as off-limits. In their mind, if they need or want something, they’re entitled to it.
7. They manipulate others to get what they want
They know how to push the right buttons to get their way, whether it’s through guilt-tripping, love-bombing, or playing the victim. They might use flattery to soften you up before making a request or create a sense of obligation to ensure compliance. This manipulation can be subtle and insidious, leaving you feeling used but unable to pinpoint exactly why.
8. They don’t respect confidentiality
Secrets and private information are just currency for the deeply selfish, to be traded for attention or advantage. If you confide in them, don’t be surprised to find your personal business becoming public knowledge. They might share your secrets under the guise of “concern” or use the information to gossip and make themselves seem important.
9. They have double standards
“Do as I say, not as I do” is a slogan for the deeply selfish. They’ll hold others to high standards while exempting themselves from the same rules. They might criticize a friend for being late while habitually keeping people waiting, or expect unwavering loyalty while feeling free to betray others’ trust. This hypocrisy can be incredibly frustrating for those around them, creating a sense of unfairness and resentment.
10. They’re always right (in their own mind)
They’ll argue their point to death, even in the face of irrefutable evidence. If backed into a corner, they might change the subject, twist facts, or simply refuse to engage further. It’s as if being right is so crucial to their self-image that they’ll sacrifice logic, relationships, and reality itself to maintain their infallible status. Debating with them can be frustrating and ultimately futile.
11. They didn’t get the gratitude memo
For deeply selfish individuals, appreciation is a foreign concept. They tend to take favors, gifts, or kind gestures for granted, often without so much as a “thank you.” In their mind, they’re entitled to these things, so why should they be grateful? When they do express thanks, it often feels perfunctory or insincere.
12. They’re always comparing and competing
Life is a constant contest for the deeply selfish, and they’re determined to win. They’ll find ways to turn even the most casual situations into competitions. Did you just share good news? They’ll one-up you with something better. Facing a challenge? Theirs is definitely harder. This compulsive need to compare and come out on top can make interactions exhausting and can break relationships over time.
13. They don’t respect boundaries
Personal space? Privacy? These concepts don’t sit right with the deeply selfish. They’ll borrow your things without asking, pry into your personal affairs, or show up uninvited. This disregard for boundaries extends to emotional limits too. They might overshare about their own life while dismissing your discomfort, or push you to do things you’ve clearly stated you’re not comfortable with. In their world, your boundaries are merely suggestions, easily ignored when inconvenient.
14. They can’t handle criticism
They’ll react to even the gentlest criticism as if you’ve launched a personal attack. They might become defensive, lash out, or simply refuse to acknowledge any flaw in their behavior or work. This inability to accept feedback not only stunts their personal growth but also makes it challenging for others to work or interact with them effectively.
15. They don’t celebrate others’ successes
For a deeply selfish person, someone else’s success often feels like their own failure. They struggle to genuinely be happy for others’ achievements, instead responding with indifference, backhanded compliments, or attempts to downplay the accomplishment. If forced to acknowledge someone’s success, they might quickly change the subject or find a way to relate it back to themselves.
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