We’ve all encountered people who seem to have a perpetually bad attitude. You know the ones—always ready with a snarky comment, constantly complaining, or just plain difficult to be around. But here’s the thing: sometimes what looks like a bad attitude might actually be signs of a deeper issue…a personality disorder. Understanding these signs can help us approach tricky situations with more empathy and maybe even encourage someone to seek help if they need it.
1. Consistent patterns of behavior
We all have our off days, right? Maybe you snap at your coworker because you skipped breakfast and your blood sugar is low. But for someone with a personality disorder, every day is an off day. These patterns typically start in the teenage years or early adulthood and stick around like that one house guest who just won’t take the hint to leave.
2. Difficulty maintaining relationships
We’re talking about the person who seems to have a new “best friend” every other week, or whose romantic relationships are more on-again-off-again than a faulty light switch. They might bounce from intense closeness to bitter feuds faster than you can say “drama.” If someone’s leaving a trail of broken relationships in their wake, it might be more than just bad luck in the friend department.
3. Distorted self-image
Ever met someone who thinks they’re God’s gift to the world one day and then feels like total garbage the next? People with certain personality disorders might have a self-image that’s, well, unstable. They might swing between thinking they’re the bee’s knees and feeling utterly worthless, often with no apparent reason for the shift.
4. Chronic feelings of emptiness
Imagine feeling like you’re a phone running on 1% battery all the time—that’s what chronic emptiness can feel like. People experiencing this might constantly seek out new experiences or relationships to fill this void, but it’s like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom. They might complain of feeling bored or unfulfilled, no matter what’s going on in their lives.
5. Black-and-white thinking
Also known as “splitting” according to Talkspace, this is like living in a world with no shades of gray. People are either angels or devils, situations are either fantastic or terrible. There’s no middle ground. This can lead to rapid shifts in how they view you—one day you’re their best friend, and the next you’re their worst enemy.
6. Impulsive or risky behaviors
You know that friend who always seems to be saying “Hold my beer” right before doing something spectacularly unwise? While we all do impulsive things sometimes, people with certain personality disorders take it to the next level. They might regularly engage in risky behaviors without a second thought about the consequences. We’re talking major stuff here—like maxing out credit cards on a whim, diving into intense but short-lived relationships, or engaging in substance abuse.
7. Extreme reactions to abandonment (real or perceived)
For some people, the fear of abandonment is so intense they might go to extreme lengths to avoid being left alone, even when there’s no real threat of abandonment. This could manifest as clinginess, constantly checking in, or even making threats if someone tries to leave. It’s like they’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if there is no other shoe.
8. Intense and stormy relationships
For some people, relationships with others tend to be intense, unstable, and full of drama. One day, someone’s the love of their life, and the next, they’re the worst person ever. It’s like they’re living in a soap opera where the plot twists never stop coming. This can be exhausting for both them and the people in their lives.
9. Difficulty being alone
While many of us enjoy some alone time, for others, it’s horrible. They might go to great lengths to avoid being by themselves, filling their schedules to the brim, or constantly seeking company. When they are alone, they feel intensely uncomfortable or anxious. It’s like they’re allergic to their own company, always needing others around as a buffer against their own thoughts and feelings.
10. Rigid adherence to rules or moral code
Some people take “playing by the rules” to a whole new level. They might have an incredibly strict moral code or set of rules that they follow—and expect everyone else to follow too. Any deviation, no matter how small, is seen as a major transgression. This rigidity can make it hard for them to adapt to different situations or see things from other perspectives.
11. Excessive need for admiration
We all like a pat on the back now and then, but some people are constantly thirsting for praise. They might go to great lengths to be admired, exaggerating their achievements or even lying to make themselves look better. Their emotional gas tank is always running on empty, and they constantly need that admiration fuel to keep going.
12. Difficulty accepting responsibility
When things go wrong, these people have a PhD in blame-shifting. They might always have an excuse ready, pointing the finger at others or circumstances rather than acknowledging their own role in problems. This can make it really hard for them to learn from mistakes or improve their behavior.
13. Extreme jealousy or suspicion
A little jealousy is normal in relationships, but some people take it too far. They might be constantly suspicious of their partner’s actions, demanding excessive reassurance, or even engaging in controlling behaviors. This intense jealousy can put a huge strain on their connections with others.
14. Intense fear of criticism
Look, nobody actually likes being criticized, right? But for some people, even the subtlest suggestion for improvement feels like an all-out war. They might become defensive, angry, or completely shut down at the slightest hint of criticism. This hypersensitivity can make it really tough for them to grow or maintain relationships, as they struggle to handle even constructive feedback.
15. Difficulty tolerating ambiguity
Some people really, really need things to be clear-cut. According to Morris Psychology Group, ambiguity or uncertainty can send them into a tailspin of anxiety or anger. They might demand immediate answers or solutions, even in situations where there simply isn’t a definite response.
