While we often focus on external obstacles to success, the truth is, some of the biggest roadblocks are the ones we build in our own minds. That’s right, we’re talking about emotional blocks—those psychological barriers that can keep you stuck. The good news? Once you can identify these emotional blocks, you’re already halfway to knocking them down. So, let’s talk about the stuff that might be holding you back from the success you deserve.
1. You’ve convinced yourself you’re a fraud
You know that feeling when you know deep in your bones that you’re a fraud and everyone’s about to find out? According to WebMD, that’s imposter syndrome, and it’s more common than you think. It can make you undervalue your skills and miss out on opportunities. Remember, if you’re worried about being an imposter, chances are you’re not one. Real imposters don’t worry about these things.
2. You just know you’re going to mess it all up
You might find yourself procrastinating on important tasks, avoiding new challenges, or overthinking every decision. The fear of failure often stems from a fixed mindset—the belief that your abilities are set in stone according to Harvard Business School. To overcome this, try reframing failure as a learning opportunity. Each setback is a chance to gather data, refine your approach, and grow.
3. You’re scared that you might not mess it all up
On the flip side, you might find yourself subconsciously creating obstacles or backing away just when success is within reach. This fear can stem from concerns about increased expectations, fear of change, or worry about maintaining success once achieved. It might also be linked to a belief that you don’t deserve success. To tackle this, visualize your success in detail, including how you’ll handle new responsibilities. You have the ability to adapt.
4. You’re always dreading what’s to come
This can manifest as excessive planning, difficulty making decisions, or feeling paralyzed when thinking about long-term goals. It often stems from a need for control in an inherently uncertain world. To manage this, practice grounding techniques to stay present. Focus on what you can control in the here and now. Break big future goals into smaller, actionable steps.
5. You’re too chummy with resentment
Grudges can stem from a sense of injustice or a need to protect yourself from future hurt. However, they often hurt you more than the person you’re resenting. Practice forgiveness, not for the other person’s sake, but for your own peace of mind. This doesn’t mean condoning hurtful actions, but freeing yourself from the emotional burden.
6. You’re afraid of being turned down
This fear runs deeper than just disliking the word “no.” It can stem from a fundamental need for acceptance and belonging. The fear of rejection might cause you to avoid putting yourself out there, whether in personal relationships, job applications, or creative pursuits. Remember, rejection is often not personal but a mismatch of needs or timing. Try reframing rejection as redirection—it’s guiding you towards where you’re meant to be.
7. You think everyone is better than you
We’re constantly bombarded with curated highlights of others’ lives, leading to a skewed perception of reality. This can result in feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, or a constant sense of falling behind. Remember, you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. Focus on your own progress and goals. Use others’ success as inspiration rather than a benchmark for your own worth.
8. You feel bad about, well, everything
It’s not just feeling guilty about something you’ve done, it can also be feeling responsible for things beyond your control or feeling like you don’t deserve success. Distinguish between appropriate guilt (which can motivate positive change) and inappropriate guilt. Practice self-forgiveness and make amends where necessary, then give yourself permission to move forward.
9. You don’t want to let anyone down
You might set low expectations for yourself to avoid the pain of falling short. This fear often stems from past experiences of disappointment or high-pressure environments. Remember, disappointment is a natural part of life and growth. It’s better to aim high and fall short than to never try at all. Practice resilience by learning from disappointments rather than being defined by them.
10. Your past left an imprint on your brain
This isn’t just about having bad memories, unresolved emotional baggage can influence your behavior, relationships, and self-perception in subtle but significant ways. You might find yourself reacting disproportionately to certain triggers or repeating unhealthy patterns. Acknowledge the impact of your past experiences without letting them dictate your future. Consider professional help if you’re struggling to move past certain issues.
11. You believe your worth is dependent on others’ approval
This can lead to people-pleasing behaviors, difficulty setting boundaries, or losing touch with your own desires and values. While it’s natural to care what others think, an excessive need for approval can hold you back from authentic self-expression and pursuing your true goals. Practice making decisions based on your own values and judgment. Remember, you can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.
12. You’re of the “there’s not enough to go around” mindset
This can lead to overly competitive behavior, hoarding resources, or a reluctance to celebrate others’ successes. It often stems from past experiences of deprivation or insecurity. Cultivate an abundance mindset by focusing on gratitude for what you have and the opportunities available to you. Remember, success isn’t a finite resource—someone else’s win doesn’t diminish your own potential for success.
13. You don’t treat yourself kindly
A lack of self-compassion can manifest as harsh self-criticism, ignoring your own needs, or pushing yourself to unhealthy limits. It often stems from beliefs that self-compassion is self-indulgent or will lead to complacency. In reality, self-compassion is linked to greater motivation and resilience. Practice self-compassionate self-talk, especially in moments of failure or stress.
14. You have deep-seated negative assumptions about yourself and the world
These might be beliefs like “I’m not creative” or “Success is only for lucky people.” Often formed in childhood or through past experiences, these limiting beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Challenge these beliefs by seeking evidence to the contrary. Experiment with acting as if you didn’t have these limitations. Remember, beliefs are not facts—they can be changed with conscious effort and new experiences.
15. Every word that you speak about yourself is negative
This inner critic can become so ingrained that you barely notice it, yet it shapes your perception of yourself and the world. It might manifest as catastrophizing (“If I fail this, my whole career is over”), overgeneralizing (“I always mess things up”), or personalizing (“It’s all my fault”). To combat this, practice mindfulness to become aware of your thought patterns. Then, challenge these thoughts: Is there evidence to support them? What would you say to a friend in this situation? Gradually replace negative self-talk with more compassionate talk.
