Psychology has long grappled with the concept of morality. What makes a person “good” or “bad”? Is it nature, nurture, or some complex interplay of the two? While these questions may never find definitive answers, researchers have identified patterns of behavior that often indicate a fragile or absent moral framework, like the following.
1. The truth is not their strong suit
We’re not talking about the occasional white lie to spare someone’s feelings here. We’re talking about people who lie like it’s their job. Psychologists say that chronic lying often indicates a deeper disregard for the impact of one’s actions on others. It’s like they’re playing a never-ending game of “let’s see what I can get away with.” The truth, for them, is just an inconvenient obstacle to getting what they want. So if you find yourself fact-checking every other sentence that comes out of someone’s mouth, you might want to proceed with caution.
2. Their empathy could use a boost
Imagine explaining to someone why kicking puppies is wrong, and they respond with a blank stare and a “So what?” That’s the kind of emotional disconnect we’re talking about here. These individuals struggle to understand or care about others’ emotions, treating people more like objects than, well, people. This matters because empathy is like the secret sauce of morality. Without it, making ethical decisions becomes not so likely. If you’re dealing with someone who consistently shows less emotional response than a rock, that’s a red flag waving so hard.
3. They know how to pull some strings
They’re experts at twisting situations, words, and even your own emotions to get what they want. Manipulation is all about control and personal gain, with zero regard for the well-being of others. If you often feel like you’re being maneuvered into situations or decisions that benefit someone else at your expense, you might be dealing with a master manipulator. Time to check if there are any strings attached to your arms and legs!
4. You won’t catch them taking responsibility
These individuals have a black belt in blame-shifting and excuse-making. Psychologists point out that the ability to take responsibility for one’s actions is a crucial part of moral development. It’s about recognizing that our choices have consequences and being willing to face them. Someone who constantly dodges responsibility is essentially saying, “The rules don’t apply to me, and I don’t care how my actions affect others.”
5. They feed off of others’ pain
They’re not just lacking in empathy, they seem to actually enjoy others’ pain or discomfort. They might laugh at someone’s misfortune, spread gossip with glee, or even actively create situations that cause others distress. According to Psychology Today, psychologists call this trait “schadenfreude” when it’s mild, but when it’s severe, it can be a sign of sadistic tendencies. If you’re dealing with someone who lights up like a Christmas tree when discussing others’ failures or hardships, you might want to keep your personal struggles under wraps around them.
6. They view rules as guidelines
For these individuals, rules and laws are seen as mere suggestions, inconvenient obstacles to be circumvented rather than societal guidelines to be respected. They’ll break rules or laws without hesitation if it benefits them, often justifying it with a casual “It’s not a big deal” or “Everyone does it.”
Respect for rules and laws is a fundamental aspect of a functioning moral compass. It’s not about blindly following every rule, but understanding that these guidelines exist for a reason. Someone who casually disregards rules is essentially saying, “My desires are more important than the collective good.”
7. They have a different persona for every occasion
We all adjust our behavior a bit in different social situations, but these folks take it to a whole new level. While adaptability can be a positive trait, extreme changes in personality and values often indicate a lack of a solid moral foundation. If you feel like you’re interacting with a different person every time you meet, to the point where you’re not sure who the “real” them is, you might be dealing with someone whose moral compass is weak.
8. They love to guilt trip
They’ll use your feelings against you, manipulating you with phrases like “If you really cared about me, you’d…” or “After all I’ve done for you…” According to Positive Psychology, emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation that preys on your empathy and conscience. It’s a twisted way of controlling others by exploiting their good nature and desire to maintain relationships. Someone who regularly uses emotional blackmail is showing a willingness to cause psychological distress to get what they want.
9. The spotlight always needs to be on them
Every situation, conversation, or event is an opportunity to make themselves the center of attention. While self-confidence is healthy, an excessive need for attention often indicates a lack of empathy and consideration for others. It’s about valuing personal gratification over meaningful relationships and mutual respect.
10. They rewrite reality one denial at a time
They are experts at making you question your own reality. They’ll deny things you know happened, twist your words, or even flat-out lie about events, leaving you feeling confused and doubting your own memory and perceptions. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional manipulation. It’s about control and power, achieved by undermining someone’s trust in their own judgment. A person who consistently gaslights others is showing a profound disregard for truth and for others’ mental well-being.
11. They’re present for the good times and gone for the bad
These individuals are all about the good times, but when things get tough, they’re nowhere to be found. They’ll happily partake in celebrations and fun outings, but when you need support or things aren’t going well, they suddenly have a million excuses for why they can’t be there.
True friendship and moral character are often revealed in times of adversity. Someone who’s only interested in relationships when they’re fun or beneficial is showing a lack of loyalty and genuine care for others. If you have a friend who’s not reliable, you might want to reconsider the depth of that relationship.
12. They take credit for others’ work
They’ll swoop in at the last minute to take credit for a project you’ve been slaving over, or they’ll repackage someone else’s idea as their own. Taking credit for others’ work isn’t just annoying—it’s a form of intellectual theft that shows a disregard for honesty and respect for others’ efforts. It indicates a willingness to advance oneself at the expense of others, which is a pretty big red flag when it comes to moral character.
13. They’re always the wronged
These people have a perpetual “woe is me” attitude. No matter the situation, they’re always the victim, constantly bemoaning how unfairly life and others treat them. While everyone goes through tough times, consistently viewing oneself as a victim can be a way of avoiding personal responsibility and manipulating others’ sympathy. It’s a perspective that often leads to blaming others and feeling justified in treating people poorly.
14. They have a “the ends justify the means” attitude
They’re willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Lying, cheating, stepping on others—it’s all fair game as long as they get what they want. This mindset represents a fundamental disregard for ethical considerations in favor of personal gain. It’s a perspective that can lead to a wide range of harmful behaviors, all justified by the desired outcome.
15. They’re ethical when they want to be
They’re all about following the rules and being moral when it benefits them, but those same principles go out the window when they’re inconvenient. Consistent ethical behavior is a hallmark of a strong moral compass. Someone who only adheres to moral principles when it’s easy or beneficial is showing that their ethics are more about appearance than genuine conviction. If you’re dealing with someone whose moral stance seems to change, you might want to be cautious about relying on them.
