You know that moment when you realize you’re wrong, but your pride just won’t let you admit it? While this behavior isn’t exclusive to men, it’s often associated with masculine stereotypes. Let’s talk about some things some men do when they know they’re in the wrong but can’t bring themselves to admit it. We’re all human, right?
1. They start debating like it’s their job
When this guy is wrong, he transforms into a one-man debate team. Every point becomes an opportunity for argument, every fact a chance to split hairs. He’ll pull out obscure details, question the validity of evidence, and use logical gymnastics. The goal isn’t to reach the truth but to create so much doubt and confusion that his original error gets lost in the verbal shuffle.
2. They deflect, deflect, deflect
You’re in the middle of a discussion about how he forgot to pay the electric bill, and suddenly he’s talking about last night’s baseball game. By abruptly changing the subject, he’s trying to divert attention away from his mistake. This tactic often leaves the other person feeling confused and frustrated, as the real issue at hand is still unaddressed.
3. They blow it way out of proportion
This guy responds to accusations of wrongdoing by exaggerating. “Oh, so I guess I’m just the worst person in the world then!” or “Well, why don’t you just fire me if I’m so terrible at my job?” By exaggerating to an absurd degree, he hopes to make the original complaint seem unreasonable. This can be effective in the short term because it often makes the accuser backpedal or feel like they’re being too harsh. However, it’s ultimately a way of avoiding responsibility and can lead to a pattern.
4. They suddenly have a selective memory
“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” or “Are you sure I said that? I have no recollection of it,” become his go-to phrases. This selective memory can be incredibly frustrating for others, as it makes it difficult to have productive discussions about past events or agreements. It can also make the person pointing out the mistake feel like they’re crazy for remembering something the other person conveniently forgot (cough cough: that’s gaslighting, according to Psychology Today).
5. They pull the reverse psychology card
This is a subtle and clever tactic. When confronted with a mistake, this guy might say something like, “You’re right, I’m always wrong. I can’t do anything right, can I?” The hope is that the other person will feel bad and backtrack, saying, “No, no, you’re not always wrong…”—it’s a manipulative way of making the other person feel guilty for pointing out a legitimate mistake.
6. They turn it into a conversation about perfectionism
When this guy makes a mistake, he projects impossibly high standards onto others to deflect from his own error. “Well, nobody’s perfect,” he might say, or “I’d like to see you do better under those circumstances.” By setting up an unrealistic bar of perfection, he tries to make his mistake seem like a normal, unavoidable occurrence. While it’s true that everyone makes mistakes, this approach often serves to avoid taking responsibility.
7. They focus on the future
When confronted with a mess-up, this guy becomes all about the future. “It won’t happen again,” or “I’ll do better next time,” he’ll say, without actually addressing the current issue. While promises for future improvement can be great, when used as a way to avoid dealing with the present mistake, they can be problematic. Over time, if these promises aren’t kept, it can lead to a breakdown of trust and credibility.
8. They go mute
It’s not just that he won’t admit he’s wrong—he won’t say anything at all. This silent treatment can last anywhere from a few hours to several days, depending on the severity of the situation (or his stubbornness). The silence creates a void that the other person often feels compelled to fill, sometimes even apologizing just to end the uncomfortable quiet. This is passive aggression at its finest.
9. They divert, divert, divert
He becomes a one-man entertainment show, pulling out all the stops to divert attention from his mistake. This might involve suddenly remembering an urgent task that needs immediate attention, initiating physical affection out of the blue, or even creating a minor crisis to deal with. “I know I forgot our anniversary, but have you seen my keys? I can’t find them anywhere!” He hopes that by the time the distraction has passed, the original issue will be forgotten or seem less important.
10. They throw the blame onto you
This guy has a black belt for turning “I messed up” into “You messed up.” It’s like watching a tennis match, but instead of a ball, it’s responsibility being volleyed back and forth. “I wouldn’t have forgotten if you had reminded me!” he might say, conveniently ignoring the fact that it was his task to remember. It can be particularly damaging in relationships, as it decreases trust and creates an unfair distribution of emotional labor.
11. They make it seem smaller than it is
“It’s not a big deal,” becomes his verbal shield, deflecting the importance of his actions. The problem with minimizing is that it invalidates the feelings of those affected by the mistake. Sure, forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning might seem minor to him, but if it means his partner has to go to an important meeting in yesterday’s coffee-stained shirt, it’s actually a pretty big deal.
12. They start to overcompensate
Suddenly, he’s doing all the chores, bringing home flowers, or being extra attentive. While this might seem positive on the surface, it’s actually a way of avoiding the real issue. The problem is that without addressing the original mistake, the underlying cause remains unresolved. This behavior can create a cycle where mistakes are made, and compensated for, but never truly dealt with.
13. They try to smooth it over with humor
Here’s a guy who thinks he can laugh his way out of any situation. When confronted with a mistake, he’ll crack jokes, use sarcasm, or try to make light of the situation. “Oops, I guess I’m just a lovable scatterbrain!” he might say with a grin. While humor can be a great way to diffuse tension, using it consistently to avoid taking responsibility for mistakes can be frustrating for others. It can make the person pointing out the mistake feel like their concerns aren’t being taken seriously.
14. They bring up technicalities
This guy loves to dance around the issue by focusing on tiny, often irrelevant details. When confronted with a mistake, he’ll zero in on a minor technicality to argue that he wasn’t actually wrong. “You said to be home by 6, and technically, 6:59 is still 6-something!” While he might be technically correct, this behavior misses the bigger picture.
15. They do the whole “whataboutism” thing
Meet the master of “But what about when you…?” This guy deflects attention from his own mistakes by immediately pointing out similar or unrelated mistakes made by others. If you confront him about forgetting an important deadline, he might respond with, “Well, what about that time you forgot to pick up the kids from soccer practice?” This tactic, known as whataboutism according to Psychology Today, is an attempt to discredit the accuser by suggesting hypocrisy without actually addressing the accusation. It’s particularly frustrating because it derails the conversation and creates a false equivalence between different situations. Over time, this behavior can lead to a toxic environment where mistakes are never addressed, only compared and contrasted.
