According to Eastern Oregon University, a bit of competition is healthy — it can inspire you to better yourself and to push to reach your full potential. However, there can be too much of a good thing. If you turn everything into a competition, you’re not only going to alienate everyone around you, but you’re also going to end up losing in the end…in some pretty big ways. If you have any of these unhealthy traits, you may want to reassess your behavior.
1. Winning is everything for you.
When you’re in a situation where there’s even a hint of competition, winning becomes your top priority. It’s not just about enjoying the game or activity; it’s about coming out on top every single time. This attitude seriously takes the fun out of friendly games or casual activities and turns them into some kind of high-stakes challenge. Your friends might start feeling like they’re less pals and more of opponents, which can strain relationships.
2. You get really upset when you lose.
Losing isn’t just disappointing for you; it literally ruins your whole day. You might get mad, frustrated, or upset when you don’t come out on top, regardless of how trivial the game or competition was. This intense reaction to losing isn’t just a momentary setback, either. It starts affecting your mood and how you interact with everyone around you. This is a clear sign that your competitiveness is edging into unhealthy territory.
3. You’re a master of the comparison game.
You constantly measure your success against your friends, peers, family members, etc. It’s not enough to do well for you — you feel the need to do better than everyone else. This constant comparison ends up making you lose sight of your own achievements and progress because you’re way too focused on outdoing everyone else’s (or trying to). Not only will this stress you out, but you’ll end up feeling like you’re just not good enough.
4. You sacrifice fun for the sweet taste of victory.
In situations where most people just want to have fun, you’re strategizing about how to win. Whether it’s a casual game night or a friendly sports match, you’re mentally developing tactics and plans to ensure your victory. While there’s nothing wrong with a bit of strategy, if you’re always choosing winning over having a good time, it might be a sign that your competitiveness is getting out of hand.
5. Your relationships are affected by your need to compete.
Your need to be the best and always come out on top inevitably starts to cause your relationships to break down. Friends might start avoiding hanging out with you because they know it won’t be a relaxing, enjoyable experience. Family members might get tired of your competitive nature turning every gathering into a contest. When your drive to win starts pushing people away, you know it’s time to reevaluate.
6. You sometimes struggle to be happy for other people.
When someone else succeeds or wins, instead of feeling happy for them, you feel jealous or even kinda depressed. You struggle to genuinely congratulate people because their success feels like your failure. This inability to share in other people’s joy is a clear sign that your competitive spirit is destroying your ability to connect and empathize with people. Do you really want to live like that?
7. You’re never satisfied with your performance.
Even when you win or accomplish something amazing, you still don’t feel satisfied. You’re always nitpicking your performance, focusing on what you could have done better. This constant self-critique over every achievement just drains the happiness out of your successes. It gets hard for you to enjoy the moment because you’re too busy analyzing your performance. It turns you into a miserable person rather than one who’s stoked about how far you’ve come and where you’re going.
8. You take games very seriously.
Casual games with friends or family turn into serious competitions for you. You can’t help but treat every game like it’s a championship final. This intensity isn’t cute — in fact, it can suck the fun out of these things for everyone else. It’s like you can’t switch off the competitive part of your brain, even for light-hearted stuff. People might start feeling hesitant to play with you because they just know that the relaxed atmosphere will likely turn competitive.
9. You argue over the rules.
You just can’t help arguing over the rules of games or competitions. It’s important for you that everything is done by the book (especially when the established rules are more likely to benefit you), and you’ll be quick to call out any deviations. This inevitably leads to unnecessary drama and disrupts the natural flow of games or activities. You should be having fun, not taking things so seriously.
10. You’re always pushing yourself too hard.
Your competitive nature makes you constantly push yourself, often beyond healthy limits. You’re always striving to be better, faster, and stronger, which you might think is a good thing but can lead to burnout or a breakdown. This relentless push to improve can be physically and mentally exhausting, and it’s no wonder. Calm down a little and pace yourself!
11. You never really enjoy yourself in group activities.
Group activities are meant to be a team effort but they often frustrate you because you find it hard to not turn them into competitions. You might struggle with team projects or group exercises because you’re always trying to outdo everyone else. This can make it really hard for you to work in group settings, which will not only alienate you from everyone in the group but probably hold you back in your career in general.
12. You just can’t let go of past losses.
Past losses stick in your mind. You find it hard to let go of these memories and often get them stuck in a loop in your head, with you always about what you could have done differently. The inability to let go and move on can keep you from actually living in (and enjoying) the moment and planning for the future. According to NPR, you’re supposed to learn and grow, not get stuck in the past.
