Spreading gossip isn’t just for school playgrounds — sadly, it’s alive and well in the adult world, too. Instead of letting it affect you or becoming part of the gossip grapevine, which can trash your reputation and relationships, you can shut down the person spreading it with one of these 15 comebacks. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint and knock it off.
1. “Let’s not talk about other people.”
You’re sitting with your friend, eating lunch, and enjoying the day. Then, out of nowhere, they start talking about some gossip they heard about a mutual friend that you actually really like and respect. Shut this behavior down right away by telling your friend that you don’t want to talk badly about other people. Done.
2. “But, do you know the facts?”
You know that gossip is sometimes made up or tweaked to serve whoever’s spreading it. Make the person sharing the gossip aware of this by challenging them with the facts. Chances are, they don’t know the truth of the story they’re throwing around town. If they have no idea what they’re talking about, they probably shouldn’t be talking at all, right?
3. “I’m sure they’re flattered that you’re interested in their life.”
According to Insight Therapy, people gossip because they’re insecure. So, if the person is gossiping about their rival or untrustworthy friend, it’s likely to get an ego boost. Call out the behavior and maybe even embarrass them a little about giving the person so much attention. Ouch!
4. “We should call ’em right now!”
What if you grab your phone and pretend to call the mutual friend they’re gossiping about? They’ll probably tell you they don’t want to do that. How convenient! They’d rather go around talking to everyone else than the person they have a problem with, and this comeback will make them aware of it.
5. “I heard some gossip about you, actually.”
If someone is telling you about gossip you’re the target of, you don’t have to stand for it. Consider telling them that you know gossip about them to throw them off. They’ll likely insist it’s not true, so why would what they heard about you be?
6. “This is so negative. I don’t like it.”
Another way to set some boundaries so you don’t engage in gossip is to tell the person that gossiping is something that doesn’t make you feel good. You’d rather talk about something more positive and uplifting than putting other people down or scrutinizing and judging their lives. Tell them you’re not feeling it and don’t want to go down that road.
7. “We’re so much better than this.”
Gossip is trashy and immature, and you don’t want that negativity in your life. It can help to remind the person who’s spreading gossip that you’re both too classy for that behavior.
8. “I’d rather talk about…”
Divert everyone’s attention! Spread some positivity to replace all the negativity around you! They might totally forget about the person they were talking trash about and move on to something better.
9. “I have zero interest in this.”
If the person makes you feel uncomfortable, you can shut them down for good by telling them you have no interest in hearing about the gossip. Let them take it somewhere else. Sometimes you have to be direct to get your message across!
10. “Are you going to talk about me later?”
You can phrase this statement as a joke, but it will still get your point across to the gossiper. Let them know that you know gossipers run around behind everyone’s backs spreading rumors, and it’s not cool.
11. “How would you feel if you were the target of this gossip?”
It’s easy to forget about what the target of the gossip is going through. Unfounded rumors being passed around can be hurtful and damage people’s lives. This phrase can remind the gossip spreader to be more empathetic and think about the effect their words might have on other people.
12. “This is such a waste of time.”
Show them that you’re not interested and you’ve got better things to do. Then, you can either change the subject or end the call. They’re unlikely to bother you again with gossip in the future (if they know what’s good for them, that is).
13. “Why are you thinking of them so much?”
If the person seems to be obsessed with gossiping about a specific person, you might want to ask them why they’re so interested. This is a good way to confront them about their behavior and put an end to the gossiping. After all, why would they fixate on someone they’re not even close to?
14. “This makes me feel…”
You can share with the person why you don’t like gossip. According to Verywell Mind, it’s a good idea to use emotionally sensitive communication such as “I feel” statements. So, for example, you could say something like, “Gossiping makes me feel negative and depressed because it’s hurtful to other people.”
15. “I have to run right now, let’s catch up later.”
Tell them you have to make an important call or that you have to be somewhere, but you’ll chat with them later. If you do this whenever they want to gossip, hopefully, they’ll get the hint you don’t want to talk about it.
