Trust is a biggie in any healthy relationship, but what happens when that trust is compromised? While it’s important not to jump to conclusions, certain behaviors might tell you that your partner isn’t being entirely truthful. Here are 16 signs to watch out for.
1. They accuse you of lying
Sometimes, liars project their own behavior onto others. If your partner frequently accuses you of being dishonest without a real reason, it might be a reflection of their own actions. This can also keep you on the defensive—being careful about your every move, which distracts you from your partner’s behavior (at least for a while).
2. They’re always on their phone
Isn’t everyone always on their phone? Well, these days, yes. But if they’re trying to keep their phone usage private, that is suspicious as heck. If your partner suddenly becomes protective of their device, turning it face down or taking calls in another room, it might indicate they’re hiding something.
3. Their friends seem uncomfortable around you
Here’s something awkward: sometimes, a liar’s friends might know the truth and feel awkward around you. Maybe you notice your partner’s friends acting strangely, avoiding certain topics when you’re around, or everyone going silent when you enter the room. If those things have happened to you, it could be a sign that they’re privy to information you’re not.
4. Their body language seems off
Pay attention to nonverbal cues, they never lie. According to Forbes, fidgeting, crossed arms, or turning their body away from you during conversations could indicate discomfort or dishonesty. Remember, body language should be considered alongside the other stuff on this list, because sometimes being nervous can sometimes mimic these signs.
5. They avoid eye contact
When someone’s lying, they might find it hard to look you in the eye. So, if your partner suddenly starts avoiding eye contact during conversations, especially when discussing sensitive topics? It could be a red flag. Just keep in mind that some people naturally struggle with eye contact, so consider this in context with everything else going on.
6. Their stories don’t add up
Liars have trouble keeping their stories straight (so many lies, so little organization!). If you notice inconsistencies in your partner’s accounts of events or their explanations change every time they tell a story, it might be cause for concern. Pay attention to details that shift or don’t make sense when pieced together.
7. They get defensive quickly
A dishonest person will often get angry or defensive when confronted with questions. If your partner reacts disproportionately to simple asks (like taking the trash out) and turns them into arguments, it could be an attempt to deflect from the truth. Honest communication shouldn’t feel like you’re tip-toeing on eggshells.
8. They’re vague about details
Liars often use this trick: they give you general answers and avoid specifics. Maybe your partner’s responses are consistently vague or they change the subject when you ask for more information. That might be because they’re trying to avoid getting caught in a lie. Yikes.
9. They have sudden mood swings
Maintaining lies can be stressful—it’s a full-time job! So if you notice that your partner is swinging from happy to mad or seems irritable for no apparent reason, it could be the emotional weight of their dishonesty dragging them down.
10. They overexplain simple things
This is a big one. When someone’s telling the truth, they don’t provide excessive details. So if your partner gives you a long, elaborate explanation for why it took them so long to get gas, it might just be a sneaky attempt to make the story more believable.
11. They make grand gestures out of nowhere
Sometimes, a guilty conscience leads to overcompensation. Is your partner showering you with unexpected gifts or affection without any apparent reason? If that’s not a regular occurrence, it could be an attempt to make themselves feel better about lying.
12. They use distancing language
According to Walden University, liars often subconsciously distance themselves from their lies. Pay attention to language like “that woman” instead of using a name, or “that thing” instead of being specific. This could show they’re trying to create psychological distance from the lie.
13. They answer questions with questions
Oh, deflection. A favorite among liars. Deflection is a common tactic for liars. If you ask your partner why they were out so late and they respond with, “Why were you out so late?”, they might be trying to avoid giving a direct answer.
14. They make promises they don’t keep
Actions speak louder than words. If your partner frequently makes promises they don’t follow through on, that’s a big problem. It shows that they have an even bigger issue than just a lie here or there, they have trouble with honesty and reliability on a big scale.
15. They have unexplained absences
Does your partner disappear for periods of time without explanation? Or even if they do explaion, the excuses don’t quite add up? The “liar” alarm bells should be ringing as that could be a sign that they’re hiding something.
16. Your gut tells you something’s off
Sometimes, our intuition picks up on subtle cues that our conscious mind hasn’t processed yet. If you have a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right, but you can’t put your finger on why, it’s worth exploring further.
