Feeling like the sparkle has gone out of your life lately? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Sometimes life can just feel crappy. But we have good news: often, it’s not life that’s the problem—it’s some of the habits we’ve picked up along the way. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and dig into some joy-sucking habits you might want to show the door
1. Being addicted to your phone
If the first thing you do in the morning is check your phone, and the last thing you do at night is…check your phone, you might be a digital addict. Constant connectivity can lead to increased stress, decreased productivity, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed. How to detox? Designate certain times of day as phone-free zones. Try keeping your phone out of the bedroom, or have a “no phones at the dinner table” rule. And for the love of all that is holy, stop doom-scrolling before bed!
2. Thinking you’ll “be happy when…”
I’ll be happy when I get that promotion. When I lose 10 pounds. When I find the perfect partner. If you’re always pushing your joy to some future point, you’re missing out on the here and now. It sounds radical, but you can decide to be happy now. Right this second. What’s one small thing you can appreciate or enjoy in this very moment? Boom, you’re practicing happiness in the present.
3. Automatically saying “yes”
Are you the person who says yes to everything? Extra work project? Yes! Help a friend move for the third time this year? Of course! Organize the office holiday party while juggling ten other commitments? Why not! All those yeses might make you feel helpful in the moment, but they’re actually stealing your time and energy. It’s time to start practicing the art of the graceful “no.” For every new commitment, think of what you’ll have to give up to make room for it. Is it worth it?
4. Doing too many things at once
Contrary to popular belief, multitasking isn’t a superpower—it’s a super way to do several things poorly all at once. If you’re constantly juggling multiple tasks, you’re probably not giving anything your full attention, which can lead to increased stress and decreased satisfaction. Instead? Embrace single-tasking. Focus on one task at a time, give it your full attention, and then move on to the next.
5. Freaking out about the future
If you’re constantly worrying about what might happen tomorrow, next week, or ten years from now, you’re robbing yourself of joy in the present moment. Sure, a little planning for the future is good, but excessive worry isn’t helpful for anyone. This is where mindfulness comes in: When you catch yourself spiraling into future worries, gently bring your attention back to the present moment. What can you see, hear, smell, taste, or feel right now? Grounding yourself in the present can help quiet those future anxieties.
6. Bragging about being busy
We’re going to say something that might sting: being perpetually busy isn’t a sign of importance, it’s often a sign of poor time management. So, what do you do? Start valuing your downtime as much as your busy time. Schedule periods of rest and relaxation, and treat them as non-negotiable appointments with yourself. Remember, you’re a human being, not a human doing.
7. Complaining non-stop
If complaining has become your default mode of communication, you’re training your brain to focus on the negative. Sure, venting can feel good in the moment, but, according to Psychology Today, chronic complaining can lead to a pervasively negative outlook on life. Try this: For every complaint, challenge yourself to find a solution or a positive aspect. Better yet, try a complaint-free day (or week if you’re feeling ambitious).
8. Downplaying your achievements
“Oh, it was nothing,” or “Anyone could have done it” are classic joy-minimizing phrases. You’re essentially telling your brain that your accomplishments and positive qualities aren’t worth celebrating. You need to start owning it. Did you finally fold that laundry that’s been sitting on the chair for a week? Heck yeah, you did! Give yourself a little victory dance.
9. Clinging to your comfort zone
If you’re holding onto your comfort zone like it’s the last lifeboat on the Titanic, you might be missing out. Growth and joy often lie just outside our comfort zones, but we need to be willing to step out and explore. Something you can do is start small. Choose one thing each week that’s slightly outside your comfort zone and then gradually increase the challenge.
10. Neglecting the good things
It’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and forget about all the things that are going right. But if you’re constantly dwelling on the negative, you’re essentially telling the universe, “No thanks, I don’t want any more good stuff!” You need to start a daily gratitude practice. Each night before bed, write down three things you’re grateful for and watch your happiness skyrocket.
11. Holding grudges
If you’re always carrying around the pain and disappointment of anyone who’s ever wronged you, it’s time to lighten the load. You’ve got to practice forgiveness—not for the other person’s sake, but for your own. Try writing a letter to someone you’re holding a grudge against (no need to send it), expressing your feelings, and then symbolically releasing them.
12. Putting things off
Constantly putting things off until the last minute? You’re setting yourself up for a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety. Plus, that nagging feeling of unfinished tasks can be a real joy-killer. Set a timer for just 10 minutes and start working on that thing you’ve been avoiding. Often, getting started is the hardest part. Once you’re in motion, you might find it’s not as bad as you thought.
13. Looking for external validation
You’re putting your happiness in everyone else’s hands. It’s exhausting, and spoiler alert: you’ll never please everyone. Change this habit by approving of yourself first. Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments. Practice making decisions based on what YOU want, not what you think others expect of you. Remember, the only person you need to impress is yourself.
14. De-prioritizing sleep
You’re doing yourself a major disservice. Chronic sleep deprivation is a one-way ticket to being super grouchy with side effects like anxiety and low productivity according to the Sleep Foundation. You have to treat sleep like it’s your job (because it kind of is). Set a consistent sleep schedule, create a relaxing bedtime routine, and treat your bedroom like the sleep sanctuary it should be. Your well-rested future self will thank you.
15. Comparing yourself to everyone
You know that thing where you’re scrolling through social media, and suddenly you feel like your life isn’t at all impressive? Yeah, that’s the comparison game, and it’s time to quit playing. Next time you feel the urge to compare, try this instead: list three things you’re grateful for in your life.
16. Chasing perfection
Perfectionism is like a really uncomfortable pair of shoes—it might look good on the outside, but it’s killing you on the inside. If you’re constantly setting impossibly high standards for yourself, you’re signing up for a non-stop disappointment party. Instead: Embrace the beauty of “good enough.” Next time you’re working on something, set a timer and stop when it goes off. Done is better than perfect, and you might be surprised at how liberating it feels to let go of those unrealistic standards.
