Have you ever argued with a narcissist and felt like your head was spinning? Like, you know what happened… but then they say something, and suddenly you’re questioning your own memory. That’s not an accident, sadly. According to Psychology Today, narcissists are master manipulators – let’s unpack the mind games they use to mess with your head.
1. They Make You Doubt Your Sanity.
According to Choosing Therapy, gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make you question your own sanity and perception of reality. They deny things they said or did, question your memory, and make you feel like you’re going crazy. Gaslighting can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental well-being. It’s time to cut off toxic people like this for good.
2. They Blame Other People for Their Own Flaws.
Narcissists often project their negative traits and behaviors onto other people. They accuse you of things they’re actually guilty of, creating confusion and defensiveness. By shifting the blame onto you, they don’t have to be accountable for their actions and maintain a false sense of superiority.
3. They Use Money To Manipulate You.
Think money doesn’t have anything to do with abuse? Think again. Narcissists often use their money as a weapon – they might cut you off completely, make you beg for every penny, or dangle fancy things in front of you if you play by their rules. It’s all about making you feel totally dependent on them, which means you’re trapped and way easier to control.
4. They Use Charm To Gain Your Trust.
Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic, especially when they want something from you. They use flattery, compliments, and gifts to manipulate your emotions and gain your trust. This charm is often used as a tool to control and manipulate you, making it harder for you to see their true intentions.
5. They Distort the Past.
Picture this: You try to confront a narcissist about something crappy they did and they go, “Whoa, never happened.” Just totally blank stare you down, insisting you’re crazy. Or, they’ll twist that argument from last week until it sounds like YOU’RE the psycho one. It’s a maddening power trip designed to make you question yourself and keep you from ever holding them accountable.
6. They Cut You Off from Support.
Narcissists try to isolate their victims from friends and family. They criticize and belittle your loved ones, making you question their intentions and loyalty. By isolating you, they gain more control over your life and make it harder for you to find support or escape their influence. This isolation can leave you feeling trapped and dependent on the narcissist.
7. They Use Emotional Manipulation To Control You.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating your emotions to get what they want. They use guilt, fear, or pity to control your actions and maintain power over you. By playing on your feelings, they can keep you in a constant state of confusion and vulnerability. It’s really awful.
8. They Create Conflict and Division.
Narcissists are drama-stirring masters. They gossip behind your back, play friends against each other, and twist everything you say to make you look like the bad guy. Their goal is to create chaos so everyone’s distracted fighting each other and nobody confronts the narcissist with their own shady behavior.
9. They Overwhelm You with Affection.
Narcissists often use love bombing as a tactic to gain your trust and affection. They shower you with excessive attention, compliments, and affection in the early stages of the relationship. This intense affection can make you feel special and desired, but it’s often a manipulative strategy to control and manipulate your feelings.
10. They Punish You with Silence.
Narcissists love to use the silent treatment as a form of punishment or control. They intentionally ignore you, withhold communication, and create a sense of isolation to make you feel anxious, insecure, and desperate for their attention and validation.
11. They Convince Other People To Go Against You.
Narcissists may manipulate your friends, family members, or colleagues, to turn against you. They twist the truth, spread false information, and manipulate other people’s perceptions of you in any way they can. This form of gaslighting by proxy further isolates you and destroys your support system — and yes, that’s on purpose.
12. They Make False Promises With a Fake Future.
Narcissists are really good at dangling promises of a better future or unfulfilled plans in front of victims to string them along. Even if these promises are never realized, the false hope is enough to prevent you from escaping the toxic dynamic that is slowly destroying your self-worth.
13. They Reel You Back in After Discarding You.
Okay, ever tried to quit a toxic on-again, off-again thing? Those moments of feeling strong…followed by their big, puppy dog “I’ve changed, I swear!” act? Narcissists are pros at that move. They pretend to be sorry, shower you with attention, then BOOM, you’re sucked back into their drama before you realize what hit you. It’s about ego, not love.
14. They Confuse You With Flowery Language.
When confronted, narcissists have been known to respond with word salad — rambling speech lacking in coherence or internal logic. This is meant to confuse and exhaust you so they don’t have to address their behaviors or take responsibility for their actions. The sad part is, this works more often than not.
15. They Start to Threaten You.
Some narcissists will subtly threaten or intimidate their victims and people who have seen them in action in order to preemptively silence any criticism or prevent anyone from coming forward with accusations of abuse. This instills fear and helps the narcissist control the narrative.
16. They Humiliate You.
Narcissists love an audience when they go on the attack. You know how the worst bullies seem to always pick fights in front of a crowd? It’s a power move! They tear you down to make themselves look big, whether it’s that “funny” roast at dinner or snapping at you in the store. It’s all about making you feel small and embarrassing you so they feel on top.
